Fear and Loathing in Overland Park

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 113

2009-06-15T19:24:00.001-07:00

So it begins. The hype begins anew and all I can do is fan the
flames.

We all hype and gripe about certain things. We all see things
that we don't believe the hype on and other things we believe
all hype in.

Case in point a movie with a guy wearing bat-ears.

But there are other times where hype is not the answer. Where
hype just seems misplaced, mismatched, completely strange
and really out of the ordinary.

Case in point: Captain America.

Some of you may have seen the news today about a big event
and wondered, what the hell? Why is this news?

If you're a fan of comics, or just a fan of the movies they make
of them, you may have heard how Captain America was shot
and killed in 2007.

And the press had a field day with that comic. Making it sell out
super fast.

Now today, word comes in from news media around the New York
area (at the least), that Marvel Comics is "resurrecting" Steve
Rogers Captain America and bringing him back to the forefront
in a comic called Reborn.

My first reaction, and one most people will agree with, is

who cares?

In fiction, there are so many cases where people are killed
and resurrected that it almost defeats the purpose of the
original story.

And when I say almost, it's all but a certainty.

The first thing a comic fan thinks when their favorite hero or
villain is killed or their book is cancelled is so what, when do
they come back?

It's never a question of will they come back. It's always a
question of when.

DC did the same tactic back in 1992 when they "killed" Superman
and brought him back 6 months later.

They did the same thing this year by "killing" Batman and
revamping the comics to have a younger Batman take his place.

We all know Bruce Wayne will come back. It's only a matter of
time.

So the fact that the New York Daily News and other news media
outlets have taken the bait and ran with it just seems completely
ridiculous.

Why?

Why do they feel that this is news?

Isn't there some kind of news bit about Iran, Korea, or the world
teetering on the brink of annihilation they can run?

Instead they run news about a comic book character "returning"
from the dead.

I've been a comic fan for years and years and years now. One of
the first events I was party to was, in fact, the Death and Return
of Superman.

I had fun back then.

Now it just gets ridiculous.

And this is coming from a guy who not only reads and buys comics
monthly but writes them. This is coming from a guy who has an
entire run of a couple of his favorite comic books.

This is coming from a guy who has been burnt out on those
comics that he loved and the fatigue that comes with the
constant need for sensationalism and something bigger.

The big event comics that drive comic sales right now just are
killing the industry as a whole.

When a new and inventive idea or comic comes around, most
people don't see it because they are so entrenched in the world
and continuity of one single comic universe that they can't jump
the fence and try something new.

One in particular is Rasl.

This is a comic book that doesn't feel like a comic. It feels like
artificial history as told in comic book form with so much science
fiction thrown in that it puts the Sci-Fi channel to shame.

It's from Jeff Smith, the creator of Bone, one of the all-time
greatestcomics ever created and a long-running staple of the
independent comic book world.

It's the model by which I read my comics these days.

Most people hear about comic books and all they think about
are the muscle-bound heroes and heroines who wear super-tight
clothes and punch each other.

They don't see the crazy adventures of a character named Frank
Einstein who has existential problems and fights more with his
friends than he does actual enemies.

They don't see comics that tell the story of a warrior aardvark
and think anything of it.

They don't see comics about the Holocaust that feature mice
as the Jews and cats as the Nazis and think it could be high art.

They don't look past that initial glance and see what we comic
readers know.

There are so many comic books out there that each person
in this world could read and enjoy and love and just utterly fall
in love with that if you tried to tear yourself away from it you'd
be forced to read it even more.

Each and every person in this world has something they love.
Something that they fight for.

Something in them that needs to be told. A story.

Anecdote.

Personal lessons learned. History.

Anything.

And a lot of these comics that people don't pick up are
telling those stories.

That's what I hope for.

I'm currently involved in an endeavor that involves comics and
a specific comic book in general that I am very proud to
be a part of.

I'm supposed to be going to the big San Diego Comic-Con to
help promote this book and possible series.

It's crazy. My head swells with ego but also in anticipation of
what this means for me. For it. For us.

But then I worry.

I worry about all those comic books sitting and gathering
dust and I wonder.

I wonder.

What makes us different?

Is it the fact that I've seen failure on the faces of friends who
do create?

Is it the fact that I've read book after book after comic after
comic detailing the process and what it takes?

No.

It's that I'm ready for failure. I'm prepared to make a mistake
and I'm ready for the negativity.

I'm prepared for someone to say no.

Because when I hear no, all I hear is another opportunity.

To show them what I mean.

If one person tells me no, a thousand people tell me no.

And I've heard them.

Being a writer trying to break into two all but impossible
industries prepares you for the nos.

But once that one yes comes, it's so glorious.

So as I said, the hype will begin.

My hype.

Some of the future installments will discuss the project
in detail and we will look at what is to become of this.

Our fingers are crossed.

Our choice has been made.

Now we must continue along that path.

No matter where it takes me.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 112

2009-06-15T19:23:00.001-07:00

NIN at Starlight.

EDIT: I apologize for the length, but apparently
the blog didn't want to post properly.
Which is why I had to get creative to fit it all in.

And what a night was had by all. But let's get down in it real quick
and discuss why it took so long to get to.

First thing: last Wednesday was one of those days where calling
this Fear and Loathing makes perfect sense. To me at least.
So let me paint
you a picture.

We all know Murphy's Law.

Anything that can happen will.

I'm going to blog about it someday, but just so you know,
Murphy's Law happened in a big way.

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

The day started absolutely perfectly and didn't have any big
major events.

No earthquake.

No tornado.

No real rain.

My wife had set an eye appointment for her and myself
so that was going to be a thorn in my side right before NIN,
but NIN! NIN!

So went to work. Traveled alone. Road was pretty vacant
as I drove to work.

The long roads heading into town seemed
desolate.

Strange.

No rain. No movement.

Just seemed like it was me and me alone on the road.

I took a half day at work to prep for NIN.

To get myself Physical and a little ready to party.

I'm going to stop using NIN songs to write my blog
as of right now. The Wretched.

So worked my half day, and then noticed low on gas.
Fine. Whatever. No big deal.

Gas was steadily on the rise, but as I talked of previously,
what am I supposed to do?

Complain about it? Throw a temper tantrum? Or buy my
gas and drive off?

Bought gas. Drove off.

Went and got lunch. Things seemed to get a little better
from there.

Things looking up. Desolation slowly flows out of me as
I head to my apartment.

I get home and get prepared for the eye doctor visit.

What a scorcher that was going to be.

It had been a little while (over a year) since my last one,
and I wasn't looking forward to it.

Head into town, down Mission road heading toward the Corinth
area, and find the place. Gerry Optical.

Headed inside. Dressed ready for the concert (and by that,
I do not mean wearing a NIN shirt.
Nor was I wearing plastic Hot Topic clothing, black nails,
or knee highs. I was wearing proper concert attire and a
jacket since I knew it was going to get cold or rain all over me).

Step inside the Corinth Gerry Optical.

Look around.

An old man gives me a weird glare as if I'm the weirdest
thing he'd seen all day.

I want to laugh.

I want to tell him that he should go to this NIN concert
and see that I'm the furthest thing from the weirdest thing
he'll see today.

Maybe weirdest insides. But not on the outside.

He tells me I'm at the wrong place.

My happiness at being early is quickly defeated and turned
into something worse.

Something terrible.

Something monstrous.

So I leave, heading back up Mission toward 75th street to
head to Gerry Optical near 75th and Antioch.

Where I had just passed after getting off the highway.

Hey, I like the scenic route.

I get there right on time.

Get my eye visit done.

Bing bang boom. No surprises.

My eyes are fine.

Nothing new.

Nothing exciting to report.

Then it starts raining. Little by little, the rains start to fall.

My wife gets her eyes checked (at the right place, as
I was decent enough to call her and tell her
the right Gerry Optical to go
to), and she needs glasses.

Money.

Money.

Money.

So more money spent on new and exciting things,
and I'm going to a concert.

I've got a 30 pack in the back of my car, sitting in a nice cooler
with tons of ice, and I'm ready.

The rain lets up, and I head to my friend's house to pick him up.

Or at least, carpool/caravan what have you.

Me and two of mis amigos head to the concert.

Murphy's Law doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Have you ever seen PCU?

Where Piven yells at Favreau, telling him not to be
that guy?

The one who wears the concert shirt?

There were hundreds and probably thousands of those
guys.

And those girls.

Wearing the shirts.

Filling the seats.

One discussion had between my friends and I was about
concert-sitters.

Those people who are either too cool for school to stand
during the concert or just too damn lazy or too damn
boring.

There were hundreds upon thousands of those too.

Pet peeves galore.

As I'm still painting a picture (mainly to make certain people
jealous of my going and their not going), there are
still certain things to talk about.

Two guys from Iowa were there.

One had a ticket.

The other didn't.

They carpooled to KC just to see NIN and brought their german
shepherd puppy.

The dog was the shit.

And literally took a coiled shit in the parking lot of Starlight.

Glorious.

Hilarious.

More weirdness.

A Hari Krishna tried to sell one of his books to one of my
friends.

I was too busy drinking to pay attention to his religion
and his book sales.

He didn't even want to look at me.

Me?

I wanted to grab him by the back of the head and shake
the religion right out of him.

Open his eyes to the world around and how no one going
to a NIN concert that night should be interested in his teachings.

Unless they were high.

Or playing a trick on him.

So we finish the majority of the 30 pack (3 guys) and head
into the show.

Street Sweeper has started.

If you don't know who Street Sweeper is, let me just say
one name:

Tom Morello.

The lead guitarist of both Rage against the Machine and
Audioslave and the guy behind Night Watchman is now
the lead guitarist for Street Sweeper.

The lead singer is Boots or Boo somebody or other.

He looked and acted like a cross between Lenny Kravitz
and Zach de la Rocha.

But why would anyone care about Street Sweeper?

They spread their message of peace through rock music.

Strange I know.

But they tried to get everyone to text them something
or other to get on a list to get news and updates about
how we can help save the world.

I just came to see Morello play.

And he did.

Very well.

So well in fact that the only thing I could decide then
and there was that the only other band I saw at Starlight
previously, The White Stripes, needed to have a guitar-off
with Tom Morello.

Jack White vs Tom Morello

That would be a guitar-off that would literally shake the sky
and make our faces melt off.

Watching Tom do his thing, sans hat, was a little weird.

But awe-inspiring.

And depressing at the same time.

I knew at that moment, same as when I watched the White
Stripes, that I would never be as good as Morello.

I would just pale in comparison.

The main event: NIN.

All night, we waited.

And waited.

Patiently trying to figure out who would be the backing band.

Would it be a reunion for the original NIN?

This was their last show so it was possible.

Would it be a consortium of weirdoes that he'd always
wanted to tour with and play with before he trailed off into
the horizon?

See above.

It was neither.

It was a standard backing band. It was his choice.

Fink on guitar, and two others who did a fantastic job but
never really heard of before.

He opened with Wave Goodbye, a new song (?) that pretty
much is summed up by the title.

That immediately broke into Terrible Lie and immediately
kicked the night's ass and made me happy as all hell
to be there.

He played songs like The Wretched.

March of the Pigs.

Physical.

Wish.

Songs from all over the place. Collector. Hurt. Burn.

Survivalism and Physical were my two favorites of the night.

Watching Trent, dressed in full Freddie Mercury-esque attire,
singing and basically barking into the microphone on
Survivalism was outstanding.

Physical made me laugh because he said here's one from
the beginning and everyone immediately thinks Closer.

Boom, Physical.

Not many people know that song from Broken but by
Veloci-jesus it's an amazing song that people should know.

And we got to see him.

We got to enjoy it.

I had some dick standing still, motionless in front of me.

That pissed me off.

Him and his goon buddies knew some of the songs, thank
the lord, but for the most part, they stood there.

They didn't sit though.

Two people in front of us, a couple loving on each other very
much, sat and stood only for the sake of seeing.

They didn't know the songs.

They didn't care to learn them.

They just looked at the weirdos as they sung along.

They were apparently there to see Jane's Addiction,
so whatever.

I was not.

I was there to see Trent and enjoy myself.

And I did.

Worst part of the night was the standing on a concrete
slope for 2 hours.

With a bad ankle.

And drizzle from time to time sprinkling down on us.

That was it though.

The night was capped by leaving the venue after NIN
was finally done (because who the hell cares
about Jane's Addiction) and finishing off the 30 pack.

Beautiful.

We did hear some of the Jane's songs, and they were just
what you would come to expect from him and them.

Trent and NIN were damn near perfection.

One of the best concerts I've ever seen (close to Tool at
Memorial Hall or APC at Municipal Auditorium).

Starlight is an amazing place to see a concert.

Just turn around and look at all the people behind you
and then look at all the people in front of you.

It's amazing.

It's absurd.

It's amazing.

Trent played a lot more guitar/piano/keyboard
than I expected.

After seeing Tool 3 times in my life, you get used to
Maynard picking up the guitar for half a song.

Trent had the guitar attached to him quite often.

It was real showmanship.

It was good to be a part of this, especially if it's one
of the last he does.

But nothing merch came home with me.

I'm not about to spend 40-75 dollars for a shirt/sweatshirt
I can buy for 10 online. I'm sorry.

And Starlight?

Get your head out of your ass.

Having one merch tent for a GIANT venue seems completely
ridiculous to me.

The two shows I've seen there have had lines longer than
the ones to see the Star Wars movies in theater just to get
to the front of the line and NOT buy a shirt for 40 dollars.

Ridiculous.

Aren't you jealous?

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 111

2009-06-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm back with the Apocalypse this time. And it's a doozy.

Why are we, as human beings, so interested in endings? So interested in how things transpire and what comes next?

Is it our voyeuristic lifestyle? One dominated by reality TV, TMZ, gossip rags and Perez Hilton pointing their fingers at people and mocking them while placing them firmly in the limelight where they want to be?

Is it our religious background as a country, one in which an entire book was written about the end of days?

Or is it something far worse? Far more menacing?

We'll see.

Terminator Salvation comes out today. We've all seen the previews. We all know it's about the apocalypse and the war versus the machines. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.

It follows the tradition of so many post-apocalyptic movies that we're just going through the motions at this point (and I haven't even seen the damn thing).

Blade Runner
Escape from New York
Escape from L.A.
Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Land of the Dead, etc etc
The Day After
The Day After Tomorrow
Friday after Next
I am Legend
The Omega Man
I am Legend
I am Omega
The Aliens franchise
Mad Max and the sequels
The Matrix films

You get the picture. There are a lot and that's barely scratching the surface. BARELY.

What is so astoundingly interesting about apocalypse movies that we're always looking to tell the story of what happens at the end of the world or what happens after the end of the world?

It's us.

Look at the line-up of television programming that's coming up. One very disgusting show will start this summer and will be the bane of television watching forever. Hopefully it will get cancelled in record time, but I doubt it.

I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. Or whatever the hell it's called.

So called celebritards like the guy who looks and acts like a girl from American Idol, the idiots from the Hills, and countless other nonlebrities are in the show and we the viewers get to choose what happens to them on the show.

I highly doubt that we get to pick if they fight Fireball, Buzzsaw or Dynamo, just like I'm sure there won't be a great host like Richard Dawson's Killian.

That's Running Man folks. Another post-apocalyptic (kinda) future film where people bet on reality gameshows and the people on them die if they lose.

I would watch this show in a heartbeat.

Every time my wife watches America's Next Top Model and someone gets "eliminated," I cross my fingers.

But it never happens.

And I know why I love the post-apocalypse and the apocalypse.

I'm a cynic.

I'm a very cruel and unusual person.

I look at the film the Mist and love the ending.

I love movies with real world endings. That's why of the three Terminator films, the third one had the best ending. By far.

That's why during Armageddon I rooted for the asteroid.

I'm a cynic.

I won't watch reality TV because they don't get "eliminated." They don't get fired out of a cannon. They just move on and get the rest of their 15 minutes of fame doing asshole TV like Dancing with the Stars or any of those TV game shows that really have no reason to exist.

But here we are, another apocalypse movie coming out, and there's damn sure another on the horizon (The Road, which will be discussed in much more depth at a later date).

So why does civilization care about the apocalypse? Why do we need to see how things end and how they restart?

It's a point of interest for all of us. We want to know how things end.

My wife goes to the end of the book first and reads the ending before she goes back and reads through the entire book.

It's strange I know, but whatever.

Being a Catholic school kid (14 years woo!), revelations and the apocalypse and the fire and brimstone was more interesting than he begat her who begat him who begat her who begat them who begat these guys who begat us and you and them and those and so on and so forth.

Still with me?

The apocalypse is a way of pushing our beliefs of the after-life into the open. Even though we should be aware that once you're dead, that's it.

You're dead.

Worm food.

Dirt.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

You get the picture. And yeah, I'm just a ball of happiness today. Obviously.

So what is it? Is it fantasy? Creating a world where even after we have the end of the world there is still a world left (which makes no sense)?

Or is it something more internal?

An internal worry that boils down to humanity and our self-esteem. Our self-worth. A need to be loved.

To be cherished.

To be important.

We don't want to think that once the end happens, that's it. No more fight. No more life. No more anything.

It's just over.

No salvation.

No happiness.

No golden gates and fluffy clouds.

We just cease to be.

No one really wants to believe that's the case.

They want to believe that once it's over, there's more to the story. That the old saying that there is always more to the story means there really is. That the ending is never final.

Never a period, always an ellipsis.

Never the end.

The end is the beginning.

But here we sit, looking toward the year 2012 and the Mayan calendar stating doom approaches, and what do we do?

We release another film about what happens after something massive is destroyed and something explosive occurs.

We are at war with machines.

We are at war with each other.

The world is over. But we're still fighting to save what little we have left.

The apocalypse should mean doom, ending, final, absolute.

But to us it's all just getting started.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 110

2009-06-15T19:21:00.002-07:00

All this plus a sunburn.

This week sure was a blast. And by blast, I mean a warp speed blast in the face. No wait, no I don't. I haven't and plan not to see Star Trek.

Call it hatred.

Call it whatever you want.

I call it ankle pain.

Ankle pain you say?

What do you mean by that?

Well, let's paint a picture shall we.

Months ago, or, a long time ago in an apartment somewhere in Overland Park, this writer had a pop happen in his ankle.

Nothing major as he pops his ankle similar to popping one's knuckles.

Daily.

Frequent.

And boy does it feel oh so good.

Well, this time it didn't.

It felt like bone rubbing against bone.

It felt like hot irons scalding the bottom of my brain.

It felt like something stabbed out of my leg and into the ground, got caught, and then toppled me face down into the mud.

In reality, what was it?

See, therein lies the problem.

And the beginning of this new chapter of Fear and Loathing.

The fun-loving narrator takes a trip to the doctor, not once, not twice, but thrice.

First trip: standard doctor. Not a bone/joint specialist. But standard medical practicioner.

Take my trip with a smile and a laugh.

X-Rays taken.

Nothing to show for it except a bill and some anti-inflammatory pills.

Bing, month after month pass. Pill jar empty.

Anti-inflammatory does nothing. We're back and worse than ever.

Get a call from the doc's office telling me x-rays show nothing tangible. Nothing of value. No arthritis that they can see.

No breaks. No cracks.

No bruising.

No nothing.

Nothing.

I chuckle. I wait for the punchline.

Nothing of value or substance can be found, so maybe you're just faking it.

That's what people think.

That's the response I always gather.

Move forward.

A little while passes (a couple of months actually as my wife lost her job and it just was a stupid time in the world to try and waste time going to the doctor, more on that later), and call the doctor's office again.

Same scenario, except instead of not finding anything, I called and basically told them it's worse. Do something.

No more jokes. No more hassle.

Fix this.

So I went to a bone and joint specialist (almost went to KCBJ just because the name is so funny) and spent money on two visits and an MRI.

More X-Rays.

More tests.

More bull.

Nothing.

The doctor kind of chuckled as he told me they have no idea what's wrong with me but they think they have some ideas.

I laughed.

Heartily.

Because this is what I expected. Every trip to the doctor is the same.

Exactly the same.

No clue what's wrong.

Sorry.

Tough break.

Deal with it.

More x-rays.

More shots.

Cortisone shot in my ankle.

That hurt like hell. I'm now in an ankle brace so my soccer days are behind me for the time being.

That and dancing.

And kung fu.

And anything where your ankle needs to be used, like walking and driving.

We'll see how that goes. All the x-rays and shots and test make me feel like I may turn into a super-human.

Or my skin might explode and I might turn into a giant green monster who smashes things.

That, or just die of radiation poisoning.

But what's next?

What's next the loyal reader asks with baited breath?

What's next is who the hell knows.

I deal with it. Went to my brother's graduation and got baked by the sun.

That was enjoyable.

And by enjoyable, I got the same sense of enjoyment as putting a giant hole in the side of my head and licking the insides of my lips if they were covered with nitroglycerin.

To say that these last few weeks have been anything but a joy would be an understatement.

But to each their own.

At least we've got the end of the world to look forward to. Or Angels and Demons.

Here's a thought, a brief non sequitor. While building a bookshelf, I had to alphabetize the books before I put them back on the shelf.

What would a Vs. movie between Angels in America and Angels and Demons be called?

Angels and Demons in America?

Angels vs Angels in Demons?

Does anyone still care?

Did anyone see Angels and Demons and think it needed more sub-plots about AIDs?

Or actual Angels?

Or just more Hooch?

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 109

2009-06-15T19:21:00.001-07:00

We're back. We're trying to make this a more often occurrence, so let's talk about Star Trek. Let's talk about my hatred of Star Trek and how it continues to grow.

It continues to grow as days go by and it has something to do with the new film.

I wouldn't go so far as to say hatred. I guess that's the wrong word. More a distaste. Boredom. Sheer who cares.

That's it. Who cares?

So as the movie starts rearing it's ugly head, getting closer and closer to it's release date, I can't shed the thought that I just don't care.

The trailers seem overwrought. Over-epic. Everything is so important and so completely breathtaking that I just step back and ask, who cares?

Just like the new Angels and Demons, who cares?

I'm in the mood for entertainment. I want to go and have fun. I don't want to go and see Simon Pegg on screen for 15 minutes. I want to see him as the star of the flick.

I don't want to see a spaceship ram another spaceship for 2 hours. I want to see people using their noggins and actually thinking of new ways to fight.

Seriously, didn't every episode of Star Trek essentially boil down to a big car crash, every single episode?

You know which Star Trek I liked?

Picard's crew. They were the badasses. They didn't take shit from nobody. They came in, used their heads, and actually did shit. And they fought the Borg. Not some pussy ass who passes as an alien because he has weird tattoos.

Today, that would pass as the guy downtown with the face tats who brings a video camera into movie theaters and no one says anything to him because he has face tats.

I'm not scared of Eric Bana in this film.

Eric Bana in Funny People however...

It seems like this is the summer of who cares. Hollyweird doesn't really have that many movies that are appealing to my instincts.

To my love.

The only major releases left that I care to see are The Hangover and Terminator Salvation. I think. I could be wrong. Those are the major releases I want to see. And here's why:

Hangover has Zach Galifinakis. Been a fan for a long time, have seen most movies he's been in (Bubble Boy, Below, the list goes on). And really appreciate the fact that he's in a major release coming out to major theaters that people will want to see.

He gives beard-growers everywhere someone to look up to without having to go and search the history books.

He's right alongside Bradley Cooper who I don't mind and Ed Helms who I downright like but there is one other thing I'm looking forward to in this movie. Besides Mike Tyson singing Phil Collins.

It's the Dan Band.

If you don't know, just find them on Youtube.

Now Terminator, it goes without saying. I have my reservations. It's directed by McG. A lot of people are going to see this to see if they can spot Bale's on-set meltdown.

Me? I grew up in the world of Terminator. Just like GI Joe and Transformers (both movies look like utter dogshit and I will get to those soon), Terminator 1 and 2 still sit on the shelf of badassness that came in my childhood and made me want to emulate these badass characters.

But then they made a sequel that had only one redeeming quality (the ending) and it made me want something to wash the taste out of my mouth (sadly, the TV show did not accomplish this).

The closest thing to a good Terminator we've had in a long time is the comics, and they've only been midway between good and shit. Some good. Some horrible. None completely insane.

But watching the trailers with the Day the Whole World Went Away by NIN playing in the background and Christian Bale with his Bat-rasp voice, it just gives me goosebumps. It excites me in ways that Star Trek bores me.

It makes me want to plop my ass in the seat.

Now besides Up which I will see and one other movie that I will talk about in a minute, nothing else appeals to me.

Could give less than half a shit about Angels and Demons. I've never read the book, will never read the book, saw the first movie and spent the whole time laughing in the theater, and I think it's safe to say we all know my thoughts on Catholicism, Christianity, and organized religion in general. Ten bucks says I guess the ending and villain without seeing it.

Harry Potter? Yawn. Just be over with already. You have no idea the sheer happiness that will flow from me once those movies are no longer being made and once Twilight is done too. It will just make me jump for joy.

Transformers 2: Electric Boogaloo. Can anyone tell me what the movie is about? Revenge of the Fallen? Who cares? All the preview wants to show us is robots punching and flipkicking other robots. Megan Fox's fox. Massively self-important shots of Shia Ledouche going away to college. I mean seriously, do we need those shots staring up at him as if this is the most important event in history? He's going to college. Who cares?

Then there's GI Joe. One movie that will find my hatred welling up at times while I try to reminisce about the good old days when Government Issue Joe was a real American Hero and not some stupid global terrorist unit.

Now I know, a movie about a Real American Hero wouldn't sell in China or North Korea. I understand that. The logistics make sense.

But why is GI Joe Team America? Is this the big-budget live-action remake? Because that's the sense I get when you show "Cobra" melting/destroying the Eiffel Tower and just out and out looking like bobble-headed morons. Oh, and the team wears NFL Superpro/Iron Man costumes? When did that happen?

They make them Six Million Dollar Men and Iron Men all in one instance? The only thing I can make of that is that's the only way to make us believe that Channing Tatum could ever actually fight terrorists, with the assistance of technology and assistance of special effects. He can't dance in this one folks.

The movie looks like dogshit. Pure and simple.

There are other movies that will gather my ire. I'm interested in Inglorious Basterds, not sure if I care much about it but I will see it. There is one movie however that interests me. One that I will be finding any way possible that I can.

Hell or high water, I will see Moon.

Starring Sam Rockwell. Kevin Spacey. And a whole hell of a lot of space all around one tiny spaceship and one man going nuts.

Low-budget sci-fi. Big brains. Big ideas. A man on a 3 year space jaunt and is being sent back to Earth.

This film interests me for a lot of reasons. Namely, it stars Sam Rockwell.

That should state everything you need to know, but Spacey is the computer, his only friend while on the moon, and the movie just makes me want to smile.

People don't make movies like this that often. It will probably be hard to find this movie in KC unless one of the smaller theaters gets it for one week's time.

But if you lined this up against the big budget idiocies due out this summer, I will be more inclined to see this than Transformers. Or GI Joe. Or Harry Potter.

And most certainly more than Star Trek.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 108

2009-06-15T19:20:00.001-07:00

He's back and this time it's personal.

Like Mr. Gooch, I find myself in something of a conundrum these days. Something of a quandary. I am going to see movies, and more and more, I'm liking the films that are just pure entertainment.

Things that aren't high art. Things that just push me to enjoy them. And I think I know when and where it started. I think I can pinpoint the exact moment where my need for entertainment and my need for film fun just jumped and formed together like two Ron Silvers at the end of Timecop.

It was my groomal shower.

Now this was a little while back. Back in 2007 even. So it's been about 2 years now. And I'm okay with that. I'm just coming to terms with it now.

The night of my groomal shower (devoted, of course, not to female bridal shower events like games and fun, but more to drinking and testosterone) involved pizza, beer, and action movies.

All in all, a glorious event would be had.

And while with a group of guys, you don't watch movies like the Fountain that make you think.

You watch Judge Dredd. Demolition Man. The Rambo movies. The Running Man.

You watch movies that are pure enjoyment and completely against any kind of message (and even the ones that think they are giving you a message are really just explosions and boobs).

I renewed my love affair with man movies, and I've not looked back since.

I don't even care.

I'm a film fan. A critic. Someone who can find the bad in just about any movie. A friend of mine challenged me to that recently, to watch a film I completely would never watch and just try to find some joy in it.

Let me tell you, that movie was Crank 2: High Voltage.

I had never seen all of Crank. I wasn't interested in it.

It seemed overwrought. Trying too hard. Just sheer nonsense and a real waste of time.

It wasn't anything special like say The Protector, anything by Stephen Chow, or Oldboy.

It was just an action movie.

So I go and see Crank 2. And I will never turn back again. I will never question Jason Statham's abilities again.

This movie has something for film fans to just sheer love and fall in love with and want to watch a million times over.

It has a Kaiju scene. It has sex. It has drugs. It has blood and gore and insane amounts of violence and it has Corey Haim.

That's right, the other Corey.

If you've ever seen a Troma film, you know the sheer joy (which is kinda becoming the mantra of this blog) that comes from those movies. They are horrible and stupid and just plain dumb all over, but if you've ever seen one, ever just pure enjoyed it, then you'll know.

You'll know from jump that this is the closest thing we'll ever get to a Troma film on screen.

It has Q from Next Generation as a swearing news reporter. It has guest stars galore like Dennis from It's Always Sunny. It has Lauren Holly. Bai Ling. Corey Haim. Maynard James Keenan and Danny Lohner. Chester Bennington. David Carradine.

You heard me. Maynard James Keenan and Danny Lohner.

They play a gay couple trying to make their dog obedient. And it's solid gold.

But Jason Statham is the big dog here. He's the reason to see the movie. He plays this so well that you just want him to keep making more and more movies like this. You want him to just go ape-crazy on film and be a part of these spectacular extravaganzas.

You want him to be a part of this something special every so often.

The movie is outstanding. Stupid, but just so much fun you can't help but laugh. And I dare you to look away.

I dare you.

Then comes Wolverine.

A movie that had a lot of things going against it, but in spite of it all, showed me exactly what a summer movie, and a lot of comic movies, should strive to do.

Entertain us.

Not be heady and annoying and try really hard to be important like Watchmen.

Just be the Rambo of the comic book universe and be enjoyable fun. Be a movie that makes no qualms about it. If it had been made in the 80s, it would have fit right in alongside Commando and Rambo and people would not have questioned a thing.

But because people go in expecting Dark Knight and come out getting Rambo 3, they get a little perturbed.

So it, as always, will boil down to choice.

Choose whether you go see a movie expecting anything or go in expecting nothing. Go in wanting to have a good time and you'll be happy.

Go in expecting Dark Knight and you'll get Watchmen.

Go in expecting Wanted and you'll get Iron Man.

All I'm saying is, movies are entertainment. They don't all have to be significant and tell something important about someone important.

They can just be.

Unless you're Star Trek, then you'll have to be the most important thing in the known universe.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park 107

2009-06-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

I need to get better. Jesus do I need to get better at posting on here.

Tax day, another in a long line of reasons why we can't have nice things.
Or can we?

This is my second tax day as a married man. And it's a weird feeling. Doing
my taxes really frustrates me as I'm an easily frustrated guy.

Small stuff gets to me.

But this is big stuff, this is taxes. This is money that our country seems
to need so badly that I should feel honored to assist them in paying back
debts.

But I don't.

No one is standing next to me cutting the heads off chickens to decide what
should happen for my tax break.

Though I wish life was more like South Park, that isn't very likely to ever
happen.

Now, because of the way my parents brought me up, taxes were completed
early this year. Just like last year and every year before that.

And before that.

Before that.

And so on and so forth.

Since I've been working since I was 14 years old, the last two years of my
life, the two married years, came with a little bit of extra-happiness.

I got money back.

I actually got money back.

The deductions helped.

But no kids. No mortgage. No massive expenses. Nothing really affecting my
credit score.

Though I do have the need to buy frivolous things, don't we all?

So this tax day came with a small glimmer of hope. Another check to assist
in my ongoing struggle to pay off my credit card and my school bills.

Just like millions of other people, I'm in debt.

We've talked about this before.

But tax day is seen as a general blight on society. Something that causes
people to freak out and see the world trying to take their money away and
treat them like heathens and bastards and general scum of the Earth.

When in reality, we should all be looking at tax day as just another day.
Another unfortunate day of life where something slightly different than the
norm happens.

Slightly different.

I mean, we all pay taxes on everything we buy, right? We don't live in New
Hampshire or Oregon, we live in Kansas and Missouri.

So we pay taxes.

On food.

Gas.

Cigarettes.

Beer.

Clothing and books and movies and everything else we purchase.

So we pay taxes. It's a normal thing for us.

But the sheer sense of earning and need outweighs this day because it's a
day filled with greed and wanting. It's a day where people look at the big
brother government as taking their "hard-earned" funds away and putting it
toward things they don't agree with.

Like a trillion dollar deficit. Or building schools. Bridges. Green
initiatives.

You know, things that might help save the world.

So because the idea of paying a chunk of taxes at once to your government
is so disgusting, people are throwing Tea Parties.

That's right, Tea Party.

Just like the Boston Tea Party way back during the Revolutionary War which
protested big brother Britain and their power over the colonies, people are
using these Tea Parties as a way to rebel against paying taxes.

In an absolutely stupid way.

I'm not a fan of government. I'm sure everyone knows who I voted for. It's
not hard. I don't believe in big spending, but I also believe in freedom.

Freedom to assemble. Freedom of choice. Freedom of speech.

Basic freedoms that we all deserve no matter how stupidly we decide to
display them.

And displaying our freedoms as a tea party against taxes just seems so
completely idiotic that it makes no sense to me at all.

Why?

Most people who will take part in these tea parties are people who voted
for McCain. People who agree that the world needs change and policies and
believe that fixing the US will take time and effort but they also think
that things were generally okay.

They just don't want to fix things if it costs money. Especially their own.

These are the people that are easily swept up in the next big craze or fad.
People that hate others who are brainwashed but are just as easily
brainwashed on their own end.

They don't think for themselves.

They look around the world and see what's trendy and empathize with that
and then steal it for themselves.

Like Tea Parties.

These are people who look at the last 8 years as progress. Moving forward.
Making the world a better place.

Yet "progress" to them entails protesting in a way that harkens back to the
1700s when slavery was no big deal and when owning land meant killing your
neighbors and taking the land for yourself.

You know, good old American progress.

These people believe that the American system should stay free market and
should stay the course. Stay the way it was and that will eventually right
everything and everyone out in the end.

They apparently haven't seen the "prosperity" that this thinking has
afforded the world.

They apparently don't have friends and family who have lost their jobs and
have had to stay with other family members after losing everything they
own.

Like I said, good old American progress.

Care about yourself first and your neighbor second.

Really goes to show how far we've made it these last 200 years, huh? Ever
since that first Tea Party.

I'm not for big government spending, I just want things to get better.

I don't think staying the course of the last 8 years would have been a good
idea. I also don't think judging our present in a way that uses the past to
create some form of protest just seems utterly ridiculous.

What's next?

People joining this protest will demand that the world go back to the
politics of the 18th Century. So I'll be allowed to own you. You'll be
allowed to shoot me for my land. And we can all marry our cousins.

Or...

We can actually move forward into the future and surpass this old way of
thinking.

This old way of getting things accomplished or letting things happen as
they have to just seems to be so completely ridiculous.

But you go right ahead and have yourself a tea party. A tea party.

Seriously? No wine? No nothing? Just a tea party?

And the best part is, these people believe that this protest will
accomplish something.

It will.

Anyone who goes and doesn't pay their taxes because they think they are
doing the work necessary to them to make a statement will probably end up
in jail, or at least, with legal action or a nice severe audit taken
against them.

Just look at Method Man. Wesley Snipes. And all the millions of people who
don't pay taxes because they forgot.

But you go ahead and have your tea party. See if it accomplishes anything
at all.

Or you can make a choice and be an adult. See how that works out.

But it's up to you. As always, the choice is yours to make. Let's see how
this works out.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 101-106

2009-04-06T17:24:00.000-07:00

Part 101

First, on this the 101st version of Fear and Loathing, an experiment. I'm back, and what follows is the ravings of a slightly madder than mad madman. But the experiment is this:

Do other people write blogs when I publish them on the site? Let's see, shall we?

I went to Mars for a second but I'm back now and I've got t-shirts for everybody.

It's been a weird last couple of days.

A really weird couple of days and the last few weeks have just flown by.

And we're jumping headfirst into the new Fear and Loathing with a look at what this gonzo writer has been up to.

And it's all a little crazy and will seem like name-dropping, but for Velocijesus's sake, it's all true.

This time.

Alright, so the plane.

We'll talk about the plane ride first.

MCI to Denver. What a weird flight.

Made only more weird by the trip back. Getting onto Frontier airlines and sitting on the plane, watching the little TV previews they play all the way to Denver, I could tell you each and every one.

The Osbournes Reloaded

American Idol

Dhani Tackles the Globe

My Boys

Crocs (yes, the shoes)

Jimmy's in Denver

Madagascar 2

Doubt

Yes Man

And there was one other show on a constant loop that I can't remember but has been burnt into my brain.

If I see another clip for it,I'll probably scoop my eyes out with a sponge.

I wanted to watch Dhani's show, but when I turned it on, it was so stuck in the back of my brain that I couldn't enjoy it.

But anyway, TVs in the front of my seat: $6.00.

Did not buy. Will not pay for tv anymore than I already do.

The flight itself was fine. Got into Denver sometime after 8 pm mountain time and had to wait until about 930 pm.

Denver's airport is fairly boring.

There's a couple of stores like any other, but it's no Detroit or Minneapolis.

The people waiting for the flight were another measure of weirdness.

People waiting from all walks of life going all different directions in all shapes and sizes.

But the fact that I was going to LAX definitely put a spin on the type of people going on the same plane as me.

Bottle blondes. Bleached skin.

Too dark in the winter months to actually be considered their normal skin tone.

Those people filled the plane.

Vegans. Parents. Athletes. Jocks. Punks. Goths.

Honestly, the plane was full.

The only reason I know the kid next to me was anti-establishment, punk vegan is because he told me. And his hair was really greasy.

That was on the way to LAX.

Got there at 1130 pm pacific time.

And since my flight from KC left at about 6 pm central time, that put me at a trip time of about 7 hours.

Kill me now.

So Thursday night was a bust. Friday night however, is where the namedropping begins.

I was living in a beach house in Santa Monica from Thursday through Sunday.

I never wanted to leave.

I want to go back right now.

But Friday as a day was strange.

Friday as a day was very weird.

It started like every other day.

I woke too early.

Children playing outside my window. Beeping. Buzzing. The pledge of allegiance coming from a loudspeaker who knows where playing through the cracked window in the beachhouse. I seem to be in hell.

Groggy.

Dying slowly.

A little bit sicker than the day before. And from there, it turned to sheer boredom.

Tapping my foot. Playing on my cell phone. No television in the home because the cable was busted. Now I long for those TV previews. Bring back the tiny Osbournes. Bring back Dhani. I long for them now.

Met some great people, some from Los Angeles, some from Bowling Green, KY, and more.

Hello to Missy, Jason, Jon, and Colin, in no particular order, as well as Marge, Harmony, LJ, and Dayna.

Great group of people who spent way too much time fussing over me than they should have.

But hey, apparently I'm famous.

I'm not really famous, just overloaded with self-worth. But the question is, aren't we all? Aren't we all a little overbloated, thinking we're the best when in reality it just happens that we're more famous than the people usually around them?

What position would I have taken if an unknown writer who is an unknown entity was in the same beachhouse as me but was here for a specific purpose? Would I be helpful and think the world of him, or aloof?

I may never have the chance to find out.

Had a late lunch meeting with a director who is joining a group of us as a producer.

Make sense?It does in my still feverish brain.

His name is Brian and he's working on his first feature film. A real tear-jerker, touching coming of age story with monsters in it.

Immediately, I dig this guy. Monsters in a coming of age story really pulls my heartstrings. Really gets me inside. Really pulls at me and says, know this person.

He's name-dropping people like Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert, Bruce Campbell, and John Landis as he worked on Evil Dead 2 for the stunt effects and he's personal friends with John Landis.

Even more so, I like this guy.

He lists people to be in his movie in cameo forms and he talks about going to Forrest Ackerman's funeral and meeting people like Guillermo Del Toro.

Again, name-dropping.

Sadly, I met none of these people. But I met a guy who met them.

Following meeting Brian, we went to a boat show. In Marina Del Ray in California.

So I was completely out of place, but loved it. Loved looking at these people waiting in line to talk to boat salespeople as I walked right past them onto half a million dollar boats.

Boats nicer than my apartment.

I mean, seriously?

What the hell kind of day is that?

I spent the earlier part of the day making fun of terrible surfers in Santa Monica on the pier, looking out at the ocean, and I spent the late afternoon on damn near million dollar boats.

Seeing places like Ralph's, In n Out Burger, and all these places where people have filmed bits in movies or gone to in certain films like the Big Lebowski and Memento was crazy.

Being there, I still don't believe it happened.

Now comes the tricky part.

So the reason I was out in Santa Monica was for a film festival.

I was going to be on two panels, both for a cartoon/comic series that I've been working on since October.

You wouldn't know this, because I've not talked about it to date.

But we drove into West Hollywood on Friday night to go to Shin, a Korean BBQ joint co-owned by Gerard Butler. Sadly, he wasn't there.

But I did get to meet people like Zoe Bell, the incredible actress/stuntwoman from Death Proof, Kill Bill, Lost, Crank, and a number of other films, and she is a doll.

Absolutely a kick ass woman and a cool chick to boot. She'll drink with you one second, tell amazing stories about people and stunts she performed, and make fun of herself for being one of the quickest killed person in Lost history.

Truly a cool chick.

Met TJ Storm, another stunt actor who was in Punisher War Zone and the recent Resident Evil 5 as a voice actor/character actor. Another awesome guy.

His stories didn't rival Zoe's, nor is he as good-looking. But just meeting the guy and being in his presence was crazy.

Danced the night away at Shin, shaking hands, taking photos, and just being a ham.

Being a part of something other than my little world is used to.

Met Mark Ryan, voice actor and stage actor, among other things, from The Prestige and the Transformers movies.

Met Mike Grell, comic writer/artist.

Met Johnathan Schaech from That Thing You Do.

Met the guys who directed Crank.

Met people from Disney.

Met models.

Met investors.

Shook hands and danced.

And that's just Friday night...

******************************

Part 102

Now back, and yes, the experiment worked. Not that I have a big head, but the proof is in the pudding, right?

So let's continue our look at my weekend that one glorious weekend, when Fear and Loathing began it's world-wide takeover, which may have just increased a little more and forced me to take a closer look at things.

But here we go.

Saturday started like every other day. Again. Woke too early on a lumpy uncomfortable bed. Back spasm. Kids playing. Waves crashing. Birds cawwing.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yes it sucked that I was woke up early, but I needed to be. I had a busy day planned.

A busy day at the film festival.

Ahh. Say it with me now. The air in California smells different than the air in Kansas. Completely different.

But here we are, in the car, on the way to the film festival, and my stomach is in knots.

What do I say?

What should I not say?

What do I have to offer that these other people don't?

I was then on two panels. Two. Panels. In front of an audience.

My head was in the clouds. I couldn't believe it and I still fully don't believe it. Like a fever dream, as I said.

I sat on stage as the trailer played behind me, a microphone in my hand, a spotlight on my face, and there it was.

Clapping.

Laughter.

Question and answer session regarding the trailer.

As always, I'm being a little mysterious but only for the sake of the property. The first panel was all about the property I'm working on, and the discussion went well.

My voice being gone didn't stop me. I was all about it and ready to fly.

The first panel went off without a hitch and we screened the trailer twice. It was so loud that it boomed and nearly knocked me off the stage. But there it was. My claim to fame in front of an audience.

It leaves a weird feeling in your mouth.

But the next one, the second panel, is the one that I still can't believe happened. I'll start name-dropping here in a second.

Take a deep breath. Rub your chin. Realize that this is your life now. And it is very strange.

I sat on the stage for a second panel, and was flanked by the following people.

Mark Ryan. Steve Niles. Mike Grell. And one of my cohorts on our property.

Mark Ryan will be best known as the voice actor of Bumblebee from both Transformers movies. He was also in a show called Robin of Sherwood as well as in the Prestige.

Great dude. Great stories about Michael Bay and Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. He was a really cool guy with a great accent and killer stories about anything and everything.

Mike Grell is the creator of Jon Sable, Freelance, an independent comic character, as well as the writer/artist of Warlord and Green Arrow the Longbow Hunters, some of the best comics in the 80s and definitely one of the best writers in Green Arrow history.

Also a great guy. He and Mark are working on a project together that I got to see some pre-stuff for. It's called Pilgrim and is starting as a comic and then will probably be a cartoon or movie. Who knows really.

Steve Niles was the kicker. It was like a dream meeting this guy. He's a comic writer who created 30 Days of Night, classic comic, awesome movie. And he sat right next to me.

Our panel was called Comics and the Impact on Film, and this young writer was sitting next to these guys and talking about comics and films based on comics.

We got questions that ran the gamut. Questions about favorite comics to movie translations. Worst translations.

Questions regarding Niles' time working on the 30 Days of Night movie.

He dropped hints about the sequel and talked about working with Sam Raimi and the cast of the film and how he was looking forward to working on the sequel.

And then the bombshell question: we discussed Watchmen.

Niles and I talked about the differences between the comic and the film and how it was an unfilmable property for so long which made Snyder tiptoe around that and make a commercial film.

We discussed how that could be a problem for some but how making this film was difficult regarding whoever it was and every single person would not be happy with the end product.

It was strange to sit next to one of your writing heroes and talk about one of your favorite graphic novels of all time in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better than to believe me as some kind of authority on things.

You fake it til you make it.

Anyway, so Saturday was an insane day. Following this, a lot of photos, handshaking, autograph signing, and then party party party.

Watched a few short films.

Talked with more directors and producers.

Met other writers.

Glad-handed my way into some form of notoriety.

It was strange. It was the basis for all things Fear and Loathing.

I wasn't sure what would happen next, and a lot of it is still a blur and just feverish weirdness, but it's all strange.

I'm still coming down off the cloud obviously.

There are now talks to take me to San Diego for the big event of the year. The biggest pop culture, movie, and comic event this side of the Oscars in San Diego, Comic-Con.

So that should be news in the next few.

My trip to California was crazy. Absolutely bonkers. I can't believe it and I still won't believe it until everything is said and done.

But that was Saturday.

It finished the day with a walk on the beach, another couple of meetings, and then a roof party in Beverly Hills.

All a little weird and strange to handle.

But I'm here.

Handling it as well as I can.

And that's life.

Sunday was a travel day, and now I'm back, firmly placed in the real world, dealing with real world problems and trying to make something out of nothing.

Fear and Loathing is back. Better than ever?

We'll see. This time though, the news will be coming. The site will be finalized and everything will be ready to go.

Life is on. It's going to get weirder by the second.

*****************************

Part 103

The future was wide open.

And then we all started losing our jobs.

I talked about being in California a few weeks back. I gloated beyond belief about how amazing it was. I talked about things that I saw that I loved but I never mentioned those things that weren't especially grand.

The things that were a little seedy and sad.

Similar things that I've seen in Kansas City and Detroit.

Soup kitchen lines as long as the eye can see.

I know 13 people, in the last year, who have lost their jobs. Their only source of income at the time. Now gone. Left to their own machinations and left in a world that has no place for them in the job markets at this time.

Bigger companies, like Garmin, cutting jobs left and right. Cutting benefits. Cutting 401K matches and cutting everything down to bare bones and brass tacks.

We're on the Titanic and we're rearranging deck chairs.

My company has a job freeze and is cutting costs, just like every other company out there.

So it's left me wondering, what is going to happen?

Which we will get to.

But every day, you see news stories on CNN, MSNBC, Fox even, talking about the shambles that our country is in. But you won't necessarily feel it unless you're living it or know someone who is.

My wife lost her job. Two of my best friends lost their jobs. My brother. A couple more friends and family members. Down the line.

People are losing their jobs every minute of every day and some of us are holding on for dear life, waiting for the bottom to drop out.

And is that any way to live?

Not really.

But again, I'm not talking from any more experience than being the guy with the shoulder to cry on and the hope to share. The idea to give help to those who need it.

We've all been there.

When I was in Detroit for work, we traveled through the city, and we passed by 2 churches, specifically, that were filled with people, waiting in line, for soup, for bread, for whatever meal they could get.

In suits. In sweats. In whatever they had on that day.

I've volunteered in the past at food kitchens, and you get used to a certain look from people there getting food. But it was strange to see people in nice suits standing next to people who looked homeless and seeing them interact, even briefly.

People everywhere need jobs. Need food. Need homes.

When I was in California, on the beach, I walked by homeless people. Scores of them on the pier fishing. With everything they owned in bags and stacked up next to them.

Fishing for their meals.

I saw homes that were in disarray as they had for sale signs that appeared to have been there for a very long time.

I saw RVs that appeared to have been sitting in the same spot for weeks.

I saw people looking down their noses at others just because they needed a bite to eat.

The world is a strange place right now, a scary place, a place that needs change. And certain people in the news, the Glenn Becks, the Bill O'Reillys, the Ann Coulters, are already calling for the head of Barack Obama for the mistakes he has "made" and for not fixing things like he promised.

The guy has been in office just about 3 months and we're already calling it quits?

That's the state of the United States, right there. That's the reason Fear and Loathing exists.

Each of us is left to our own machinations because that is what we choose, and then when we suffer some form of punishment or the world starts to change in ways we don't agree with, we start to change our minds and place blame on others.

When my wife lost her job, it was torture. But she found a new one quickly. That's what we call a small miracle.

A few of my friends have been out of jobs since November of last year. Since October. Since July. And no bites.

Some are being picky about the opportunities they look for, but being in a position where I have a job that I don't necessarily see myself doing for the rest of my life, I can't fault them for trying to find something they actually want to do.

But here we are, a country on the brink of total annihilation, and we are pointing fingers at each other. Still. We point fingers and place blame on everyone around us for the sake of who knows what.

And here we are, nothing's changed. Nothing's gotten better.

Gas prices are going up.

Floods might hit Minnesota.

We might get snow in April.

Job losses are at an all-time high once a week.

The Auto industry is in shambles.

And we are placing blame elsewhere.

When will we, as a country, learn? When will we as a people decide that enough is enough and place the blame squarely where it belongs, on our own shoulders?

I know that if I were to lose my job, it would be a terrible thing. But I wouldn't point fingers. I wouldn't blame you or yours for my misfortune.

That's the same reason why I'm not buying a house right now or having children. Everyone says now is the best time now is the best time now is the best time to buy a house.

Is it?

Or is it the worst time because any single one of us could lose our jobs tomorrow?

It's a bleak viewpoint, but it's all I've got.

So what's going to happen? What will happen if we continue down this path of self-destruction and no control?

Will we lose everything we've ever fought for or loved?

We could.

Will we pay better attention to the way we spend our money?

We should.

Will we think before we go out and buy that new car or home that we can't afford?

I'd like to think so.

But right now, to me, the world looks poised for self-destruction. Corruption is running rampant. Companies like AIG pay off their big heads of company after getting a corporate bailout.

Other companies aren't being enforced, at least at the time of this writing, into spending the money on the necessary things.

And people still ask the same questions.

So what can we do? As a society, what can you and I do?

We can fix our own lives. Live simply. Don't request the big bucks or seek out the best and brightest things.

Live as you need to live, not as you want to live.

You don't need 250 million dollars to play baseball if you love the game. I'd play it for the salary I make where I am now.

You don't need to cheat to hit more home runs. You just practice more.

You don't need to give money to the people who got you into this mess in the first place. Let them help themselves.

And that's the best lesson to learn.

We might all be in this together, but fix your own home first. Fix your own problems. Don't sell yourself short to help everyone else, but look in your own backyard first.

That's another problem that faces our country. The get-rich quick schemes. The reality television epidemic that pushes a mom to get impregnated with 8 babies just so she can be on TV.

The epidemic that makes us all feel like spending money to have a paparrazi follow us around for a day.

Because people like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Amy Winehouse are who we should be looking to for our inspiration and the ways we should live our lives.

It's a strange world out there.

But what can you do to fix it for yourself?

It's a choice. Like always. Do you choose self-destruction, follow down a path of corruption, greed, self-worth, and allow your demons to destroy you? Or do you choose the lighter path, helping yourself, paying attention to your money and expenses, and live more simply for today?

What do you choose?

****************************************

Part 104

Picture yourself 5 years from now. Where do you see yourself?

Now think back 5 years ago and think about where you saw yourself being today?

Is it the same place?

Did it change in any way?

Mine sure didn't.

I spent the crux of this weekend taking care of other things. Other people. Other events. I spent a large chunk of it at the comic convention, knocking elbows with people more famous than me in the comics world. Shaking hands. Giving out business cards.

Doing the honest work of a man trying to sell himself.

Trying to sell his wares to people who are there to smile and laugh with their adoring fans.

Each and every one of the people at the con probably had something to sell. Something to say. Some big, bright idea that they were looking to tell people about as the best idea the world has ever heard of.

And here I am, just another person doing that exact same thing.

Ugh.

Back to my initial thought. Look back 5 years. What did you see yourself doing at this exact moment?

Me? I saw myself in two very distinct ways.

The first thing I saw, 5 years ago, thinking ahead 5 years, was nothing.

Nothing at all.

I didn't plan on living to 25. I didn't plan on living to 21. I planned on being out of the world and out of the misery that I caused to so many others by the time that I was 21.

I expected that the world wouldn't know my name, whether infamous or famous, I didn't expect anyone to be reading a blog that I was writing.

The other way I saw myself, when I thought slightly more positively, was doing something better. Doing something that involved creativity.

I saw myself writing for a living and making a living at it without having to fight.

Again, in a much more positive light.

But here I am, writing as an outlet, still, to this day, and nothing is what it should be.

We all have had things in our lives that haven't gone our ways. So what? I'm no different from anyone, as I said.

But think back 5 years ago and think about where you saw yourself today, on this day, and think about how strange it is to be in this exact spot, thinking about another 5 year plan.

Where do I plan to be when I'm 30?

I hope that I'm in a better place. I hope that I have made a better life for the people around me so that they can live freely and happily and not have to worry about money or anything of that nature.

I hope that I've made a name for myself in my chosen profession.

But in reality, I'll probably be in the exact same spot, doing the exact same thing, at the exact same time.

And how depressing is that?

As always, I suppose it could be worse. I could be out of a job like so many others, and if the world continues down the path it's on now, all of us could be out of jobs by 5 years from now.

So I shouldn't complain.

I've still got my health, and I've still got the one overriding quality of this blog that has been an ongoing part of everything I've written about.

Choice.

I've got the ability to make a choice. To choose what I plan to do. To choose which path I decide to take and which path I follow.

I've got the ability to make that choice and stick with it, or find a new choice and jump to that.

There are so many choices in front of us daily that who knows? Tomorrow could be a completely different world from today.

For better or worse.

But it's all about fear. It's all about not knowing what to expect and forcing ourselves into some pre-ordained path that will keep us centered.

On a goal.

On a path.

Why? Why do we follow these paths?

I once talked about not believing in hope but I talk about it often. It's a word. That's all it is.

It doesn't choose which way my life goes. I choose it. I pick the path.

And I follow that path.

For better or worse.

So again, it boils all down to choice.

I can look back 5 years ago and be sad for the person that thought they wouldn't be here today, writing this, or I can be excited by the prospects, by the things I would have missed had I not been here.

It can open up new things for me. New possibilities. It can allow me to grow.

Or it can turn me into a wallowing, self-deprecating jackass who doesn't see the small good things in front of him.

Life is possibilities. Countless. Infinite. There are so many ways that tomorrow can go differently from today and just be off the wall insanity. There are so many different things I can do in the morning or at night before I attempt to fall asleep that can change the whole outlook on tomorrow.

It just depends on what I decide to do.

So what do you decide?

In 5 years, where will you be? And will you be happy about it?

Make the change now. You'll get a second chance, but don't let it come too late.

I feel like a self-help blog in a really strange way. Is that what Fear and Loathing has become?

A way for me to tell people things that they didn't ask but I sure think they should hear?

That's what it always was, I suppose, but in reality, what is this blog now?

Hmm. Choice. You have the choice to make it whatever you want. Or you can sit there and do nothing. Change nothing. Do nothing to fix the ways of your world and just be.

What do you choose?

***************************************

Part 105

This is why we can't have nice things. The stupid ways of the stupid world strike again.

So last night, a couple friends and I were downtown at Barnes and Noble. In the hub of the city. Whatever. That's not the issue.

If we want to get technical, the Plaza. The Country Club Plaza. You all know where it is.

We were down there to meet a local artist to discuss a new pitch we're working on. It's gonna be a good one. And we'll discuss it once things get to a place of things being centralized and near completion.

So we went to the cafe and sat and had our meeting, and to alleviate stress and nerves, my friend and I both were going to get coffee.

Not the smartest of ideas when you're having trouble sleeping and when you limit your caffeine intake, but still, coffee.

My friend suggested using his gift card that he'd had since Christmas to get rid of it as he'd been trying for months to do that.

A Starbucks giftcard.

When presented, immediately the "cafe baron" or whatever the hell they call themselves declined the card saying they don't accept Starbucks giftcards as they aren't technically a Starbucks.

Yet they sell Starbucks coffee.

And I've used Starbucks cards there before in the past.

So I was stumped. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't understand the idea that using a Starbucks giftcard was not allowed at a Starbucks coffeeplace, just because it's in a bookstore in the middle of the city.

And the guy then asked if I had a Barnes and Noble card, which I immediately told him no.

It's lead me to believe and to understand more of this idea. The idea that even in the face of a world on the brink of destruction, corporate greed is still there.

The world teeters and places like Barnes and Noble charge you for coffee from Starbucks, charge you Starbucks amounts and serve you Starbucks coffee, and then you can only use cash or charge.

Not only that, but their supposed "benefits" of having a Barnes and Noble card amounts to paying them $25 a month or year or whatever to allow yourself 30-40% off a book, movie, or CD that was marked up 50% of msrp.

Where do they get off? And where does it stop?

I'm not the biggest fan of global book chains like Barnes and Noble or Borders, I much rather would buy books from Amazon and save the hassle (as I'm sure each and every one of you agree with).

But at the very least, Borders offers things to the people that buy their books. Free membership. Used to be free money back and free coupons all the time. Half-off sales. A certain percentage extra off.

Plus, the people just seem genuinely nicer there.

And they never lay claim to the idea that they sell Starbucks coffee but you can't use your Starbucks giftcard there.

So pissed off by this.

But life goes on. And there are much more important things to rail about today.

Fear and Loathing this past weekend went to the local Comic convention, which I mentioned previously. Met a lot of really great comic creators from the area and just bumped elbows with people and passed around my business card.

It was glorious. It was a little maddening to think that this is one of the many things I'd like to be doing but just don't have the ability to do currently.

It's fine.

One of my comic creator friends, Jai Nitz, who writes for DC Comics, I got to see again. He's one I see every so often but getting to talk to him and just shoot the breeze is always a pleasure.

Chris Samnee, a St. Louis based DC comics artist, is another guy who I dig, and funnily enough, he's one of those people that I spent most of my time talking with.

I guess I pigeonholed myself.

Travis Fox was there, Trevan was there (not really selling things, but I'm pretty sure I saw him there), Matt Fraction, Jason Aaron, Phil Hester, and just tons of people from the comics world.

It was fun.

As it always is.

It's gotten leaps and bounds better, the Planet Comic-Con, in the last few years. Back when it started, I was a lot younger and it was a lot more sparse and had a lot fewer guests.

Now it's just packed to the gills.

Which brings me to my next point. Hawking works.

Now, the thing that I'm going to be showing you is the first published comic work of a close friend of mine. CW Cooke. It's a book called RX Tales, from a very small publishing company in NYC, and it's his first ever thing.

I was told to show everybody the link and let them make a decision whether to buy it or not.

I do know that he mentioned he would sign it if you wanted.

He has a 4 page story published in it and he's happy as all hell to get it out there, so this week there isn't much Fear and Loathing he's doing, he's just brimming in happiness.

The bastard.

Link: http://www.indyplanet.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=1844

If that link doesn't work, google RX Tales or google Indy Planet and then search for RX Tales and that should take you right there.

3 bucks, then add shipping, for a piece of history? You can't go wrong.

That's it for me today everybody. Keep up the fear and loathing and keep making choices. Keep living in reality and don't let the world slap you in the face.

It's time to be the or.

*************************************

Part 106

And this continues to be why we can't have nice things. A little thing called Lent and not being able to eat meat on Friday.

Now, once upon a time in the land called Catholicism, eating meat was a sin on par with murder, adultery, and cheating on your taxes.

You eat meat, you go to hell. No questions asked.

It was every Friday for most people who grew up in Catholic families in the earlier parts of the first half of this century, and hell, probably on through today for some families.

Side-note: do people still consider themselves roman catholics? Or just plain catholics?

Is that like Coke Classic vs New Coke?

Back to the main crux.

Thou shalt not eat meat on Friday or thou shalt be cast off straight to the deepest reaches of hell as thy mouth has tasted the spoils of the foul beast Lucifer.

Now, come on. No meat on Friday? Punishable by death and scorching in hell for the rest of eternity?

What the hell is wrong with people?

So my dad, one of the people who grew up with no meat on Fridays in a Roman Catholic household, tells me this, and all I can think is man do I want a really big cheeseburger right now.

Not because I'm a heathen.

Even though I am.

But because it's stupid.

To crib from George Carlin, slightly, shouldn't a all-seeing being who is taking care of a universe care about more important things than my eating meat? On Friday?

It makes no sense to me.

The argument comes about because of a few sources. My wife's work, which shall remain nameless, was going to have a party in order of opening day at The K.

Big deal. Big hoopla. Woo.

That big day was going to celebrate the things everybody loves about the K (minus beer and that lemonade lemonade lemonade guy).

Hot dogs. Peanuts. Baseball attire. The works.

And they were celebrating it on April 10th, the actual opening day at the K.

But because April 10th is on Good Friday this year, those people celebrating lent decided to go up in arms about it, chastising those people who wanted to take part and have a good time and eat hot dogs (which, in my own recollection, contain only miniscule traces of real meat anyway), and berated them with thoughts and feelings of betraying their religion and not being fair to all people by having it that day.

So instead her work changed the day to April 9th, which is not opening day at the K and is, in reality, Passover, another religious holiday for Judaism, which is just another one of those big religions in the world today.

But no one balked at that.

Why?

Because apparently there aren't that many people who follow the Jewish religion where she works, or they don't amount to the right number of people trying to put on a mask of actually following their religion once or twice a year.

You know, like most Catholics do.

So the opening day at the K celebration at my wife's workplace happens on Passover, which again, I'm all but sure doesn't allow meat to be eaten that day.

And it brings a lot of things full circle for me right now.

There are certain people in the world, a lot of whom are Catholics, that don't bother me at all. I have good friends that are die-hard Catholics, prescribe to all the crazy stuff that 14 years of Catholic school beats out of you as you grow up.

And I love these people.

But I know people that are Catholics that aren't normal. They're the Catholics that beat the sense of entitlement that comes with being a Catholic into you. They show you how great they are, how much they love God, and they make arguments about how your life should be centered more in the teachings of Jesus if you ever want to see paradise after life.

People who will turn on a brother or a sister who wants to get married to their partner and wants their state and the whole world to recognize their love as a true and honest marriage.

People who butt into every argument being made because a friend is going through a rough time with a person who lied, wholeheartedly, to him and ruined his life. They make arguments that God wants these people to stay together and marriage is a union that should never be broken.

People who ask questions, pointed questions, that make people feel like less of believers.

People who took the religion and bastardized it and made it into something grotesque, something they can wear as a shield and hide behind because they are too weak to realize that they are just terrible human beings who like making people feel worse.

I'm not a Catholic. I'm not religious in any sense.

But I'm not deriding you for your religious beliefs. Nor will I ever do that.

I may argue with you about them. Try to make you see my side, but it's not my mission in life to destroy your sense of religion, your sense of belonging to a religion and a way of life.

What I am saying is this: how ridiculous is it to think that you can't allow people to just be? Everyone.

Murderers. Tax cheaters. You. Me. Slackers. Punks. Everybody.

Doesn't the religion teach us to see everyone the same way? Love each other as we love ourselves?

Treat each other as we would like to be treated?

Isn't that the point?

I know that I've talked about this before. I know that I will talk about it again.

But why? Why do I have to? Why do I know that sooner rather than later something else will present itself that will bug me to no end and in my eyes will need to be discussed?

Because I've been down this road a million times. And I will be down it another million or more.

Why can't the people observing Good Friday just sit this one out? Or observe it and have fun at the party and NOT EAT HOT DOGS?

I don't even like hot dogs. I haven't eaten hot dogs since I found half a fly in one, the other half, of course, in my mouth.

But why not? Do the people who don't wish to have a party on Good Friday also look at their friends and family as heathens who eat meat when they eat meat?

I don't even eat meat all the time and I make it a point on Fridays during Lent to find something meaty and eat it. Just because I can. Because I feel like I should be allowed to. Because I don't believe in the hocus pocus and I don't live my life in fear of burning in the 7th ring of hell.

Why?

The world is full of so many people who feel that who they are and what they do is the most important thing happening at that moment. The world is full of people, who I bumped into quite a few this weekend, who feel that they are the most important person in the world and they don't feel like offering an inch, offering any space to you as you pass by them at a restaurant or grocery store.

People who feel like they are the best and brightest and everyone else pales in comparison to them, so why should they give them the common decency of saying excuse me.

And in my lifetime, quite a few have been Catholics.

Which goes beyond irony into a vast realm of stupidity.

But that's not the point.

The point is, who are we to judge everyone else for what they believe or what they do? Who am I to judge the religious people who feel they are better than everyone else?

Who I am to say anything?

Well, who are they to do the same?

We will all be judged. That's one thing I know. Whether I believe in God, Karma, Veloci-jesus, or some Oompa Loompa in the sky, we will all be judged.

Every single one of us will be judged.

It just depends on who your judge is and when the judgment will come.

Me? I'm going to live my life and let it all happen as it happens. I'm not going to live in fear of judgment after I'm dead. I know I've been a horrible person some days and I know that others I'm pretty decent.

But I don't feel living in fear or judgment of others is the best way for me to live my life and live out my days.

But maybe I'm wrong.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 96-100

2009-03-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Part 96

Who watches the Watchmen: Zack Snyder and the people in the theaters?

The blog continues to roll on down as next Friday gets closer and closer to reality and the release is just around the corner, and we have some more things to talk about.

Both dealing with major proponents on the sale of the film. Similar to how we discussed actors last time and some of the characters briefly, I want to discuss the director, and then bring up a point that was recently discussed on CNN.

Zack Snyder is the director.

I'm going to say it again. Zack Snyder is the director.

You know his name and maybe his face. He's been all over the world, promoting the three major film releases he's worked on.

His first major film, and his first film by all accounts, was the remake of Dawn of the Dead. A film that I should have hated. I loved the original. I thought zombie films were done and I wanted to be the person to bring them back in a big way.

But he released a stellar remake, a fun movie, one that was different enough from the original to seem like it's own movie. A film that has some of the loudest special effects, gory, gruesome, and did not disappoint.

Now, one thing that Gooch mentioned, and one thing I believe in, is Snyder's ability not to hold back. I have the unrated version of Dawn of the Dead, and it's gory. His next major film, nudity, gore, blood, violence, awesomeness.

But we're still talking about Dawn of the Dead.

Snyder came out of nowhere, a guy who was a commercial director, a guy who went to school with Michael Bay and a guy who no one had heard of, and all of a sudden, the zombie craze was alive and well, people wanted to make horror movies R-rated again, and people were champing at the bit to get Snyder to direct something else.

And he waited 3 years and waited and did right by a comic property next.

300 was his second major release, and again, it was a project (similar to Watchmen) that may never have happened.

Instead of following the rules he set up in his filmmaking tactics on Dawn of the Dead, he revamped and used skills similar to Sin City and made a film almost entirely using green/blue screens and special effects.

He did something that took balls. He tried a different technique, and I'll let you be the judge, but to me, it worked.

300 was a better film than it should have been. By all rights, the man was making a film that had no right to be a film but should have just stayed a book, a comic, and a graphic novel. A movie that on the page looked pricey, ambitious, and probably impossible.

And it came out.

And blew people away.

To date, he still owns the record in March. At some point, it will get surpassed, but he sold a movie no one knew anything about but people thought looked cool and made a cool, what, $70 million opening weekend? In March?

That's something right there.

That's why he got the silver platter handed to him with the keys to the biggest comic film in history. The unfilmable one. The Holy Grail.

Watchmen.

A movie with more starts and stops than almost any other in history.

From the date of publication until this March 6th, the film has been through at least 4 directors, a number of different studios, countless actors, producers, screenwriters, musicians, and you name it, pretty much everybody has wanted a piece of it.

We talked about that on Monday. All the actors that wanted to be a piece of this film, and the ones I listed were just a small part of that. There are so many more that I would probably fill an entire blog just talking about them alone.

But, the directors: Terry Gilliam was first. And man, it still chaps me to think that they screwed him over since day one on this project back in 1986. He had the rights, he wanted to make it, but didn't think for a second it could be done as one film in 3-acts. He thought maybe a trilogy, maybe a series, but definitely not one movie.

He was ambitious, and that cost him the job. He was only offered about 20-30 million to make the movie with, which even by 1980s standards is a very small number for such a huge project. He even had the writer of the soon to be critically acclaimed Batman Burton film writing the screenplay, that yes, was an adaptation, and no, wasn't perfect, but in scope, it could have worked with some fine-tuning.

That takes us through another one of my favorite directors: Darren Aronofsky. The second time the film got so close to being made that sets were being built, people were going to be hired to write and act in the film and it was going to move forward. But Warner Brothers screwed him over on it and then screwed him over worse Fountain which he was going to devote his time to making the best he could, after spending 6+ years trying to get it off the ground in the first place.

David Hayter wrote a screenplay that was the talk of Hollywood, and for those who don't know, this is the dude who wrote X-Men, he voices Solid Snake in the Metal Gear Solid video games, and he's done a lot of work on a lot of properties.

His screenplay was the one people started to talk about in Hollywood, but it was also the one that caused Alan Moore to flip out and believe it was pure shit and drivel and had no right to be made. Cue the music, big surprise, Alan Moore didn't like it. This was around the same time the debacle of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen came out, so it's no surprise he wasn't sure about another film of his masterpiece being made.

Cue Paul Greengrass after Aronofsky was shown the door, and you get ever closer to the film being made, but it took 3 more years (4 counting 09) to make this film and to get it out.

And it took a director like Snyder, one willing to be brave, to not back down when the studio says make it PG-13 and not back down when the studio says we want sequel potential, a guy who by all rights should never have made this film in the first place, and there you have it.

On March 6, 2009 (03-06-09), Watchmen will be released to theaters. Judging by his films to date, I'm excited. Very excited. More excited than I should be but still cautiously optimistic.

This is the big one. The mother of all comic book movies. And we're almost there. I have my tickets now for the midnight show, and it's the second in a year that I've been to (the first was Dark Knight), and I'm getting as excited for this as I was for that.

So again, trying to be cautiously optimistic here.

But I'm a comic fan through and through. So one or the other, this movie is for me.

But is it for you?

I've spent the better part of the last month talking up the film and the graphic novel, discussing the potential for this film and how it will play out and what it will be. Reading online reviews now is giving me a small taste of what people think. But will the general public like it? Or will it be too different?

It's not Spider-Man, it's not Superman, it's a group of characters they've never heard of and a group of character actors that they may barely even know. It's tricky. It's got a huge mountain to climb.

That's why the commercials show a ton of action. Probably the extent of all the action shown in the film is seen in the trailers.

This is a movie about a comic about the deconstruction of mythological superheroes and the men and women they really are. It looks into the inner psyche of these people to show them as real and as disturbed (if not moreso) than we are. It's based on something that is the tone of all comics following it.

Grim. Gritty. Realistic.

Will that tone work in theaters? Or will the general movie-going public see it and disregard it as just another Spirit?

We'll know soon enough.

I hope at this point that people want something better. Something more. Something a little more involving and realistic in their superhero movies than the ones of old. One that is down to earth and muddies the souls and the feet of the heroes within.

I hope that this film is what people are looking for from their superheroes. Deconstructions and breakdowns and character pathos that make you not sure who to root for and why you should.

This is going to be a challenge for the moviegoers and still for the creators of the film.

But I will be there, opening night, with a smile on my face and a smiley face button on my chest.

And I be there to be a part of this, as I have been ever since reading the book so so long ago.

Will you?

Next time, we continue our look with a few more tidbits to keep in mind before the film comes out. A few more characters to touch on, and maybe even a discussion on the music.

*****************

Part 97

Quis custodiet ipsos custode?

Who watches the watchmen?

Who guards the guardians?

Who will watch the watchers?

Who will guard those that guard us?

Who will protect us from those that protect us?

Who will protect you?

Are you the one who helps other people? Are you the one in charge? What happens when you, the hero, needs help? Who do you turn to?

It's an underlying theme in a lot of literature. A theme brought forth a long time ago by Juvenal, in the Satires, regarding how tyranny can be stopped.

It's one used even still today.

And it's the underlying theme, and for the most part, the major consensus of all people, that the story is exactly about that idea.

Who watches the Watchmen?

It's spray painted on walls. People say it to each other. People question it. It's in the news. It's on the streets. It's a hint and a whisper spoken between people who never knew each other before.

And it's one that should be an underlying theme in the film.

And it's one that will tie non-comic fans and comic fans alike. One that will touch everyone in the theater.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Think back.

Think about growing up.

Think about being a kid and entrusting your life to people.

Think about cops and parents and teachers and other people who you trusted, without question, because they were the ones protecting you.

And then think about how your world was changed the second you learned that those people aren't perfect. That they need protecting too. That they can be pulled through the mud just the same as everyone else.

Think about the first moment in your life when your eyes were opened to corruption.

Greed. Guilt. Dishonesty. And think about how it affected you.

That's the theme of the graphic novel, and I think it might be safe to say one of the themes we will see in the film.

Who watches the Watchmen?

Plato answered the question, according to Wikipedia, as "they will guard themselves against themselves. We must tell the guardians a 'noble lie.' The noble lie will inform them that they are better than those they serve and it is therefore their responsibility to guard and protect those lesser than themselves. We will instill in them a distaste for power or privilege; they will rule because they believe it right, not because they desire it."

And that brings up a point about what we're getting to.

The film, which we will get to.

The graphic novel touches on this in certain ways.

The heroes are real human beings. Human beings who were told a noble lie, that they were protecting the freedoms we all desired and being kept in the public eye because we trusted them.

And as soon as we turned our backs on them, they were left cold, alone, disturbed, and pissed.

They were told that they were better than all of humanity. They were the strong. The resolved. The best of the best. They were the ones we could look to in our time of need, the supermen and women who could protect us against everything.

And then the Keene Act of 1977 was passed, dissolving that all away.

If you've seen The Incredibles, or read any recent Marvel Comics, you may know where this is going.

Superheroes were outlawed. The public began to distrust them. Lose faith in them. Bad things came up in the press about them, scandals, all came out after this. It all started because of a riot.

The police in New York City went on strike, which caused riots, and violence in the streets, and people just all going off the reservation about the heroes and no trust could be placed on them any longer.

And so it was that the Keene Act was passed and all superheroes and vigilantes were outlawed.

Most retired. Some, like Rorschach, acted in secrecy. The Comedian, the cold-hearted son of a bitch that he is, got a job as a government-sponsored hero, just like Iron Man did recently in Marvel Comics.

This act, the passing of the act that was caused by police feeling they were unnecessary and the heroes were too brutal, is what caused the disillusion of the heroes.

It's what caused the downfall of the supermen.

It's what caused people like the main villain of the story to do what he needed to do to get the heroes back together again and "save" the world.

I don't want to spoil it for you as the ending of the graphic novel is so bizarre and so perfect that it would be too much to give away.

But it causes a massive upswell in panic on the streets. It plays a role in the idea that the Communists were going to blow up the world with nuclear missiles. It caused a number of pivotal moments in the comic and now the movie. It leads to the death of the Comedian.

It all comes back to that one thing. That one, central question: who watches the Watchmen?

Unlike the Incredibles, there is no real retirement. There's no real Witness Protection for them.

They are who they are and that's that. It leads to a lot of deaths. A lot of sadness. A lot of murder and pain and deception. It leads to people like the first Silk Spectre taking a job using her body to make money.

People like Hollis Mason. Moloch. The Dollar Bill. You name it, at the point of the story where the reader comes in, it's almost over.

We're on the downward spiral.

This movie is going to be depressing.

But it will leave you wondering, who watches the people that protect you? Who protects you when you're protecting them?

It will put a lot of things into question in your life. It will make you paranoid. You won't really trust people.

It will be hard to sleep. Hard to trust. Hard to live your life.

Because you'll always be there wondering, when is the man coming to get you next? Will the film touch on this? I can hope. It should. It definitely should. I mean, it could be right around the corner. The man coming to get you.

It could be right before the end credits...

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Part 98

Who watches the Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter and the structure/composition of the comic

I've mentioned previously the fact that the comic is unfilmable. That there are things in this book that would make it almost impossible to follow the rules of basic structure. That there are things about this book that make it visually appealing, things that may not work on film.

Well, we're finally here.

I promised a discussion on the music, and that will be discussed next time. Discussed with a look at the extensive prose pieces at the end of the text and what they mean to the overall work itself. But this, this blog is about two major things that influence the work outright.

And we'll start with Tales of the Black Freighter.

A comic within a comic. That's how this starts. A comic set within a comic world where comic heroes and characters read a comic about other comic characters.

The idea of the meta-text is born and fleshed out in the comic book format.

Tales of the Black Freighter follows a man called the Captain, never really fully named if I remember correctly, who is the last survivor on his own ship after a group of pirates attacked and destroyed his ship, on their way to Davidstown, his home.

The tale follows this mariner as he struggles to make it home in time to save those he loves. His neighbors, his wife, his family and friends.

The tale is gruesome, stark, and dank. It follows the story of this man as he falls further and further into darkness and corruption. As he slips further and further into madness.

And just like the young man reading the comic pressed against the electric hydrant, we want more. We want the story now.

And instead, it's split between 6 different issues of the comic, and not in any real succession. And that is frustrating, but when you're a comic reader, you get used to these sorts of things.

The cliffhanger. The need for more.

In a comic format, you get used to waiting. But even in reading this as a graphic novel, you want to skip ahead and read what happens to the mariner next.

And it's never good.

The ship has severed heads on pikes. His only companion are the gulls trying to eat the bodies of the dead, floating and bloated in the water below him. His only other companion is the wooden mermaid on the front of his ship, a companion that his kept him sane in some way.

But he builds a raft as he needs to outrun the slow movement of the Black Freighter. He needs to save his loved ones from these murdering cads. He needs to make it there and do whatever it takes to provide their safety.

So he builds a raft of dead bodies and their clothes. All those lost from his ship, strewn together with logs and rope and clothing. Dead bodies are his raft.

Sharks attack. He kills a seagull for sustenance. He drinks saltwater in small amounts to keep himself slightly hydrated.

He kills a shark and rides it into town.

He walks over the bodies of the dead.

He goes more and more insane as he makes his way home.

And when he's there, his madness consumes him. It erupts and explodes and turns him into the villain of the story.

There was never any real danger for the inhabitants of Davidstown until he showed up.

The pirates never came. Horror never came. He murdered and clawed his way there and when he made it, he was the pirate. He was the horror. He was the madness.

And the end of the story shows him, casting off the shackles of his humanity and making his way back to Black Freighter, drifting near the coast.

This story, Tales of the Black Freighter, adds a different perspective to the overall tale. Just like the other add-ins that we see in this comic, it influences things that are happening.

It narrates certain parts of the comic. It tells a tale similar to other characters falling further and further into madness (re: Rorschach).

It's all about human condition and what we'll do to stop the madness that comes for those we love, even going so far as to actually become the villain of the story.

It has a lot to do with one of the main characters in the graphic novel as well.

But I don't want to spoil things. Because I want you to see this film.

Now, the reason this makes it unfilmable is that, by subtracting the Tales of the Black Freighter insert, you're losing a major portion of the tale. You're losing insight on the level of the comic that you won't be allowed in the theater.

You won't be able to dissect things as easily. You won't be able to see the parallels between certain characters in the novel/film and in the Freighter story. You won't be able to see a large portion of what you're meant to see.

And it's a big drawback to the film.

Now, they are releasing the Tales of the Black Freighter animated film with Gerard Butler voicing the Captain (attached with Under the Hood, something we'll discuss next time) as a separate DVD after the release of the film has already happened, but how many people that haven't read the comic will actually go out and buy this? Especially when there is talk that a release will happen down the line possibly including Tales of the Black Freighter intertwined in the film release (again, probably dependent upon how well the film does).

Signs are bleak on this. But not hopeless. Again, the director did 300 and people went in droves. So things are hopeful there.

However, another major portion of the comic experience will be lost in the translation to the film. There are a lot of things that will probably translate well (like hidden symbols, hidden meanings, posters and background items for fans to pick out, etc).

But when the film is released, one of the key elements of the comic may be lost (I stress may).

One of the best issues of the series was issue 5, entitled Fearful Symmetry.

In the issue, Rorschach has a "discussion" with Moloch the Mystic (no longer a mystic and no longer a villain) and Ozymandias is attacked by an unknown assassin and his life is placed in jeopardy, among other things.

The issue itself is on a roughly 9-panel grid (and the majority of the work itself follows this pattern). Each page mimics a later page.

Page 1 and the final page. Page 2 and the second to last page, etc etc. All the way through the book.

It culminates in the very middle of the book being essentially a two-page spread showing the events of the attack on Ozymandias' life and what happens in it. The pages reflect each other, as if in a mirror image, to a degree.

Not in the sense that the exact same things happen on reflecting pages, but more in the page layout and the colors.

If you have the graphic novel, good for you. Flip open to issue 5 and flip through it. Look at page 1. Look at page 28.

Take a look throughout. Look how the panels are set up on each page. Look at how it almost goes 1 3 5 7 9 having the same colors (panels on one page) and 2 4 6 8 having the same colors on the page.

Flip through the book and look at each page individually and see it. The symmetry is there.

It's extraordinary. And again, it's unfortunate to think that this cannot be reflected, verbatim, into the film version.

Now, that's not to say that symmetry can't be there when the film comes out.

They can mimic earlier scenes. Colors. Shapes. Shadows. Light and darkness can reflect the mood in certain ways. Music can be used to simulate the sense of symmetry.

There are ways to do it.

But as it stands, we've seen the part of the film in trailers where Ozymandias is attacked, and it appears to be shown more for action as opposed to symmetry of scene.

Again, I haven't seen it yet so I'm unsure, but having read more and more about how Snyder wanted to make this as close to the reality of the comic as it could be, I have faith.

And faith is a word that I don't use often, especially when discussing comic films.

But in all honesty, the film will be a different entity. I've never appreciated the comic fan who cannot marry the idea that comics and movies are different and are supposed to be different.

It's not an issue of two separate entities and never the twain shall meet (though at one point it looked like that would be the case).

In my eyes, comics and films go hand in hand. They are separate experiences, to be enjoyed and discussed in different ways.

There are things you can do in a comic that you could never do in a movie, and vice versa.

In my eyes, I am open, but not all comic fans are.

So there is an uphill struggle for Watchmen with these fans. The fans that believe that it MUST follow the source material to a T or else it doesn't show respect to it. The fans who think that even the smallest change is a slight against the creation and therefore is punishable by death or non-viewing.

There are those people who will never see this movie because of word of mouth and because it's not in the vision of Alan Moore.

There are those people who will never see this film and potentially enjoy it as an ADAPTATION of the source material.

But we'll discuss that on Friday.

There are people like that who will rail against the movie for all the reasons I have laid out to date, and where I may seem like one of them, I am completely excited for the prospect that is this film.

I am excited beyond all belief for it.

I just can't wait til Thursday night. It's been a long time coming.

********************

Part 99

Who watches the Watchmen? The music used in the comic and the music that will be in the movie (or on the soundtrack at least).

By the way, can you believe it's been 99 of these things? One more for 100? Jesus. I feel very penultimate here. It's crazy.

"At midnight, all the agents and superhuman crew go out and round up everyone who knows more than they do."
-Bob Dylan, Desolation Row

Now, as we've discussed to date, this is a superhero comic. It's a superhero comic pulling apart the mythos and boiling it down to its most human level.

This first quote plays a major role in the rest of the series, and actually is seen at the end of the first issue. Take a look at that quote again and tell me what you think it means.

The world of superheroes has been broken. They have been rounded up and stripped bare of their place in society because they are too powerful, because police were rioting, because they felt and seemed above all else ultra-human. That they were above the law.

So the government rounds them up and places a ban on all superheroes, effectively destroying them in the process. Because they know too much. Because they are too much.

And look at it in the sense of the world around us. The way of the world recently.

Religious beliefs. People you love. The people who love you.

Rights are still taken away from us everyday, and that song was written how long ago? Recorded in 1965, it still holds a point in the world we live in today.

Again, it's a way for people in power to take away the power that should belong to everyone. It's a way to belittle those around you and make them seem less than human.

You turn them into a choice. You turn them into one small aspect of who they are.

And in this world: you turn them into heroes and then strip that away, and what do you have left?

Nothing but bare bones and a warped sense of reality (re: Rorschach).

"And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians."
-Elvis Costello, The Comedians

Again, another song written a long time ago (1984), it completely fits in line with the story within.

Obviously, there is a character called the Comedian in it, and this quote ends issue 2 of the comic. An issue devoted to the death/funeral of the comedian.

The title of the issue, Absent Friends, is from the lyrics to the song, similar to the way issue 1 is called Desolation Row. It's all very serendipitous.

But more than that, the issue deals with the funeral, the placing of the body of the Comedian in the ground. And not everyone is there for the event.

Think of it in the context of a funeral. They should be happy. They should be excited. They should be relishing the world around them. And instead, they're around a bunch of faceless people, people from their past that mean little to nothing to them as it is.

The dawn is breaking: well, obviously the discussion here is that the time is coming. That the endgame is afoot. Which the majority of the comic is devoted to.

But here we are, at a funeral, the end still approaches, but instead of doing something happy, instead of doing something they want, they're stuck. They're stuck watching the world pass them by, dressed in gaudy costumes and acting like fools.

This quote can work for all of us, as we get older. We're stuck, in certain ways, in jobs we hate, with family and friends that don't call anymore but you still hang around with, and instead of being joyous and looking toward the oncoming years for big events and new joys, we're stuck.

We're stuck, sitting with a bunch of goons, reminiscing about the past.

There are more songs to discuss that play parts within the comic itself, such as Walking on the Moon by the Police, Neighborhood Threat by Iggy Pop, Jocko Homo by Devo, and Unforgettable by Nat King Cole, but almost all of these do not appear on the soundtrack to the film, and probably do not appear in the film.

Which bothers me greatly as each of these plays a major part in the book, but this next one most certainly does.

"You're my thrill. You do something to me. You send chills right through me when I look at you, 'cos you're my thrill..."
-Billie Holiday, You're My Thrill

This plays a major role in issue 7 at the very end of the issue (but not a quote at the end of the chapter). It plays in Nite-Owl's Owlship during the tenement fire, and it plays a huge role in the development of the character of Nite-Owl (Dan Dreiberg).

A lonely man, aging, living out his days as an inventor and bird-watcher, he spends his time speaking with his mentor, Hollis Mason.

It's only after the death of the Comedian, the reappearance of Rorschach into his life, and the return of Silk Spectre II as well, that brings him out of his retirement.

But he's still the impotent superhero. The unwanted man who can accomplish nothing to be proud of anymore, ever since hanging up the tights and the belt.

He's the aged wonder, but once he's up there in the sky, saving lives and doing right, he's empowered. He's invigorated. He can totally get it up (literal and figurative).

And his love for Silk Spectre knows no bounds at this point because he's a new man. New confidence. New abilities. New power. And he's reborn.

We see this daily. We see this in films (Rambo, all the old men coming back to recapture the screen), we see this in politics (John McCain), we see this in every aspect of our lives.

We all want to reclaim our youth at some point. Be reborn. Feel empowered. Do right. And we all need that spark.

It just so happens that this song plays while Dan finds his spark.

Then we get into "The Times They are A-Changing" by Bob Dylan, which is featured and goes without saying, but also this one:

"Outside in the distance a wild cat did growl, two riders were approaching, and the wind began to howl."
-Bob Dylan, All Along the Watchtower

Now, Bob Dylan's music plays a major role in the comic. It pulls a lot of story elements together, and obviously, within the graphic novel, the times are changing.

Things are getting bleaker. Darker. More disturbing. The world is on the brink of disaster and here we are, in issue 10, entering the very end of the comic book in its entirety, and All Along the Watchtower plays a role in this.

Rorschach and Nite-Owl have teamed up and are making their way to Ozymandias' fortress of solitude (again, he's that world's realistic iteration of Superman).

Two riders, approaching on hoverbikes that Nite Owl invented, and the cold is coming in.

It's all very on the surface don't you think?

We all know this song. We've all heard the version sung by Jimi Hendrix and a lot of us have heard Dylan's original, but it makes perfect sense here.

Ozymandias watches televisions showing the events of the world as they transpire, and here we are, the two heroes approaching to question him about the happenings, and we're left with a question, an overriding question that will face the characters til the end of their time: who watches the Watchmen?

And that leads into our final quote, before our discussion of the soundtrack itself.

"It would be a stronger world, a stronger loving world, to die in."
-John Cale, Sanities

That ends the Watchmen. That quote. It ties into the death of a major character, the one true hero of the book, and it ties everything together at the very end.

The world has been brought together by a common enemy. It has been made stronger. And now people left and right are dying.

Again, I don't want to spoil the book/film for you, so there are a lot of things I can't say. And I won't say them.

Just know that the reality of the comic is that the world is changing. Some think for the better. Some think for the worse.

Those that think it will be getting worse are the ones that don't make it in the end.

It's a look at the way the world is. Casting off the shackles of the old to make way for the new. Casting off the oppressive world views and starting over.

That's the way the world works in Watchmen. That's the way the world works in our own lives.

And that's the point. That's the world of the Watchmen. A world where things are quite what they should be. Where the heroes are bleak, resolute, and disturbed and the villains are the ones in power.

It's a testament to the world at the time, in the 80s, when Alan Moore wrote the book. A world with the Thatchers and the Reagans and the Iran-Contra events. There are big explosive issues, and the thoughts of an invading force of Communist is a big problem that faced people daily (look at Red Dawn).

So here we are, at the end, and what are we left with? Armageddon. It will happen someday, despite all the naysayers and those railing against it, but will the world be better off if it actually happens?

We'll see.

But let's discuss the soundtrack for the film. The one with original and inspired by music.

Desolation Row by My Chemical Romance
Unforgettable by Nat King Cole
The Times they are A-Changin' by Bob Dylan
The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel
Me & Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin
I'm Your Boogie Man by KC and the Sunshine Band
You're My Thrill by Billie Holiday
Pruit Igoe & Prophecies by Philip Glass
Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
All Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix
Ride of the Valkyries by Budapest Symphony Orchestra
Pirate Jenny by Nina Simone

Now obviously some of these songs make sense in the context of the graphic novel (in fact, almost all do). I'm very glad that Desolation Row is on there, though I've not heard My Chemical Romance's version of it.

I'm left scratching my head about it.

I don't understand why they have it as a cover song. I mean, it's good that there's no original songs on there (thank the lord on high), but it leaves me wondering, why them?

They're fans of the graphic novel. Big deal. 9 out of 10 people who've read comics in any fashion are fans of the graphic novel, and a ton of them make music.

Why not do an entire album full of cover songs and put them on the album? Why just that one, Jimi's version of Watchtower, and Pirate Jenny by Nina Simone?

Why no Comedians? Why no Iggy Pop?

There's quite a few important songs missing from this album that strike me as odd.

And for all my enjoyment of the song from the trailers (The End is the Beginning is the End or the Beginning is the End is the Beginning by the Smashing Pumpkins), I'm glad it's not on here.

A little weird to use a song that originally appeared on the Batman and Robin soundtrack in your marketing push and it would have been weirder to use it on the soundtrack.

Again, I like the song, but you want to distance yourself from that blight on comic films as much as possible. Place tongue firmly in cheek when using it and maybe, just maybe, it will work.

Well, it worked in the trailers but I'm glad it's not on the soundtrack. That would have been weird.

And with that, we're here. A long, strange road has been weaved these last 99 columns/blogs that we're finally there. We're at the pinnacle.

The next blog is issue 100. The big one. The ultimate as I've been numbering them for a reason.

I've not yet seen the film, but will be seeing it Thursday/Friday at midnight. It will be in IMAX. This film has been a long time coming, and I'm sure my excitement has shown that.

Number 100 will be a big blow-out. It will be long. It will be a strange road we still weave. It will signal some changes down the line as we progress and try to get back to our regularly scheduled gonzo program.

Our next blog will be the last devoted to Watchmen and will feature a review. In however many words I decide to use.

But we will get back to what the plan was from the beginning. Fear and Loathing in Overland Park. A look at the world around us. A world in our backyard.

We'll be back.

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Part 100

Number 100, the final Watchmen look, and a look to the future.

Let's begin with my review of the Watchmen. I spent all weekend dissecting it in my brain. I spent all weekend back and forth, discussing with people that I know, looking at certain aspects, and trying to decide how I feel.

And I'm still not sure.

It made 56 million, but is that enough? Biggest opening of the year so far, but still, is it enough? Will it do well next weekend? Or is it doomed?

I saw it Thursday night, midnight, at the IMAX, and I wasn't completely blown away. I was a little frustrated. A little peeved. A lot angsty. And a lot tired.

To preface, the group of people I saw it with included my friends, and then a theater full of comic fans (it seemed), people who saw t-shirts and posters at Hot Topic (wearing the standard Hot Topic gear that included plasticware and leather get-ups), and a couple of goons wearing homemade costumes that looked very homemade.

It was sad.

It was Star Wars all over again.

And when I saw all three Star Wars films in theaters, thankfully, I was more let down there than I was here.

Read Gooch's article. Mine will be similar, but not exact.

I'm coming from years of reading this. Close to 20 years almost. I read this when I was 8 and had no clue what I was reading and have read it a number of times since.

This was a deciding factor in my becoming a comic fan and a deciding factor in what I would look for in my comics and my superheroes.

This film, however, does not do the same thing for my film tastes.

It's not perfect.

It's a little frustrating.

There are scenes that were directly lifted from the comic, and that's where the problems arise. It's a little stiff in places. It's a little wooden. It doesn't allow space for fun, excitement, and change. And then once those scenes are over and it jumps into a scene that is not from the comic, the contrast is there completely.

It doesn't relish in the sense of it's absurdity as much as it could. There's a blue naked dude on screen the whole movie and no one questions it. It's a world very unlike our own and a lot of it you can tell that maybe this is a niche film. Maybe this isn't a film for everyone.

But Snyder wasn't sure who he was making it for.

Yes, he tried to please the long time fans with tastes and sounds and scenes lifted from the comic exactly. Yes he did his damnedest with the unfilmable material and made a movie that for all intents and purposes is a thinking man's blockbuster.

But it's not perfect.

And maybe that's the point.

The frustrations begin with the sheer nonsense that the slow-motion affects. A lot of people have mentioned the slow-motion by this point, and I feel like mentioning it myself.

It worked in 300. 300 was an action comic/action film. Watchmen is not an action piece. It's a deconstruction of mythology and characters and humanity. It's a look inside the pathos of the human mind and the fetishistic ways in which we put on masks.

It's strange to see this comic on screen and see the action sequences slowed down to the point of absurdity.

And to me, it's lazy filmmaking.

Some people see it as a stark contrast to the quick way the world is moving around them, some people see it as a way for the director to stimulate your senses and let you see things as the characters do, but it makes no sense.

I lost count of the number of slow-motion sequences. Each and every scene of action had at least one moment slowed down, whether a bone breaking, a shot fired, or a person dodging a hit.

Rain scenes were slow-motion and the rain itself slowed down and dripped slowly.

The unfolding of a flag in the rain during a funeral scene was slow motion.

A smiley face button was flipped and slowed about 15 times.

Blood was in slow motion, spurting, dripping, flowing.

Fight scenes with young kids, old people, everybody, slowed down. It was a little absurd seeing young Rorschach tear at the older kid in slow motion or seeing his mother yell at him in slow motion.

The entire opening credits scene (which was beautiful, extraordinary, and some of the best work of the entire film) was in slow motion.

Just a little too much and a little over the top.

Some of the film was fantastic, as I said.

Patrick Wilson was a complete and utter surprise. He was so good that I couldn't believe this was the same actor from Lakeview Terrace, the same "pretty face" guy that was in Alamo and so many other movies that he just disappears into. And he does. He becomes Dan Dreiberg in this movie and it's amazing.

I always saw fan-favorite John Cusack in the role of Dreiberg, and Wilson made it his own. With tiny nuances from the comic, little bits and pieces of the man inside the costume, you feel for this guy.

He's the linchpin in the film. The guy who knows and interacts with everyone in the movie. All the other characters know him and see him and act around him. He has scenes with everybody.

It works. He works well as the slightly bloated Batman-esque retired character, and the changes at the end of the film work better for his character and make him become the hero he wants to be.

It's awesome.

Nothing needs to be said about Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. He was perfection. Absolutely the character on screen. Just sheer dynamite acting.

Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan was another person I didn't expect a lot from. Reading reviews before the film I expected him to be a slight let-down, but again, he didn't disappoint.

He has a distinct voice and a very understated acting style that I love. He was perfect. Not at all who I expected to be Dr. Manhattan, but he's just so perfect and he just fits into the world as the disaffected man.

And his distance, his portrayal of the cold superhero who has no reason to stay on Earth is brilliant. Again, understated, but perfect.

His flashback is one of the best. His flashback fits in so well in the movie and just gave me goosebumps. It wasn't exact from the comic, but it was so close that I knew everything that was going to happen and I was just in awe of it.

I was in awe of the special effects when his body was reconstructing and I was in awe when he burst out of nothingness, reborn. It was insane.

The rest of the actors are just kind of there. Matthew Goode and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are the best of the rest, as they have a lot to do, but Malin Ackerman is just there as a pretty face, the actor playing Nixon is almost as laughable as Skeletor playing him in Frost/Nixon against the werewolf guy.

Hollis Mason isn't in the movie for more than one scene, and showing his book, Under the Hood, throughout the movie makes no sense and plays no part other than to tie in the idea that these characters have been around for a long time and have done a lot.

So it's not perfect.

That's not to say it's terrible.

As I mentioned the opening credits, as have most, so too do I mention the music in the film. At times brilliant (The Times they are a-Changin'), it was at others equally ridiculous.

The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel is such a cliched song that it hurt and made myself and a few others laugh out loud in the film. It was painful. Here's a scene that demands respect and demands seriousness and we laugh? That's not a good idea.

You missed the boat by not including Elvis Costello's song from the graphic novel.

You missed the boat by including 99 Red Balloons in German (Luft Balloons, I think it's spelled).

You missed the boat by having My Chemical Romance cover Desolation Row.

But beyond that, the score itself was at times both not really there and superb. The prison break sequence had 70s style music that immediately brings to mind Escape from New York with pitch perfect ability and made me wish the whole score was exactly like that.

The assassination attempt against Ozymandias scene had a hilarious Muzak rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World which fit perfectly and not too many people caught.

But there were little touches throughout the entire movie that were remarkable and made me happy to watch.

Some stuff that frustrated me.

And some that made me think.

It was not a perfect film. But it was a good film. It was one that made me happy at times and frustrated beyond all belief at others. But we struggle through it.

At least it wasn't as boring as Benjamin Button.

Regarding the release, it has an uphill battle from here. A lot of people weren't pleased. It didn't grab the non-hardcore fans as well as 300 did. It didn't grab the non-fans for a large portion of the movie.

You have a 3 hour movie that has bits and pieces of action in it that will make non-fans happy, but the fact is, it's 3 hours long. That will play a part in the uphill battle.

Also, next week and every week following has some kind of release to go against it. Race to Witch Mountain. I Love You, Man. Adventureland. Fast and Furious. All different kinds of movies but they play to similar crowds. So it will be interesting to see what happens next, but by no means will this match Dark Knight's money-grabbing ability.

Now, moving forward, we have new places to go and people to meet. We have big events coming down the line, including a film festival in California this weekend.

That's right. A film festival.

This Fear and Loathing is about to go global and is going to be on a couple of panels this weekend in Santa Monica. How weird is that?

Panels? Me on a panel? Craziness. I'm still slightly out of my mind and don't believe that it's true, but yes, I will be at a film festival this weekend. And yes, I will be on panel in front of some really famous and important Hollyweird types.

And yes I will have my business cards out.

So what does it mean going forward?

It means that Fear and Loathing may go global, but I'm committed to bringing it back to what it was. A look at the strange. The surreal. The understated. The reality of the world.

And a look at how it affects you and I personally.

You are now returning to your regularly scheduled program...

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 94-95

2009-02-24T19:31:00.001-08:00

Who watches the Watchmen?: Dave Gibbons and Rorshach

Valentine's Day was going to be the topic of the day but really, why bother? You all know what I feel about holidays and other people have already started to talk about it and rail against it, so I'll save my breath.

Instead, I'm going to discuss something of importance to quite a few people as the day approaches. Watchmen and it's creators, characters, messages, etc.

Today's topic: Dave Gibbons. And one of the main characters in the book (and most people's favorite), Rorshach.

Last time we talked about Alan Moore and what an insanely crazy person he was. Today we discuss Dave Gibbons who will look so completely off the wall normal that you would just have to believe there are some sick and disgusting skeletons in his closet.

But there may not be.

Born in England 60 years ago this year, he's a comic artist and writer who has had a very healthy career in comics. Obviously best known as the artist and co-creator of Watchmen, he's also worked on anthology comic titles like 2000 AD (one of the longest running and most popular anthology comics in comic book history, which was the home to popular characters such as Judge Dredd among numerous others).

He's one of the forerunners of the British art explosion in comics, one that has helped to bring scores of new artists from overseas to basically take over the comics art side of the business. Before him and a few others, most major comic artists were American born. Jewish guys who lived in New York City or Cleveland.

Most comic artists were of a certain cut.

I'm not saying he's the Jackie Robinson of comic artists, obviously, as he wasn't the first to make waves, but he was definitely one of the first that was noticed by American comic audiences.

He drew 2000AD strips, Doctor Who comics, and then started working on Green Lantern Corps backups in the 80s, and of course, that lead to Watchmen and For the Man who has Everything, one of the best stories ever told about Superman.

And not to underscore his work on Watchmen, as it is fantastic, but he has done so much more than just that. He's not a one-trick pony, same as Moore isn't.

He's worked with Frank Miller on a number of books.

He wrote Batman vs Predator for Dark Horse and DC.

He drew Hulk, Wolverine, the Spirit, Star Wars, and Superman.

He's written Captain America, Green Lantern, and the Legion of Superheroes.

Hell, he even did the cover to Kula Shaker's first album. How the hell weird is that?

But beyond that, the one thing he will forever be known as is the more commercially successful co-creator from the Watchmen team. And not in the sell-out sense, though there will be a number of people who believe him to be just that.

In the sense that he has transcended his own success with previous works by continuing to work in the mainstream. Continuing to create and continuing to work with new talents.

He's still in the comic public's eye as the writer of certain event tie-ins. He helped bring the Green Lantern Corps back to prominence. And he hasn't sworn off superheroes, like his cohort did.

He still makes mainstream comics and ones that you can find at a local comic shop and he doesn't complain about how people describe his work or how people remake his work into new forms.

He's just happy to be working.

He's not above it. He's just an artist, and a down-to-earth normal guy who doesn't worship Satan.

Weird how he and Moore are complete polar opposites.

Rorshach: He was born Walter Kovacs, and like every other character in the Watchmen graphic novel, he's something of an amalgam of other characters that existed at the time.

Chief among them The Question from Charlton Comics. The Question, still going strong in some form today, is a weird detective character. A weird detective character that has been seen acting more and more like Kovacs as time went on and even had voice acting by Jeffrey Combs, he of Re-Animator fame. Such a great movie.

But I digress. Because DC didn't want Moore and Gibbons using the newly purchased Charlton characters and ruining them for future use (read the graphic novel and you'll see why), it forced the two to create these fantastic characters.

Like Rorshach.

Something of an analogy for the comics at the time. What would happen if Batman really existed in 1985? In this universe where paranoia runs rampant and the Cold War is ongoing, what would the vigilante do?

What would happen if you took Batman, the Punisher, and all these black-hearted, cold sons of bitches, and just turned it on its ear and made them nutcases?

You'd get Rorshach. You'd get one of the biggest conspiracy nuts this side of Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory, and you'd get what amounts to one of the greatest characters in comic book history.

Not only that, but one that people love so much that inspite of everything, he only appears in 12 comic books, he only appears in this series, and that's it.

And he's listed as one of the greatest of all time.

But why?

Because we like our characters to be messed up. To be lost. To be so freaked out by the things they do that they hide behind a mask. Because he was a real iteration of characters like Batman that until that time had been so pure and honest and forthright that nothing could tarnish them.

And then came Rorshach and the gang and they threw a wrench in comic books. One that will be felt essentially until comics are no longer made. One that will forever be held in the highest regard as the Holy Grail of comics.

One that is held up in the face of everything as what comics should aspire to be. Just look at the comic movies of recent years. You used to have the Superman movies which were kitsch and goofiness, and now you have the Dark Knight where the villain scares the shit out of the hero.

And that's what people want. They want their heroes more down to earth. More like them. With feet of clay.

That's why Watchmen will continue forward. That's why Rorshach is one of the best.

He's brutal. He's honest. He's a nutjob in a mask that kills because the prison system doesn't work. He's so far to the right of society that if you dared to tell him he was wrong he may put a lit cigarette out in your eye.

He's the face of the 80s and he's the face of the breakdown of comics and the first push toward legitimizing comic book heroes.

May I present: Rorshach.

*************************

Part 95

Who watches the Watchmen? Apparently, everybody. This blog goes out to all the new readers and all the newly minted fans and soon to be fans.

EDIT: To be seen later in this post:

This blog's for you.

We begin with another look, this time at a few of the characters. Not many of them deserve their own blog, I could probably run a blog filled with stuff about each and every one of them, but at this point, we're getting down to the wire, and it might be better to just move along.

So. Moving along...

Nite Owl. Played in the film by Patrick Wilson (he faced down uber-racist Sam Jackson in Lakeview Terrace and he was in The Alamo remake), he's another character derived from old school comic characters.

In fact, they all are.

Nite Owl, in the comics, is the second character to have the name Nite Owl. He follows one of the Minutemen (more on them later) and is a legacy character.

A legacy character, for those not sure what that is, is something DC Comics thrives on, and Marvel has started to incorporate a little bit more of recently.

Basically, think of a king passing his throne. Think of the torch being passed to a younger hero who could continue to fight the good fight.

Green Lantern did it. Blue Beetle did it. Batman did it (a few times). The Flash, the list goes on and on.

That's who Nite Owl is. Dan Dreiberg follows in the footsteps of his personal hero and friend, Hollis Mason. Who is also in the movie and wrote a book that is a major crux moment for the movie, Under the Hood.

If you'd read the comic/graphic novel by this point, you'd know what I was talking about.

His character moves a lot of things forward. Plays a huge role in the film (I assume) as he plays a huge role in the book. Basically, think Blue Beetle and you've got what's going on here.

Nite Owl 2, Dreiberg, is a very mild-mannered person when the story starts. Overweight, out of his prime, rich inventor character who has nothing better to do with his time then follow around a nutcase in a flowing mask.

That's Nite Owl. Think naive, think better than most people, think overly trusting, the bread and butter characters of the early comic ages, the one who weren't tarnished or grimy or dirty and you've got Nite Owl.

The good guy, the boy scout.

Then you've got his complete 180, the Comedian.

It's all just so damn funny.

Eddie Blake, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan (who you've probably seen on Supernatural or as Denny in Grey's Anatomy or in PS I Love You, a lot of really crappy stuff), is the Comedian. And he's a giant asshole.

He's the guy who will beat the shit out of someone and will wear some crazy leather get-up and then throw them off a building. Not because he's a nutjob. Just because he's efficient.

He was a member of the Minutemen, and one of the nasty things he did during the time with them is one of the major moments discussed in Under the Hood, Hollis Mason's memoir.

Think of him as the military man, the Nick Fury character who goes above and beyond what's necessary and punishes the wicked. He's a version of the Charlton/DC comics character Peacemaker, and he's one that constantly provides brutality and strong violence for the masses.

He's what comic characters would turn into after he was shown in the world of the Watchmen.

His character brought forth people like Spawn, gave more prominence to the Punisher, showed us what Batman would be like in Dark Knight Returns, and he provided the comic world with one of the best images in comic history.

The blood-drenched smiley face.

His one item that set off one of the best cross-culture memorabilia in recent memory. Wear a smiley face button around a comic fan and see what happens. Put a little dab of red on the top left and tilt it ever so gently, and see what happens.

See what people think of you.

He performed acts of brutality during Vietnam, to his own teammates, and lead to the separation of the Minutemen for what was decided to be his most heinous of acts.

And his death is what starts the entire graphic novel on it's course of perfection.

Which leads us to one final character to discuss today: Ozymandias.

The Superman character. The super-smart, super-powerful man who might be more than a normal man. Might be the best person to save the world.

Played in the film by Matthew Goode (who you've seen in Chasing Liberty with Mandy Moore or Match Point or the Lookout or the most recent version of Brideshead Revisited), Adrian Veidt is the world's smartest man and a giant bag of douche.

Honestly.

He's the Superman, and he's bored. Since the Minutemen broke up and since the Keene Act was passed, no one cares anymore.

There are no supervillains to fight, there is no injustice to defeat, there is nothing for him to do.

Except decide on what he bests next, what he can best in combat, what toys should be in the toy line, and what to do with his multi-national company.

Just like every character in Watchmen, there is more to him than meets the eye, but to tell you would be to ruin a giant portion of the comic and a giant part of what makes the comic and the character so special.

There is a wealth to this character, and he is one of the few actors I worry about being able to portray this character well.

I'm not sure how to think, but just seeing him on-screen makes me think Goode may have the right level of douche-ness to uphold the true power of this character, but he's not old enough.

That's one thing.

And to spout off for a second about my biggest beef with the movie, none of the actors seem old enough. Nearly old enough.

Being a comic fan, you have certain people in mind when they start talking about a movie. When they start to discuss who should play what.

And being a big fan of the comics and paying attention to popular culture, you get a certain sense of who was going to play a certain character and who really really wanted to. And then you have the people that you wish could have played them.

All of these are based on the comic itself, so if you've read it, you should be able to follow me with my choices.

I wanted John Cusack to play Nite Owl.

Jude Law wanted to play Rorshach, as did just about everybody and their mother, but Jackie Earle Haley is about the best pick I could think of. There are a number of people who could have worked, and I really wanted Steve Buscemi, but this one I can see working.

Simon Pegg wanted it.

Robin Williams was going to play it.

Hell, Clint Eastwood could have played it.

I wanted Bruce Campbell to play the Comedian. Jeff Morgan looks like he'll work out, but again, this could have been anybody. It could have been Bruce Willis, but again, this is one that a ton of people wanted to play.

Edit: Gooch made a great suggestion that I wish I had thought of. Alec Baldwin as Comedian. I also have another thought on Rorshach. Jeff Goldblum. Think about his frenetic personality and just nutcasery. That would have been awesome too. And Gooch, Zack Snyder gets his own blog in the next few. Trust me when I say it should actually be more positive than negative.

Ozymandias, in a perfect world, would have been played by Christopher Reeve. And it would have been glorious. The Superman actor would have come back in a big way. But besides him, the list could go on and on. Pick a golden boy and put him in the costume as the world's smartest man.

Dr. Manhattan? I'm just glad it wasn't Arnold like Joel Silver wanted way back when.

And the directors?

When it falls through the hands of two of my favorite directors, Terry Gilliam and Darren Aronofsky, ends up in Paul Greengrass' and then Zack Snyder, you kind of absolutely have to wonder what could have been.

And seriously, what could have been?

Who would have been playing the Watchmen at that point?

The world will never know.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 93

2009-02-09T08:15:00.001-08:00

Our first look into the world of Watchmen as the movie gets closer and closer to release. And the first one will be about creator Alan Moore.

Well, co-creator Alan Moore. If you have any interest in this film, it might be worthwhile to take a look at this blog. Then again, it might not. Just depends on how you feel.

Alan Moore is a madman. He’s a genius. A spectator, and to comics fans, something of a god among men.

All writers aspire to be him. All artists aspire to work with him. All fans want to meet him. But he can’t even set foot in the United States.

He’s a madman and a futurist. And according to his personal life tag on Wikipedia, “Moore was born in Northampton, England to brewery worker Ernest Moore and printer Sylvia Doreen. He lived in a very poor area, and was expelled from school in 1970 at the age of 17 for dealing LSD, later describing himself as ‘one of the world’s most inept LSD dealers.’ With his first wife Phyllis, he had two daughters, Amber and Leah. The couple also had a mutual lover Deborah. In time, Phyllis, Deborah and the two children left Moore. On May 12, 2007, he married Melinda Gebbie, with whom he has worked on several comics. He currently lives in Northampton. He is a vegetarian, an anarchist, a practicing magician and occultist, and he worships a Roman snake-deity named Glycon.”

Now whether or not that’s all true, one can venture a guess, having read any of his work, that it probably and most certainly is. And to each one of you out there, you may not know his name, but you’ve probably seen a movie based on one of his works.

From Hell with Johnny Depp and Heather Graham, based on the comic of the same name, about Jack the Ripper.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, starring Sean Connery, based on the comic of the same name, about a group of Victorian-era heroes based on literary figures and novel stars.

V for Vendetta, starring Natalie Portman and Hugo Weaving, about a man who takes on a government after being tortured by it.

And soon to be Watchmen, a story of the 1980s and an impending apocalypse all for the sake of heroes, starring Billy Crudup and a bunch of people you may never have heard of.

He’s written some of the best long-form comics, graphic novels, minis, and everything a comic fan could enjoy, but unless I make my merry way over to England, I may never meet him.

He hates films based on his creations and goes out of his way to not see them, be a part of them, or do anything but deride anyone involved in them.

He has even gone so far as to taking his name off the works since they are generally products he does not agree with (see V for Vendetta and Watchmen).

But what does he truly mean to comic fans? To aspiring writers who’ve grown up on his products and now face the daunting task of living up to one’s own personal hero?

What does he mean to me, personally, and what will he mean to you, the reader?

Lets start from the beginning.

The first time I ever read an Alan Moore story, I was too young to have any clue what I was reading. I was too young to understand the big words he was using, the broad strokes of genius he was showing me, and the pure imagination seeping off the page.

I was just a dumb young kid who loved Swamp Thing and wanted to read a comic based on Swamp Thing.

Lo and behold, Alan Moore had written some Swamp Thing comics that I managed to get my hands on as a kid and just sit there, reading them, poring over the pictures of Swamp Thing, and thinking it was the coolest thing ever.

My child’s brain didn’t comprehend what I was reading at the time. I was reading a story that dealt with a very strange person and the woman who loved him in spite of his being a plant creature and something so terrifying and gross that you wouldn’t want an 8 year old reading this if you had any chance to keep it away from him.

My morbid little brain was probably rotted from that day forward, but I had no clue. I didn’t know Swamp Thing was having a sexual relationship with a woman. I had no clue Moore was discussing politics and environmental issues and issues regarding life and the afterlife. I just knew it was a story about Swamp Thing.

My first Superman comic ever was one written by Alan Moore and it’s one you may have heard of and one that you may not have. If you’ve seen it or read it, you know what I’m talking about. For the Man Who Has Everything.

A story about Superman receiving memories of living on Krypton and being stuck in a hallucination because of one of his super-villains. It’s ranked as one of the greatest Superman stories ever told, and if they made a movie featuring this as one of the major plot pieces, you would agree.

It’s haunting, it’s depressing, and it shows what would happen if someone screwed with Superman to the point of desperation, breaking his will and shoving him against a wall. And what you get isn’t standard white-bread boy scout Superman. You get a bastard who is pissed.

Being who he is, he takes characters to the breaking point, the point of no return. He shoves them into a place where there should be no coming back, but there always is. It’s a comic book, so you can always find rescue, or a way out. But the stories he tells, you root for them to fail. You root for them to be darker.

It makes them more compelling.

And he probably gets some weird glee out of seeing both the character and reader squirm. And that’s what we do.

From Hell, the comic, is gross. But beyond gross, it is heavily detailed, plotted to insane amounts, and as thick as a phonebook. But it is that way because he spent time researching it. He came up with a plausible look at who Jack the Ripper really was, and we believed it. One of the longest running mysteries was finally discovered and proven.

And then the movie came out and played it for gore.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, just like all the comics he created for ABC Comics (America’s Best Comics), was imaginative, insane, and all kinds of cool. It had vampires, it had Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde, it had all these Victorian era heroes and main characters from novels we’ve all had to read, and it was actually a new story about them. A team featuring Captain Nemo and the Invisible Man sounds like it should be stupid, but the comic was glorious.

And then the movie came out and played it for explosions and tried to be a blockbuster.

And Watchmen, his magnum opus, is the comic we will be discussing in detail as we fear and loathe from this point on until the release date of March 6th. If you look at all of his films and comics as separate entities, they will withstand the test of time.

His comics, I mean. The films based on his work, while somewhat entertaining at times, will not.

V for Vendetta, while an enjoyable movie with some really great scenes, is not a great film. Enjoyable yes, but the comic/graphic novel is outstanding.

Take a look at it and tell me if it’s not one of the best things, one of the most involved things you’ll ever read, and tell me that the book isn’t better than the movie.

Depending on who you ask, V for Vendetta is the Holy Grail of comics, and the movie is just a bastardized version of a great story, a story about a world and a government with too much power that is slowly taking everything over, and a man who wants to fight it.

I mean, how much more similar could it be to what we dealt with as a society for 8 years? A world spinning into chaos and despair and certain people wanted to fix things.

So as we inch closer and closer to the release of Watchmen, we are left wondering, what will happen?

It truly is the Holy Grail of Comic Books, one in which almost down the line comics fans and non-comics fans alike can agree that this is an amazing piece of literature, an amazingly well-crafted look at a society teetering on the brink of destruction, and again, a world that is allowing it’s government and it’s heroes way too much power.

It’s considered a deconstruction of superheroes, breaking them down into just human beings with strange powers, and ever since the release of this, all comics have aspired to be Watchmen, whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

It’s the most universally accepted comic, one you can find on college campuses in lit classes, in bookstores next to Twilight books, in grocery stores and Targets, and little specialty comic shops that smell like old paper.

It’s the book that all comics aspire to be because it has withstood 20+ years of people pouring over it, deconstructing the work, looking deeper and deeper into the meanings behind the words and the meanings behind the page structure and the meanings of every small nuance, and each year passes to give us something more from this book.

It made lists of greatest novels, greatest works of fiction, and it has been awarded numerous prizes for it’s work.

And the movie will be released on March 6th and appears to have the interests of the comic fan and the Watchmen fan at heart. But will it? It’s terrifying, to a certain degree, to think that a film that passed through the hands of two of my favorite directors, Aronofsky and Gilliam, is now in the hands of the guy who directed the remake of Dawn of the Dead, but alas, it’s coming.

And I don’t know whether to be scared or excited.

I will say this, Alan Moore is a genius.

Whether he wants to talk about it or not, whether he wants to be known as the creator of Watchmen or not, he will forever be the genius behind the comic that has driven hundreds and thousands and possibly millions of people to strive for more in what they read and what they create. He will forever be the genius behind the comic that swept up our imagination and made us take a closer look at our heroes.

And he will forever be known as the man who made us ask the question, who watches the Watchmen?

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 92

2009-01-30T09:52:00.000-08:00

The end of times, will it ever get here? Will any of us actually see this “supposed” end of times? And will it involve these GI Joe photos?

I doubt it.

According to certain calendars, certain religions and regions of the world, and an upcoming film from Roland Emmerich, 2012 is the year to be wary of now. 2012 is the year where everything is supposed to end.

December 12, 2012 (12/12/12) is the year when all the machines are supposed to rise up and fight against us, destroying us for relying so heavily on machinery and technology to rule our lives.

It all feels very much like a Stephen King novel. Or better yet, how about a Stephen King movie?

Like, say, Maximum Overdrive?

Who would have thought that there was any potential for that movie to ever come true? Besides Emilio Estevez and possibly the recently diseased Pat Hingle?

Maximum Overdrive.

2012 is the year to fear, according to the Mayan calendar. 2012 “marks the end of a 5126 year cycle on the Long Count calendar developed by the Maya,” and that was found on CNN.

The sun and the Milky way and everything else will line up, and at that point, soda machines will fire projectile Pepsi at us, big rig trucks will attack us and cause us to be stuck in dive diners in the middle of nowhere, pinball machines will shoot the little pinballs out at such a high speed that they will take your head off, and Yeardley Smith will appear in a film that has nothing to do with the Simpsons.

Again, that’s Maximum Overdrive.

Never in a million years did I think that that movie would ever come back into the lexicon of discussions, never in a million years did I stop while watching that movie and think anything about it except that the trucks looked cool and why in the hell was I watching this movie?

I mean, one of the trucks was fashioned after the Green Goblin from Spider-man comics, and now in Marvel Comics he’s the leader of all the military. That might be a sign of the times. Or the fact that AC/DC released a new album this past year and it had exclusivity for a time at Wal-Mart.

Aren’t these signs of the times?

Pat Hingle died recently. Emilio Estevez directed a movie and has become something of a figurehead in the Scientology department/religion. The Green Goblin is the head of the personal security and military forces and the Avengers in Marvel Comics. Yeardley Smith still has a job. AC/DC is back and 10 year olds are listening to their album.

Aren’t these signs of the end times?

So the movie 2012, if you haven’t already seen the teaser trailer for it, looks like every other movie Roland Emmerich has done. It deals with the end of the world so you could call it a sequel to The Day After Tomorrow. You could even call it a sequel to 10,000 BC if you really wanted (I’m sure that you don’t want to).

John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor are in it, which makes me want to watch it. But watching the teaser, all I could do was laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And then think about 46 & 2.

A monk walks quickly into his temple to ring a bell/gong. Then a massive tidal wave sweeps OVER the mountain and destroys everything in its path.

That’s it. That’s the teaser.

You’ll probably see this teaser or a form of it on Sunday during the Super Bowl if you watch it. I mean, what better place to make people afraid of the future, afraid of what’s coming up than the Super Bowl Sunday, when anything and everything can be hawked to these people for the sake of a buck.

I mean, besides 2012, we’ll get a commercial for Transformers 2: Electric Boogaloo in which the future will be destroyed by robots, and Terminator Salvation, again in which the future will be destroyed by robots (and this one is set in 2018), and GI Joe, in which the future will be destroyed by Channing Tatum’s acting abilities.

We have a lot of death and destruction heading our way this Sunday, and that has nothing to do with the football game even.

So I’m left wondering, why are people so interested in doomsday? In scenarios involving the death of all people on the world? In world ending, life-sacrificing movies where there is a chosen one who has to save us from destruction and certain death?

I know in my own mind that I crave these films and books and comics and cartoons because they make me feel terrible impending doom, which is the way I live every day anyway. I live my life with the express knowledge that I could die tomorrow or even in the next few seconds while typing this.

I could die of a gunshot wound.

I could die of an explosion.

I could die of some massively disgusting disease that destroys almost everybody in the world.

But in reality, I’ll probably die of something like cancer, heart disease, stress, or car crash.

These end of the world films show scenarios that 99% of us will never face. Scenarios that are exciting, scenarios that involve sacrifice and being a hero, scenarios that involve taking a stand and fighting for something you believe in.

I don’t imagine 2012 will, since they’re fighting glaciers and tidal waves, but look at other end of the world movies. Like Armageddon, Mad Max, the Terminator movies, movies that involve a hero or group of heroes fighting against certain death for something like saving the world or gasoline.

I’ll never be able to step foot in the Thunderdome.

I’ll never fight a giant robot or the devil.

I’ll never drill a hole in an asteroid and drop a nuke in it.

I’ll never blow up the Death Star and fight an intergalactic empire. Or zombies.

And that’s the point. The point of these films is to show us a world that is far removed from our own. One that has the potential to be similar to ours, but in reality is something completely out of the ordinary. Something that none of us will face in our lifetimes and our grandchildren will probably never face either.

The Day after Tomorrow and all the films like this that show events that could destroy us and don’t involve robots taking over or terrible actions taken by evil corporations and armies, these are the films that will scare the viewers to death and make them think, for at least 2 seconds, that they need to stop polluting the world, or they need to be nicer to their neighbors because they could be dead tomorrow.

But the Day After Tomorrow, that’s the day we win. That’s the day we stop global warming and stop the greenhouse effects and we make change in our world.

Maximum Overdrive is just a fun way to escape our real world problems and watch Emilio Estevez back when he was a viable star.

Maybe it’s time for a remake of that movie then? Maybe 2012 with John Cusack actually involves trucks and pinball machines taking over the world?

But while we’re discussing end of the world scenarios, take a look at the above photos from GI Joe. That is what a bad movie looks like. That is what the end of the world for someone who ever enjoyed GI Joe growing up looks like.

That is why that movie will be horrible. I mean, honestly, I don’t know whether to root for it to be awful and horrible, or to root against people seeing it, or to just sit back and think this looks like horrible dogshit.

Honestly, just look at that. Man. 2012 can’t get here soon enough. The end of the world, not the movie. I don’t think I can stand any more of these awful remakes/redos/cartoons made into movies. Horrible.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 91

2009-01-28T10:44:00.000-08:00

Rabbit, Run

Death. Death yet again hits it on the head.

I was going to write about a few things. I was going to write about Gitmo being closed, but I figured I could save that for another day as we’ve already been given varying degrees of answers on that.

I was going to write about which was better, margarine or butter, but decided against it (for the time being).

I was going to write about the Super Bowl, but really, I’m not sure I care enough about the game to write anything, except maybe the commercials, but who cares? Except for the awful GI Joe trailer we’ll see and the one-second Miller High Life commercials, I’m at a loss to even care.

So what do I write about?

Something I know. Something I know enough about to care. Something no one else seems to have mentioned on this site.

John Updike is dead.

I’ve written about death in recent memory more than I’ve written about it in years. It’s disgusting. To think that life is here for so many of us today and could be gone tomorrow. It’s better to burn out than to fade away, and no, Nirvana and Kurt Cobain are not the first place where that came from.

But the idea, the idea that life could be over tomorrow, what does that do to you? Does it make you feel like less of a human being, something that I struggle with daily, the thought that maybe I’m a creature and not really human?

Does it make you a robot? One on this earth for a specified amount of time only to disappear on one random day that you will never know is coming until the last minute.

In any event, what does that do to us? To you? To me?

John Updike is dead.

Most of us have read something by him. One of the Rabbit novels. Centaur. Witches or Widows of Eastwick.

We’ve probably seen a movie or two that he worked on or wrote a novel that got turned into that movie.

We’ve probably been forced in a classroom to sit and read through some of his short stories or Gertrude and Claudius or Brazil.

Or we’ve seen mention of him on the Simpsons in at least 2 episodes, one of which he ghost-wrote the biography of Krusty the Clown.

But did we really know anything about him? Is that why some of us are venting frustration that he is gone and some are not?

If you’ve read Witches of Eastwick and liked it, now is the time to read something of his. Or if you liked that terrible movie, read the book. It is leaps and bounds better than the movie, and I’m an unabashed Jack Nicholson fan.

But what about Updike? What about him kept me, the reader, enthralled? Made me want to keep reading and made me want to keep writing?

I was forced to, on occasion, read some of his novels, short stories, and other things he wrote. I was an English Major, so it makes sense that I was forced to do so.

But why did I keep reading him?

It seemed effortless. For him to switch gears almost constantly in every book he wrote, it seemed like he wasn’t forcing himself to do so. It just seemed like he could do it because he could do it.

He wrote science fiction. He wrote romantic sagas. He wrote epics. He wrote prose. He wrote short stories. He wrote historical fiction and historical non-fiction. He wrote religious novels. And he wrote books about the devil.

He wrote a series of novels about a man nicknamed Rabbit, and Rabbit, Run is one of those books you may have read, read excerpts from, or heard about. And if you’re like me, you may have enjoyed a part of it or it may have touched you.

It spoke to me, and I’ve read the entire series of Rabbit novels because of it. Because it was real. It felt like something that could happen to me and damn well probably would. It influenced me as a writer as it did so many others, and it influenced me as a man.

Rabbit, Run is a book with no ending. It leaves everything up in the air. It’s depressing, it’s honest, but most importantly, it’s real.

It’s influenced the reader in me and it’s influenced who I am today, just like everything Updike did. I’m not going to say he’s one of my favorites, he’s not Hunter or Chuck or Hempel or any other writer that I may hold in personal regard, but what I write and how I write it could be as easily attributed to him as it could anyone else.

Because it’s effortless. Because it’s real. Because it doesn’t at any point seem untrue or false or like he’s trying to tell a story that he has no right to tell.

That’s why I liked John Updike and that’s why I will continue to like John Updike.

And yet, here I am, yet again, talking about death. Talking about a figure who helped shape who I am and what I enjoy has passed on. Like so many others. Like George Carlin. Like Hunter Thompson. Like Johnny Cash and Jim Henson and Stan Winston and so many other heroes that I have had in my life.

What do you do once all your heroes are dead?

Do you stop living?

Do you stop fighting?

Or do you continue forward? Do you continue to make good on the promises you have made because you want to be someone else’s hero, someone else’s attainable truth or attainable position in life?

Do you keep fighting so that other people can see what it means to fight? To struggle? To achieve?

That’s why I will keep going on.

That’s why his death, while it affects me, will not destroy me.

Because life is meant to be lived. Enjoyed. Sought out and fought for and written about and described and made better for all those people that will follow you later in life.

This isn’t about giving up.

It’s about sticking to your guns and enjoying the ride.

So thank you John Updike. I enjoyed the ride. Good luck.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 90

2009-01-25T14:44:00.000-08:00

Gotta get back in time.

Part 90, in which we discuss the ins and outs of what will become known as the future. The future. Time travel.

Is it possible?

1.21 gigawatts, we all know what it means and we all know where it comes from. We all have been a part of it, and at least once a week, someone brings up this most holiest of trilogies.

Back to the Future.

You see, I'm stuck wondering about this film as Lost has decided to take a particularly interesting idea, time travel, time fissures, time paradoxes, and wrap that into the ongoing mystery of the show. And I'm left banging my head in denial as time travel is impossible, but I'm left with questions.

And when I have questions, I write a blog.

Whether to bore you, change you, make you aware of something, I write a blog and offer my opinion and it's here so let's get to it.

Back to the Future is where we start. It's not where everyone starts and it's not where everyone ends. But Back to the Future is where this blog begins. The reason?

Look back at that trilogy and then look at other trilogies that came out when we were children and tell me which still hold up. Which of those films hasn't been tainted in recent years by remakes, sequels, refurbishing or whatever George Lucas calls it.

Back to the Future is still in its original form. Untainted. Preserved. Beautiful.

Warts and all, it's still there for us to enjoy, unspoiled, unbastardized. We didn't have to suffer through a series of awful prequels that shamed us into giving up our love of something that we held dear, and we didn't have to suffer through a despicably terror-inducing sequel about aliens and a really stupid sidekick named Mutt.

No, we still have Back to the Future in its purest form. And I still love it.

But why? Why do any of us love it?

Why do we still dissect it? Why do we still try to understand the timelines and how in the hell Marty can be in so many different places all at once in the second film? Why do we do it?

Because like the films of old, it made us believe. It made us feel like a part of the film. It made us want to be a part of it and enjoy these people as real characters.

Now if you look at the upcoming spate of films like Transformers 2, GI Joe, whatever pile of shit Nicholas Cage is in next, I am Legend Sequel/Prequel (really, I'm not kidding), sequels, prequels, remakes, and mall cops, I'm left stunned. Stunned.

Absolutely appalled and stunned. I cannot place my finger on it.

Hollyweird is losing money. They are feeling the pinch of the recession just like every other aspect of the world around us, and yet, we aren't looking for new avenues in film. For every Wrestler and Slumdog Millionaire, we have Hotel for Dogs and Paul Blart Mall Cop and My Bloody Valentine 3D.

For every Gran Torino, we have Confessions of a Shopaholic and Bride Wars. For every Dark Knight, we have the Day the Earth Stood Still.

And they wonder why we as viewers want more.

The people that are out there, talking, making motions to make films and write books and have grown up in these worlds, they are the ones that are having their say. They are the ones throwing their hands into the air when we see the trailer for Harry Potter 18 and Star Trek Begins and everything else and just is left wondering, why?

Why more of the same? Why not something different?

Why not something better?

Why can't we go back to the golden age of cinema, hell, back to when films had a purpose other than just to make a shitload of money? Why?

Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.

They get a lot of blame placed on them, but it's true. To a degree.

If it hadn't been for Star Wars and Jaws, films that are made today like Con Air, the Rock, anything Michael Bay touches, may never have come up, may never have seen the light of day. But something else, surely something else, would have been made to make the summer blockbuster something necessary, right?

Surely if not for Spielberg and Lucas, then Woody Allen would have made Superman or Alfred Hitchcock would have made Batman and Stanley Kubrick would have made Spider-Man and Akira Kurosawa would have made Aliens, right?

If not for them, we never would have had James Cameron. But we also would have never had Titanic, so it's a losing argument.

So, what does this all have to do with Back to the Future and time travel and Lost?

A lot.

See, I can tie anything together.

Back to the Future is a series of films, as I mentioned, that remains untouched, preserved in my memory and not a film series that someone needs to go back in time and change for any reason. I still bite my tongue when saying that for fear that it might happen.

It's goofy, it's fun, the whole family can enjoy it, and it really wracks your brain with questions. And now, Lost has thrown the time travel wrench into its long-standing story, and I'm left scratching my head yet again.

In a good way.

According to Wikipedia, "Time travel is the concept of moving between different moments in time in a manner analogous to moving between different points in space, either sending objects (or in some cases just information) backwards in time to a moment before the present, or sending objects forward from the present to the future without the need to experience the intervening period (at least not at the normal rate)."

You got that?

But in my belief system, just like so many others, time travel is impossible. There is no way around it. You can't go back in time to something that has happened already because just by being there you change something. Just by stepping foot in a past event that you may have been a part of or maybe not, you change something.

Thereby creating an infinite number of parallel realities and universes and yous. The number is impossible to define, but by pure logic, that's the point. The point is you can't define it, just like the future.

You can't step foot in a time frame that hasn't been defined. Therefore, time travel is impossible.

Impossible.

That doesn't change my fascination with it. A lot of the shows, books, comics, movies, everything I love may revolve around time travel and it's possibility. In some way, shape or form. Most comic books have time travel plots, a ton of movies do too.

Donnie Darko, The Fountain, Back to the Future, Time after Time, I could keep going but there are too many to list. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3.

Lost has regained my fascination by including time travel. And for a show that never really loses it, it's just another reason to love the show. I constantly am in awe of it and constantly left wondering how in the hell it's going to end.

And that's the point of that. To keep us guessing. To make us a part of the experience. Not to make us lazy and passive.

That's where most of the movie and television industry is now, and that's why I'll never shut up about it. Because I don't feel interested in most things coming out. If it's a comic adaptation, I'll take a look. If it's a film by a favorite director or writer, I'll give it a shot. If it has a ridiculously awesome looking trailer that hooks me, I'll give it a try.

But if it's more of the lazy same-old same-old, forget it. I'm good. I'll stick to books and I'll stick to my own writing.

I would however like for time travel to become possible only for the sake of Hollyweird. Maybe they could go back and fix some of their problems. Maybe they could find a way to keep Michael Bay making Playboy films and never allow him to touch Bad Boys again.

Maybe the world would be safer. Maybe we'd all be alright.

I'll keep that as an image of hope for my own future.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 89

2009-01-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

When do we stop dreaming? When is it time to let go of our dreams and try to move onto something more tangible?

Should we ever stop dreaming? Should we ever just and honestly grow up and give up on those things we believe in so much?

I've talked about dreams before and I've talked about existential crises. This is a time for both. Our lives continue to end one minute at a time and I'm just not feeling it anymore.

I'm not feeling it.

Do you ever feel like you're watching yourself from the outside and you have no right to be? Or you're watching yourself and it's just so boring that you might want to scream? That you want to change the channel?

Welcome to my life.

Welcome to my nightmare.

It's not so much a dream anymore as it's becoming something worse. Something much worse.

But should I complain?

That's the question on the docket as I re-examine everything in my life this month. Just like every month past and every month to come. I need to take time out and look at everything around me and think, do I really have it so bad?

The reason this question is being asked as I'm sitting here, typing this, thinking about my life, and there are massive changes being felt all around me. I'm not talking about the presidential election as I'm sure there will be enough people talking about that in the upcoming days and weeks.

I'm talking about life.

I'm talking about what's going on around me.

I have a friend moving to Chicago in the upcoming weeks. I should be excited for him. I should be wishing him the best but instead I'm stuck wondering why isn't it me? Why isn't my life taking this massive change like moving away from your comfort zone and finding something new to do with your life?

I'm left being selfish.

But I am excited for him. I want him to succeed in the new place because he sure as hell deserves it and he sure as hell needs it. But the question then becomes: will it be a nightmare for him or will it be a good thing?

I don't know.

I'm left asking these questions because the total number of people I know who have been fired or laid off in the last year now teeters on the brink of double digits. The 9th one just found out this past week that his time is almost up.

I can't help but question why it hasn't been me.

I ask that, as you all know, as I write these diatribes about people I know. Places I've been. People I've worked with. And yet, here I am. And I'm not the most careful person in the world.

But I'm paranoid. Maybe that helps.

I'm paranoid to the point of no return, and yet here I am, living a life and passing month after month and getting older each and every day. In a life that I never expected to pass 20, let alone 25.

And here I am.

Living out of spite.

We've all been told to quit a number of times. That we weren't good enough. We weren't the best at anything. And that we should stop. Try something new. Give everyone a break and just take a chance on something else that people don't have to pay attention to.

But here I am.

In pseudo-originality and pseudo-celebrity, thanks to O'Neil, Jack, Gooch, Pat, Kate, and quite a few others who pay attention to this. Thanks to the fine people at Ink who put my blogs in their weekly circulation from time to time.

People know who Momar Van Der Camp is.

But most of those people don't know who I am.

And it's strange to think that we're not one and the same. That I've invented this other creature named Momar, this narrator, this person who's getting celebrity and getting people to pay attention to him.

It's strange.

It's exciting.

It's like a nightmare of my own creation.

So I've started to try and change those things, and as I've mentioned, things are starting to change. I won't tell you exactly what it is until it's set in stone, so just be on the lookout. You've seen looks at it. You've seen links to it.

You'll know soon enough.

Like June/July.

Summertime will be the best time.

But right now, it's a nightmare and Momar is the dreamer.

So do we continue to dream? Do we fight the need for dreams and drug our brains into submission as we sleep? Or do we allow our brains to flourish and create some vast mindscape that we have enough trouble getting out of?

Do we stifle ourselves and our creativity and let our brains shut down and our world close off? Or do we open our brains to something potentially wonderful and scary as all hell?

That's the question.

That's why Momar exists. That's why we still Fear and that's why there is still a need for loathing after all this time. Because the world is not the best place. The world is not safe. The world is not a place that allows dreamers to live and dreamers to flourish.

The world will stifle you.

So as always, it's your choice. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you you.

If you dream, dream big. Nightmare big. Live big and love big and fail big.

You only get one shot. Do it right.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 88

2009-01-14T10:44:00.000-08:00

Let’s forget for a second that it’s the New Year. Let’s forget the idea of resolutions.

Let’s forget all that nonsense and look at something this blog has looked at since the very beginning.

Change.

The idea that a change is necessary to keep your own life on an even keel.

That idea, that change is necessary, that change is a part of your life, that is something you are going to see in new and interesting ways everyday. Every single day leading up to the inauguration and every single day until people stop thinking about their New Year’s resolutions and jaunt back to McDonald’s instead of going to the gym that day.

Change.

You see, it’s been awhile since I’ve been here and I have very good reasons for that. A lot of them are personal, but all of them deal with changes that are going on in my life.

Changes that I have started in my own life.

Things that once upon a time I was waiting on them to happen, now I’m making them happen.

Changes.

You see, this year, 2009, could be a good year for me. But it all depends on me. And I’m sick and tired of people acting like change is all about what they can get from other people or what they can do for other people.

I’m sick of it.

Change is all you. It’s all on you to do the things that you want. Life is all about what you want and who you and what you should be doing and not about what other people should be doing for you.

But society shows us that we are supposed to be selfish and believe that we deserve things from other people. We deserve for things to be handed to us just like they’re handed to people in television reality shows and just like they’re handed to athletes and beautiful people and people who win awards or people who win the lottery.

It’s not.

Society is not going to ever hand a bucket of money over to you. If you live to be a million, don’t for a second think that something like that is going to happen in your life.

Because you’re deluding yourself.

But if you stop for a second and start being a little selfish, in a different way, you might actually be able to make the change you so drastically desire.

It won’t be something related to your city. To your church. To your little small swath of society.

It will be for you.

So be a little selfish. Take a look at the resolution that you made this year, whatever it was, and be realistic about it.

Are you really going to win American Idol? Or lose 130 pounds by standing still and doing nothing for yourself?

Are you going to become a movie star? To get a different job? Travel the world?

You’re not going to if you’re sitting there and reading this right now.

So get up and do something for yourself. If you wish to keep reading, I’ve got more things to say.

Change comes from within. You can talk about how you want to change the world all you want, but until you do something in your own life, you may as well give up now. Because it ain’t going to work.

I will be the example of what I’m talking about.

This past year, I made a few drastic changes to myself.

I stopped wearing glasses. Big deal.

I started shaving my head regularly and doing drastically different things with my hair every couple of months. Whoopdeedoo.

I started writing again. Which you all certainly know.

I started getting tattoos.

I moved. Again.

But see, these are all minute things. Changes that we all go through. Changes that we may all want to do but never find the time to actually do them.

I started finding the time. I started writing and now things are changing with that.

I’m finding a small slice of celebrity out of something I didn’t expect to turn into anything other than idiocy and a time-waster, but I undertook this small blog almost a year ago and here we are, still kicking and screaming.

My goal is to hit 100 once the year mark hits. So I will continue writing.

Beyond that, my writing has taken new forms. Forms that I always followed but never had any success in, because I kept to them, I am finding small slices of success.

I am going to San Diego in July for Comic-Con because of something that I am a part of and I am going to Santa Monica in March for the CUT! Film Festival, for another thing I’m a part of.

It’s all gravy at this point.

But see, this is me being selfish.

I knew that I wanted something different in my life, so I never gave up. I wanted to lose weight, in 3 months I’m down 40 pounds. I wanted to change the way I dressed, I started dressing more like myself. I wanted to do something different and now I am a part of something so completely strange and exciting that I still can’t wrap my head around it.

But I wanted that change and now I have it.

What change do you want and to what degree will you go to achieve it?

One of my friends is moving to Chicago for his wife and her job. His change will be big, drastic, exciting. And friendship will suffer to a degree because he is moving there.

But that is a change that doesn’t mean a death knell.

We all go through these changes. Small, large, extensive life-changing events and small little things that are so small you may never even notice them. But they’re there.

You just have to know where to look.

Right now I’m telling you that you don’t have to think about the outside world when someone asks you what you want to change. Think inside yourself first. Be the change first. And then, and only then, can you achieve any sense of change outside of you.

That’s the idea.

Be your own change and the world will start to react to that. In however a small fashion, the change will come.

You just have to know where to look.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 87

2008-12-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

Only by the Night

The music of the year, in this humble blogger's opinion. Sure, it's again not a Top Ten. I'm not saying it's the best across the board. It's just the music I liked this year.

So as always, it's my choice what I listen to and if you don't agree with it, great. Hit me up with suggestions and I'll check them out. Music is another passion of mine.

To start, here are the honorable mentions this year:

Mars Volta: The Bedlam in Goliath
The Black Keys: Attack and Release
Wolf Parade: At Mount Zoomer
Kanye West: 808s and Heartbreak
Tapes n Tapes: Walk it Off
Fleet Foxes: Fleet Foxes
Loyalty to Loyalty: Cold War Kids
Scars on Broadway: Scars on Broadway
MGMT: Oracular Spectacular
Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend

All of them great albums, but not my most played. These were albums that I really liked and loved listening to and played often, just ones that I didn't necessarily get into as much as the rest. I did pawn them off on other people and helped propel love for these bands from others. That's always a plus.

I'm a pusher man.

Now, for the rest of the list, I figured I would break them into a form of category. It might make them a little easier to follow, a little better to enjoy.

So for you lovely readers out there, here are my favorite albums of 2008, in roughly no particular order.

Rap/Hip Hop

I wouldn't really consider these next few albums to be Rap. I'm more a proponent of Hip Hop, and the next few groups seem more hip hop in my opinion, but I suppose it works to mention them in the same fashion, eh?

In no particular order:

N.E.R.D.: Seeing Sounds
Atmosphere: When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint that Shit Gold
Del tha Funkee Homosapien: The Eleventh Hour

All three of these albums have songs that I dig and played to death. Everybody knows Del is my favorite rapper/hip hop artist living or dead, mainly from Deltron 3030. I love everything the man touches. The Eleventh Hour is just another great record from one of the smartest rappers alive. He touches it and the rhymes are gold.

N.E.R.D. was a surprise this year, as their last release was so terrible. I didn't think they had another great album in them, but they surprised me. A lot of booty shaking can be done with this album, just ask anybody. And if you don't want to, go somewhere that might have a Jukebox. A lot now have Everybody Nose from this record. Play it and see what happens.

Atmosphere is another hip hop group that I dig. The rhymes of Slug and the production of Ant are just perfect. Check out the track You and try not to enjoy this record. This was up there for album of the year status. It truly was. I enjoy everything they do and when you get white boys from Minnesota that know how to rap and how to make rap music, you have to pause and think, really? That's why I gave them a try and this album is another great entry from them.

Indie/Experimental Rock

Here's another strange category. One that I don't necessarily agree with but it works for the most part. A group of great bands fit into this category in one fashion or another, so here they are, in no particular order.

ASHES dIVIDE: Keep Telling Myself It's Alright
The Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely
Bloc Party: Intimacy
TV on the Radio: Dear Science

Another group of strong contenders for album of the year. Each and every one of these albums played in my car so much that I nearly ruined them. So let's begin.

Billy Howerdel's offshoot band from A Perfect Circle completely took off. I saw them at Rockfest and it was the only reason I went. It was worth it, just to meet Billy and shake his hand and tell him how great the show was. You know, be an idiot fan. But the guy was a guitar tech and now he leads his own band, more power to the guy. The album itself plays like a lot of A Perfect Circle and makes me long for the days of listening to those records and gaining meaning in my life from them.

Just like other idiot fans. But Keep Telling Myself was a contender for record of the year based on the way it went from hard rock to experimental to alternative all within the same album, playing to the mindsets of the various groups of fans that listen to his stuff (goth, emo, hardcore, etc.). It worked, and I will buy another album if he releases another.

The Raconteurs' new album was so much better than their first that it made my eyes bleed. This was another easy choice as Jack White showed his awe-inspiring guitar work with this album and almost disappeared into the band this time, giving the band a lot more show. It wasn't Jack White, Brendan Benson, and a backup band, it was the Raconteurs. Very indie, very good, and I wish I could have seen them live.

Bloc Party will have a spot on any end of the year list for me, as will TV on the Radio, so long as they keep putting records out. Both bands experiment with the form of rock more than the above listed bands. They expand on what came before and use a lot of electronic influences to move their indie rock fanbase away from what they know and freak them out a little bit.

And wouldn't a Hunter Thompson fan like freaking people out?

Check out Mercury by Bloc Party and anything off TV's album. Both will probably be part of year-end lists, and if not, then they should be. Dancing Choose is a classic from TV on the Radio and you should all take a listen to these bands. They might not be perfect and they might not be the best musicians or songwriters ever, but dammit if they don't make good records.

The next couple albums will all be seen as they are, on their own. They fit into most of the categories above, but I listened to them so much that I just didn't feel it was right.

Nine Inch Nails: Ghosts I-IV and The Slip

Both albums came out as digital downloads first (as did quite a few of the above, a trend that I really love). Both are vastly different and have vastly different tastes.

I've mentioned this before, but I'm sad in a way that George Bush will be out of office this upcoming year as that might stop the flow of Trent Reznor music. And that will utterly suck.

Ghosts I-IV is a soundtrack for people who love soundtracks. Pure music. Pure unadulterated awesome that is strictly music with no lyrics (or the very minimalistic of lyrics) and it works. It's eerie, it's crazy, it's beautiful, and listening to it all at once gives you 2 hours of crazy good music to write to or read to or literally do anything to.

The Slip is even better. If you put them on at the same time, I have this feeling that your head might explode. It might. But the Slip is the album for people who like Trent more when he sings. It's the album he seemed to have made in a day and released in two. And it's still great. Listen to the subtle mistakes (whether intentional or unintentional) and hope that this is where music is going. Free. No corporate bullshit. Just download and play.

Does It Offend You, Yeah?: You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into

Just wow. Just like Justice, Chromeo, MSTRKFT, and other more electronic bands that I love, they do remixes of more popular bands and just make the songs better.

They are insanely talented and their songs talk to the movie nerd inside of me. Songs like Dawn of the Dead, Weird Science, Battle Royale, and Attack of the 60 ft. Lesbian Octopus, they are downright goofy and great.

The music is outstanding. Dawn of the Dead is one of my favorite singles of the year, hands down. Just hearing that single pushed me to buy the album, and I was happy as hell that I did.

I've listened to this CD more than any of the above, and only right behind the last two on my list. It's one to enjoy. Give it a try and this dance punk group might make their way into your favorites too.

Eagles of Death Metal: Heart On

What can I say about EofDM? What can I say that I haven't already said? I love this group. I love everything about them. They make me want to dance and rock out at the same time.

They make me want to grow a mustache, slick my hair back, bust out my guitar, and just lay some funky grooves on people.

They make me want to just jump up and boogie no matter where I am or no matter what I'm doing. I love this band. It would have been album of the year if not for the next band, but if you need proof that you should listen to this band, strictly off this album, check out all their sexually charged songs such as Anything Cept the Truth, (I Used to Couldn't Dance) Tight Pants, High Voltage, I'm Your Torpedo, Heart On, or pick up any of their two older records and just dig the shit out of them.

I've been a fan since they appeared on Desert Sessions (way the fuck back in a time called the 90s), and I like being able to say that yes, I met them too. BOC has MASSIVE hands, Dave Catching rocks the mohican like no other, Hot Damn Sweet Sam Malone is one wicked ass chick drummer, Joey the Sexy Mexi is another kick ass drum god, and Jesse the Devil Hughes looks like a rock and roll William H Macy or Ned Flanders. You pick. And he's the coolest cat you could meet and will sign just about anything and pose with just about anybody or thing. Trust me. He's truly awesome.

And now, truly my favorite album of 2008:

Kings of Leon: Only by the Night

I've talked about this album before. I turned my best friend onto this band just by playing 2 songs and he loves this album more than anything he's bought this year.

It's a classic, from top to bottom, but the first 7 songs are so great that they could have just put dead air after number 7 and still this would be my favorite album of the year. Sex on Fire you've all heard, great album.

Crawl is amazing.
Closer is great.

But Use Somebody is one of my favorite songs of the year, if not my favorite. Everything about this release has forced me to take a closer look at this band, past the two albums of theirs that I own, and put me in love with another band.

Another band to follow.

Take a listen to this album and know, this is what rock is supposed to sound like. Not like GNR or the new Metallica or Veloci-Jesus forbid, Staind or Creed or Nickelback. This album is rock. This is what it's supposed to sound like. Stripped down. Bare. And great.

Next time, film and music disappointments of the year. Enjoy.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 86

2008-12-28T12:22:00.000-08:00

That's the UK Poster there. It was released last November 30th in the UK.

Top movies of the year. And notice I didn't say Top ten. Or best of the year. Or worst of the year. Because these aren't all movies that will make any lists. These aren't all movies that people will ever even see.

A lot of these are just the movies that I thought were the most entertaining. The most watchable. And the ones that I have watched the most this year.

We all know where I live. And where I live doesn't afford me the opportunity of seeing such films as The Wrestler, Gran Torino, JCVD, and countless others until some time in the next year.

I didn't get to see Slumdog Millionaire. Or Let the Right One In. I chose not to see Twilight and I never ever will watch it.

I never got a chance to see In Bruges even though I've been told countless times I should see it.

Hell, I didn't even get to see Gonzo, the documentary about Mr. Hunter S. Thompson, a man whose life I have followed daily. Or Choke, a movie version of one of my favorite books. This was a year spent trying to do too much and not seeing all the movies that I wanted to see.

I'm not complaining. I'm really not. It's just been a year. I can't believe it's already been another year.

I will start with this one though:

The Dark Knight

I spent the months leading up to the film talking about it. Discussing it. Looking and poring over it for the minutiae and trying to decipher any potential secret messages. I spent a long time trying to decide what I thought of it and how it could possibly stand up to what I made of it in my mind.

It was the best movie of the year. In my opinion. It lived up to all the expectations. It was a comic movie that was unlike any other. It was a real adult version of a comic that didn't mock the viewer who happened to be a comic reader and didn't force the viewer who wasn't to attempt to be one.

It was an honest to Velocijesus good movie and great comic adaptation. And one of the all-time best.

Years from now people will stop comparing every comic movie that gets released to Superman and instead compare it to this. And it's already started with the comparisons that Spirit has been getting. Too bad that movie looks all kinds of suck.

Next on the list, two movies that didn't get wide releases at all but two movies that found there way into my brain and into my favorite movies of all-time:

The Nines
Southland Tales

Both films are enjoyable. They are frustrating. They make you think. They make you scratch your head.

And both movies really are hard to follow unless you pay attention. They don't give you anything up front. They don't just explain everything outright to you. They make you work for it.

And I love movies like that.

Movies that challenge you. Movies that make you work for meaning and don't just say HERE IT IS.

Movies that make you want to watch them again and find things that you may have missed.

Every time I watch Southland Tales I pick up on more things. Other nuances. Little subtle hints that Richard Kelly gave to the viewers and didn't just belabor to show you. The soundtrack is one of the best and it even made me like Moby.

Plus, after my last viewing of this, I found someone worthy of a shot at impersonating Barack Obama: Dwayne Johnson. Trust me and watch the movie and tell me there aren't a few instances in the film where he could honestly portray him on one of the comedy shows and do a fine job of it.

Tropic Thunder
Pineapple Express
Role Models

These three films are the three fun films of the year. They are goofy, they are funny, they are just little surprises in an otherwise turd-filled movie year.

When we were given crap like Step Brothers, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Semi-Pro, Zohan, Love Guru, Meet Dave, and the list goes on, to have three actually funny comedies that were set up as comedies, all of them R-rated, you have to hand it to them. These were actually good movies too.

Pineapple Express is one of my favorite movies of the year. Hands down. It was funny. It was action-packed. And Danny McBride looks just like one of my best friends in this film and a little like him in Tropic Thunder so it's one of those instances where you're watching the film and you look over to make sure it's not the same person next to you.

But James Franco and Matthew McConaughey and Seann William Scott are the surprises this year. Franco dominated Pineapple Express. His stoner was amazing. The scene where he cries eating the cheeseburger is, for some reason, one of the funniest moments in a film all year. And Franco is commonly known as a serious actor, so to see him in this film, with some of the best lines (besides McBride) alongside an actor I'm completely sick of (Rogen), you just have to give him credit for making this movie much better than it would have been had it been directed by, oh I don't know, Judd Apatow or Kevin Smith?

Matteo in Tropic Thunder was a surprise moreso than Cruise and Downey. Both good nonetheless, but McConaughey was great. He was funny. He was on-mark. His idiot agent with the idiot son was great. His need to give his client Tivo was hysterical. He was perfect. And I've never liked him in ANYTHING before. Ever.

Seann William Scott was in two movies I loved this year, Southland Tales and Role Models. And he was great in both. A Messiah and a complete asshole, he worked some range this year. Yes he played the idiot party animal like usual in Role Models, but that movie was funny. Much funnier than Zack and Miri and a much better all-around movie than quite a few others this year.

Burn After Reading
Be Kind Rewind

Two more movies by directors that I love that did not disappoint.

I liked Pitt better in Burn after Reading than I did him in Benjamin Button and I liked Jack Black better in Be Kind Rewind more than I did him in Tropic Thunder.

But to watch these movies, movies that didn't really get much credit yet and might not get any, and just laughing my ass off while watching them, it was great.

Burn After Reading is one of those movies where getting prepared for it you don't know what to expect and as the movie continues on you have no clue what to expect. But it's hysterical. Clooney and Pitt and J.K. Simmons (one of the finest comedic actors living today) give great performances and McDormand is outstanding, as usual, and Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich are surprising as all hell in this movie about people falling out of love with each other and espionage shit going down.

The Coens know how to make a movie about idiots and make it funny. Another great performance from Richard Jenkins (sadly overshadowed by that shitty Step Brothers).

Be Kind Rewind was just a good movie. Hands down. I like the cast. I love the premise. And the director is one of the most interesting talents in Hollywood today. Won't make any ten best lists, but it was enjoyable.

Iron Man
Incredible Hulk
Punisher: War Zone

I'm a Marvel Comics fan. And I loved all three. Iron Man would have been the best of the year had it not been completely outshined by the amazing Dark Knight. No real reason to say anything more as I already reviewed this movie once this year, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The other reason it wasn't the best of the year: Downey was great but was playing himself in a suit of armor. And the majority of the plot and the rest of the movie was just a little too on the nose and tried a little too hard for my tastes.

Incredible Hulk, while boring, gave all the smashing. I would go into more depth, but the movie was dumb fun and that's all you need to know.

Punisher War Zone, just like Rambo this year, two of the most gory, violent, and insane films to watch in theaters. Punisher was dumb. It was stupid. It had crappy acting, crappy directing, and a shitty soundtrack full of loud, thumping, death metal.

But the movie itself was fun. It was violent because it was supposed to be. The Punisher looked like the Punisher. He looked like someone to be scared of. He looked like someone to genuinely flee in terror from.

It had some of the loudest gunfire in movie history and some of the most insane death scenes this side of Rambo's 50-cal attack scene. One guy got blown to bits with a rocket launcher in Punisher.

I laughed. I laughed at it's sheer insanity and I don't care what critics say, I enjoyed it. No 98-pound weakling as the Punisher this time and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Plus, it didn't have any dumb bullshit like Hellboy 2 where the director tried really hard to cash in on his Pan's Labryinth success while using a big-red superhero demon to make more money. That movie was just dumb.

Pure and simple.

CJ7
Wall-E

CJ7 was directed by Stephen Chow and is amazing. I loved it. It was a kid's movie in Chinese and I loved it. I loved reading the subtitles. I loved the story. I loved the special effects. I loved the cheese factor.

I love everything about this movie.

I love that it was one of those movies that you see and you know what it is and when other people start to talk about it you can say, later on, that you had seen it way back when. But even beyond that, I love everything about this movie. I love the scenery. I love the sense of wonder that can be felt in this film that quickly reminds you of Gremlins or ET and then says, but wait, this is the crazy Chinese guy who did Kung Fu Hustle.

So it's great.

On the English-language side of things, Wall-E is probably one of the best animated films of all-time. Sure, it had a message about pollution and taking care of the planet and all that environmental stuff, but I still love it.

I can look past the message and not be stuck, hip-deep in allegory, when I watch the film because it's just a movie.

It's a movie about two robots that fall in love and a society that is going to take action and make the world a better place.

It's beautiful, even moreso in Blu-ray. But it was an outstanding movie. One that wants to make you think and really wants you to get the message but you just have to love it.

You have to look inside and see the kid in you and just accept the film as a piece of cinema and enjoy the crap out of it.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Like the title suggests, it is a curious thing. I'm still trying to decide what I thought of this film.

Did I love it? Did I hate it? Was it awesome? Was it boring?

Was it everything everyone is making it out to be?

Or was it something more?

Brad Pitt did an excellent job. He really did. He made me believe in the character of Benjamin Button and he played it close to the chest.

It wasn't hammy like his partner's performance in Changeling and it wasn't over-the-top like her performance in Wanted.

It was great. He was great.

Cate Blanchett probably looked her best in this film with all the special effects really helping her to look her best as well as Brad to look his.

The soundtrack was amazing. The special effects, the scenery, the entirety of the film was a thing of beauty. But the story itself is where I'm stuck. I'm still curious about that.

There were things that felt like too much. I hated the people in the theater behind me and yelled at them a number of times to shut up as they seemed to just be there to watch and laugh at the absurdity of the film and not be taken away by it's fable story.

So that took me out of the experience a little bit.

But the idea that the daughter is reading the diary on the mother's deathbed just seemed like too much melodrama for me. Like the movie could have been handled better maybe with Blanchett reading it for herself or just having the movie start with Pitt telling the story.

The sidestory with Tilda Swinton seemed a little unnecessary, but again, showed Benjamin a new part of the world.

The stuff with his birth father could have all been excised. It was pointless and again melodramatic, but Pitt did his best in these scenes and did not overdo it. He was amazing in this movie.

So again, I'm still curious about this one. I loved the film. I really did. I love everything the director has touched and will see each of his films, no matter what they're about.

But I feel like this movie needs to be seen again and processed, but will I sit through it in theaters for another 3 hours? Maybe not.

Again, I'm still curious about this one.

Alright, so next time we'll get to the worst movies of the year, some of which were briefly mentioned in this here blog. See ya in a few and keep reading. Music is on its way as well.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 85

2008-12-22T12:25:00.001-08:00

I had originally written this blog entry 6 months ago, but I decided to hold off on it until I could gather some more respect and a little more dignity from it and look like a really cool guy by posting it now.

No, wait, that's right. I waited six months to post it because I am a douchebag. Also, when I say it's original, I mean it. Even though only a half of one paragraph could potentially be attributed to me and the rest would be attributed to someone else.

You see, when I set out to create this blog, this look at the world around us, I decided to do something different. I wanted to change things. I wanted to create a blog that had meaning, that had a purpose, that wasn't going to be used for the point of mocking someone openly and criticizing something so blatantly.

But...

Therein lies the problem.

I have never come out and stated what my real name is. Nor will I ever.

I have never come out and stated what my job is. Nor will I ever.

I haven't done a lot of things to prove any of this is real, but when you can read the entry by the person being mocked so vividly and realize, wow, what the hell? There's the problem.

I've stepped away from the blogging world for a little while now. I thought I was finished. I thought I had nothing to say. There is nothing worse than a happy person trying to write like a depressed and sheltered writer strictly for the purpose of selling ad-space or words.

I'm happy. It's a strange feeling to be happy. I have a lot of things that seem to be working in my favor right now and in the face of Christmas and the holidays that is a feat to behold.

And I'm not depressed. That's not the purpose of my writing this. The purpose of my writing this, by posting a response if you will to another person's blog, is simple.

It's all been for nothing.

http://www.inkkc.com/michael+gomez/blog/2943

I wrote a blog about the death of one of my heroes when it happened and I was sad. I wasn't trying to do anything more than show he was a hero, I was giving space to a legend. I wasn't trying to get someone's sympathy for my own pain. In fact, you can read my blog about George Carlin on my archived blogs. It doesn't matter.

I used his words as a way to tell a story and show why I loved his work. I didn't use it to fill out the entirety of the blog.

It's sick. It's shameful. It's wrong.

You see, I've been a strong proponent for change. For the new. For something exciting and different and vibrant. Something we can all be proud of. I've been a strong supporter in freedoms like freedom of speech and religion and whatever other freedoms you could possibly think of.

But when someone who claims to be something they most certainly are not and claims to be funny and claims to be hip and claims to be the new kid in town decides to tell a story that just seems complete douche, I have to talk about it. I have to touch on it. I have to bring it up.

Because it is douche. It is sad. It is shameful. It's a paltry attempt at comedy and gathering respect and dignity from people who should feel sad for you just for your complete lack of talent. And that's the point.

The point of all of this is simple. Don't call something original if it's not original in the slightest. Don't say something is brilliant before you tell us what it is. Don't tell everyone that you are the funniest motherfucker this side of the planet and then write some horribly douchey thing about finding true love.

Because it's not funny. It just reads like something you wrote in middle school.

It looks like times they are a-changing but sadly people that think they are the best and the coolest and the smartest and the funniest, those people will always be around. They will always pose in pictures with a girl who should know better and they will look like uber-assholes in the pictures.

Those men who don't even really look like men any more but look more like tanned Ken dolls are the douches I speak of and they are the reason this blog will continue.

I have a renewed sense of duty. A renewed sense and a renewed need to change the world.

So let's get this going.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 83-84

2008-12-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

Apparently I have some editing that needs to be done to some of the bottom ones. Whoops. Here's the first two from December and stay tuned for something NEW! Ah.

Part 83

Declared a recession, and all we have to talk about is Christmas cheer? We can do better than that, right?

Let’s call this the however many blogs of Christmas I decide to write, and the first one gets to be the kick-off, where we discuss, of all things:

BLACK FRIDAY

When I worked retail, and I worked 8 years of customer service and retail jobs, in fact, I still work in a customer service influenced corporation/industry, I worked Green Friday (which is what it was called when I started). Green Friday, has such a better ring to it, less foreboding and less agonizingly painful.

Green for money.

It made sense.

But then people started to call it Black Friday. I understood that too. Mainly because working in retail you don’t see much of the green, but you see a lot of the darkest parts of working in retail.

I worked at any and all retail stores you can think of. You name it, I worked there. And I probably worked there the day after Thanksgiving, the eponymous Black Friday.

One day in particular I worked from 345 in the morning til 1 in the morning. Roughly a 20 hour day, if you take out the lunches and breaks I took. Wasn’t a particularly bad day, just one of the worst of my life.

I never saw someone shot. Or trampled to death. But I did witness cart fights. Cat fights. People screaming at each other about cutting in line and people screaming at each other about jumping in front of them while shopping. People getting into damn near fist fights over dolls and electronics and people line-jumping and gaining the ire of every person near them in the store.

I had fun with it for the most part.

I saw people rob the stores and I chased people out. I got reprimanded for chasing people out and following them to the parking lot. I did everything in my power to make those days memorable for myself, but they were made memorable for me by the people shopping there, by the people waiting at the door when I approached the store as early as humanly possible, and the people I worked with.

There was never any holiday cheer for me this time of year. My wife hates that. She wants me to be as cheerful and easygoing about Christmas as I can, but you know, it’s been tough.

Though this year, I count my blessings.

I didn’t get trampled to death at Wal-Mart.

And before you think I’m making light of his death, I’m not. I’m disgusted that people killed someone over toys, over electronics, over deals on things they don’t even really need.

Not to mention these people had to be told to leave by police after the incident occurred because they felt it was their right to keep shopping even after this poor man was killed.

First thing my wife said to me when we found out about this was thank you for not working retail this year.

But I never had it that bad. Sure I had crazy crowds and crazy people and sure I had to deal with screaming babies and idiots all day, but I never was trampled. I never dealt with that kind of crazy.

I never got shot at in a Toys R Us.

It’s so strange to me.

I looked at the ads, and I couldn’t find anything that was that worthy of going apeshit crazy over. I could be wrong. I don’t feel the need to wake up earlier than the sun to go stand in line for a computer or some form of electronic that I might use once in my life and never look at again.

But people get like that.

And not only that, but the government finally declared that this has been a recession, since December 2007, and we’re looking at things to get worse. It’s all going downhill from here.

What I’m having trouble understanding is why Black Friday is still just one or two days of sales? Why haven’t these big lot stores figured out that it is insanity to have all of the best shopping deals of the year on one day, sometimes for only a four hour period, when people are getting killed, getting into car accidents, fist fights, getting involved in felonious acts and going to jail over what is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year?

Maybe the deals should go on for over a week or two so that people can get the deals, so that stores can get the foot traffic, and so that people aren’t murdering each other in the streets over the last Wii Fit or the last digital camera for 20 bucks.

Maybe it would make sense to open up supply and demand to a little bit of thinking and incorporate some kind of idea that belongs to common decency and a society that believes in treating everyone like human beings?

It just boggles my mind.

I had a discussion with my dad about this recently. We both think it’s going to get worse. When people see deals now, they will fight you over it because the way the economy is tanking. I don’t completely fault the people fighting over these things and these deals. I don’t fault them because I don’t have kids. I don’t know what it feels like to have to constantly be asked for a new toy or the hottest thing on the shelves, or have my kids ask me for it the day before Christmas.

I don’t know how that works.

I do know first-hand what it feels like to feel like the world is getting ready to swallow you whole. Or what it feels like to lose a job and still have people rely on you.

It’s tough.

That’s why I’m not judging the people involved. Yes, it’s insane that people trampled someone to death or that two people shot and killed each other at Toys R Us. But the economy and the way the world is is doing strange things to people. People may have just lost their jobs and need to do everything in their power to make Christmas still be special for their kids.

Others may be on the verge of losing their homes and want so bad to be able to give their kids something to look forward to in the event that they kicked onto the streets. Others may be so scared that their rights are being taken away by ridiculous laws and amendments that they have to spend this last Christmas together and make it special before they’re torn away from each other.

I don’t know.

All I know is that supply and demand is what is causing this. People want something so bad but the supply is short. So Best Buy or Target or whoever puts it on sale for the low low price and promises it will be in store, so people freak out. They have to get that Wii. They have to get the best deal possible so that they can buy that toy for their kids and make this the best Christmas ever.

And the stores only promise to have it on sale for 4 hours, one day only.

It breeds chaos. Disruption. Violence. And people start to break. It’s common that if you put enough people together that mob mentality takes hold of them and knocks them down to a lower level of humanity. They may not have thought straight. One person pushes on the door, thinking they’re going to get in first, and then another, and another, until everyone is pushing on the door and a poor man who was only a temporary worker was crushed to death.

Maybe we should blame everyone for this. Was it really necessary that one man should die so that your children or family can have a great Christmas? What about his?

It all boils down to choice. You have a choice how you act. What you do. How you see things in these situations. Take a step back and look at the big picture. Is another person's life not worth more than a deal for Christmas? Shouldn't we be thinking before we tear down a door and kill someone?

Shouldn't we be humans and help other people this time of year, and spread joy to them as opposed to taking away a member of their family?

I know that this is called Christmas Cheer, but I really hate this time of year. With my 25^th birthday right around the corner, it makes me think of all the lost promises and failed days and forgotten, wasted time. So bah humbug. Maybe next time I’ll have something better to say but I still have a bitter taste in my mouth from yet another ridiculous Black Friday.

*********************************************

Part 84

I'm not a big fan of Christmas.

I'm not a big fan of Christmas movies.

There are just so many schmaltzy things I can take in a year and when Christmas movies try to shove all of that schmaltz into one 2 hour production, it bothers me. It pisses me off.

Plus, having a birthday around Christmas really screws you over. Going on 25 years now and nothing has changed in that aspect. Another birthday is on the way and another massive letdown is right around the corner. Which isn't fair to the people that are going to try and make my birthday better. But, and this is a big but, that's not what this blog is about.

This one is about Christmas movies.

Some are actual movies that revolve around Christmas.

Some are movies that have Christmas-y things in them.

And a few are just movies that I plan to watch or have watched on Christmas.

Cinematical wrote their blog today about Christmas movies for people who hate Christmas movies. This will be a bit similar, but definitely not exact. I promise.

Ernest Saves Christmas

What a great movie. What a stupid movie. What a good way to spend your Christmas holiday, watching Ernest save the holiday when Santa gets arrested. The whole movie has Ernest as a taxi driver in Florida who picks up Santa at the airport. The rest of this film deals with a girl who's a runaway and Ernest losing his job because Santa has no cash.

So Santa is a deadbeat and Ernest has the spirit of Christmas.

Santa gets arrested, Ernest learns he still has Santa's sack of toys, and Ernest, like the name of the film, has to save Christmas. And it involves a Santa Clause-ian ending with a new Santa getting the job.

Dumb movie. Completely stupid. But as a kid, I loved this piece of crap. It actually is one of those Christmas movies that I enjoyed as I genuinely used to love the Ernest movies growing up. They were just fluff films that made you laugh and you didn't have to sit and think about. Plus, Ernest was funny.

I'll admit, I was sad when Jim Varney died. This movie is one of the few actual Christmas-y movies I still enjoy.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

This one holds a certain special place in my heart as there is a character named Momar, Kimar, Girmar, and Bomar. That's right, Momar is in this film.

But in all honesty, this movie is a turkey. A big fat turkey of a film that you can watch once and never have to watch again. It's outlandish, easily lampooned, and completely ridiculous. It involves a plot from would-be world conquering Martians who decide to kidnap Santa, force him to make toys for Martian kids, and there's one that tries to kill Santa.

So it's like an assassination attempt against Santa.

Santa never really conquers them though. He does set someone up to be the Santa of Mars, and escapes, and that's about it.

It's horrendous, but watch it if you've never seen it. Trust me. It's been on MST3K which means that it could be worth the time to just sit, watch, and laugh at this piece of crap.

Jingle All The Way

This one is a bit different. You aren't going to find movies about going home for the holidays (for the most part) on this list. Or finding love on the holidays. No Home Alones. No Home for the Holidays. None of that crap. And none of the Frank Capra films that just drip in bullshit and make me want to vomit.

Those are the movies that make me hate this holiday.

For some reason though, a Christmas film that is sappy, that is dripping with holiday cheer, is one that I will actually watch year after year and would actually think to take part of in a Jingle All the Day as Robert Smigel's version of Arnold so perfectly called the day before Christmas.

I mean, if Christmas Story gets 24 hours and is only an okay film, then this movie deserves it's own day.

Arnold.

Phil Hartman.

Sinbad.

The movie is just one of the better movies that you watch as a kid and enjoy as a kid and I still for some stupid reason love this film. As much as I still love most of the comedies the action titans like Arnold and Stallone did, I still enjoy watching this movie.

It's dumb.

It's about a toy.

It's everything Christmas movies are and even features a dad who doesn't have holiday cheer (like thousands of other Christmas movies) and then, before the stroke of midnight, gets the cheer and becomes the best dad ever.

It's not really like it's possible for this film to be any cheesier, but I still love Sinbad movies. I watched Houseguest this weekend.

I still love Turbo-Man.

I still love Jim Belushi, Verne Troyer, and Big Show as evil Santas trying to make knock-off toys. And that stupid cop who keeps getting blown up, shot, or hit by cars. It's actually a Christmas movie that I can stand to watch year after year. And it has a happy ending.

Big deal. I still love it and plan to watch it very soon.

Santa's Slay

Bill Goldberg.

Santa killing people.

Evil creatures.

Murderers.

Angels.

Great movie? You bet your ass. Not to mention it was directed by a former assistant of Brett Ratner, so you know it's good. Oh, and Claire from Lost is in it too. What a crazy movie.

Scrooged

This one is one of my favorite holiday movies.

Better than any of the above mentioned movies by leaps and bounds. It's directed by Richard Donner, who will have another film on this list in just a bit, but in my opinion, this is the best version of Christmas Carol.

You've got Bill Murray, in the prime of his career, as Scrooge (essentially). You've got his three brothers in varying roles (one plays his dad, one plays his brother, and another plays a friend of his brother).

It's got cameos from people like Mary Lou Retton all the way to Robert Goulet.

It's crazy and it's awesome and it's perfect for anyone who hates Christmas, especially with the creepy special effects for all of the ghosts. But it works. All the major characters are updated for modern times in the 80s and it works.

This movie is one of the most consistently funny holiday movies ever made. Just watch the fake commercial they produce to get people to watch their Christmas Carol and tell me that's not great.

Tell me. Go ahead.

Watch Bobcat Goldthwait in all his manic glory. Bill Murray at his best. And this film is just perfection.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Do I really need to say anything about this movie?

You've all seen it.

You all know how classic it is and how hilarious it is.

So I'll just leave it as the movie on my list that we all know and love and can recite lines from. Another film with Brian Doyle-Murray on the list. That's strange.

Lethal Weapon and Die Hard

These are two movies that every guy loves.

They are quintessential action films starring quintessential action heroes with kick ass bad guys (Gruber and Mr. Joshua).

And they are both set during Christmas time. Christmas in Hollis Queens plays in at least one of them but my memory is telling me both.

Another film directed by Richard Donner (LW).

What do I need to say about these? Now I've got a machine gun. Ho ho ho.

One movie has terrorists getting punched or thrown through or out of windows and welcoming the dad from Family Matters to the party, and the other also features a form of terrorist but has drug-dealing Christmas tree salesmen.

Great.

Movies for the guy who hates Christmas and wants to punch a family member in the face during the holiday season or has ever used packing tape to hide something behind his back.

Two perfect films that I will watch in the next few days.

I've seen movies on Christmas day.

First time I ever saw Death to Smoochy was on Christmas at my grandparents house one day (that was an event and a half and probably made me like that movie more than I should have). I saw Alien VS. Predator Requiem on Christmas day (again, what a day). And this year, I have two movies that I'd really like to see on Christmas day.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and The Wrestler. Now I know that Benjamin Button will be playing where I can see it. The Wrestler, maybe not so much.

But both movies are by my two favorite directors, Fincher and Aronofsky, and I will do anything in my immediate power to see both films on the big screen.

Both look amazing and both look to be something that will probably kick me in the stomach.

I could be wrong. But judging just from trailers, from what I've heard, and from previous films that they've both directed, these look to be treats and I cannot wait to see them.

My wife and I are starting a new tradition this year and will be seeing Benjamin Button. If the Wrestler is in town around the same time, it's a guarantee that I will see that.

And that is all I have about movies at this time. Next time, join me for some holiday gift ideas that might work for anyone in your family. We'll see what we can scrounge up and what it costs to make Christmas a fine holiday.

See ya in the funnybooks.

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 75-82

2008-12-22T12:18:00.001-08:00

End of October through November, 2008.

Part 75

75! I cannot believe it. But this one has nothing to do with Halloween or the election or its eventual aftermath. Mainly because I’m still fuming about the top 5 list and how strange it is. This is all about the upcoming season and what it means for us.

And before I start, a shout-out to my spiritual advisor Patrick for the assist on this one.

Here we go:

A look at consumerism in the face of the 2^nd Great Depression.

How in this world of the one of the worst economies most of us have ever faced, how do we feel about paying a ton of money on presents for people in the upcoming holiday season? A lot of us have to deal with the fact that birthdays and holidays almost always seem to correspond. I have my birthday, 2 of my good friends birthdays, as well as a few family birthdays, all between now and the end of the year, and as the economic downturn continues to worsen and worsen, we’re all left wondering: what next?

Being that my own birthday happens in December, I can feel the crunch. Every time I open my wallet, I see it. Empty. All my money is going to the debts that I already have (which I’ve discussed at length before) such as school loans, car payments, increasing credit card debt, and everything else.

And as the economic crunch continues to be felt and Christmas and the holiday season is right around the corner, what has to go? What gets forgotten as you try to uphold the image of being a provider, a good son and husband, a good friend?

Being a man, I’m notorious for pushing one very important thing to the side: my health. Working at a very stressful job in a very stressful season, you deal with weight-gain as its easier to just run to McDonald’s and pick up a double cheeseburger for a dollar than it is to run to the local grocery store and buy a thing of cheese, a thing of beef, buns, and then cook them. It’s only a dollar at McDonald’s, but you forget about what it does to your health.

And it’s faster too. So you deal with it. And then you start getting chest pains. Your teeth always feel dirty. You have trouble sleeping and you have headaches and you just get worse and worse everyday. The bags under your eyes grow and your cholesterol keeps going up, but because you have to pay rent, a car payment, or anything else, you have to forget about yourself and just keep working.

Add that with working long hours and everything else and you’re left with taking about 5-10 years off your life in the span of 6 months. Of just bad eating. Bad dieting. Bad health and bad lifestyles.

But I’ve changed that, so hopefully all is good.

But this blog entry isn’t about my health and my changing body (that comes up soon). This is all about what’s coming. The storm heading over the horizon and the biggest shopping season of the year.

You can’t pretend it doesn’t exist. You walk into any department store in the mall, Targets, Wal-Marts, Costcos, Sam’s Clubs, anywhere big that sells you the junk that you need to live (like a whisk, or a food scale, or a tuning fork, or whatever it is we buy), you see it.

The fake Christmas trees are on the shelves. Stockings. Christmas cards are out at the local Hallmarks. The lights and the decorations. They’re all sitting there. Judging us as we step foot into these massive stores. And some people have to buy the junk because they love the holiday so much.

Me, not so much.

But again, this isn’t about my distaste for organized holidays where gift-giving is essentially the main crux of the celebration. It’s about what our consumerism is going to do to each and every one of us as we decide what we have to purchase on this upcoming holiday season.

Will we be frugal in the face of this crisis or will we continue to spend and increase our own debts to the point where the albatross around our neck grows so heavy that we can’t take it anymore? Will we give in to the temptation of the cookies, the presents, the shiny objects staring blankly at us as we step foot inside the stores?

What do we do? What can any of us do?

For me, this upcoming holiday season of Thanksgiving through New Year’s is about putting on a happy face for the family. My wife loves this time of year so I generally do it for her. I do it because I want to appear like I care.

Most of you know that I’d rather just stew about it. But I won’t.

And in the face of this economic crisis, we’re also faced with something our lame duck President told us on at least one occasion: spending as much as you can is good for the economy. They generally expect an economic upturn right around the Christmas season because people are spending their hard-earned money on crazy gifts that you’ll love for five minutes and hate for the rest of your life. Is spending that money this year a good thing? Or will it be the worst thing you could ever do?

You have to figure that yes, it will be good for the economy, now, but it won’t be good for you in the future. Because that money that you spend will mean more stress, more debt, and it could lead to poverty or even losing your home. Which a lot of people are facing daily. Stories riddle the newspapers and magazines about the growing foreclosure rates.

So you have to ask yourselves: who has the responsibility of propping this economy up? Is it on your shoulders? You and your family? At what cost do you take it upon yourselves to keep the economy afloat by spending the money that you worked so hard to gather for your family and yourself and then spending that money on the same family, only it’s putting you further and further in debt?

In this instance, does the ends justify the means?

I’m paraphrasing when I say this: but who bails you out?

It’s on your shoulders at that point. Just like it’s on my shoulders to get myself out of the debt that I constantly face. And I’m dealing with that. It will be a process, probably for the rest of my life, that ebbs and flows. But I know that with the downturn being so problematic, with thoughts of job loss on everyone’s minds, I have to stop and think. I have to sit back and think do I really need this blu-ray in my hands right now? Is it important? Do I need to buy this book for my brother for his birthday, or do I just slap him on the back and wish him a great day?

At what point does the gift-giving start to only mean crisis for you and your family? And at what point do you stop it?

I’m not sure. I’m mainly here with questions. There is a lot going on in this world that is very frightening. Each of us are going to face it (unless we have a trust fund or something, and then, can I borrow some money). We’re going to be left with some very hard decisions, and one major one is coming very soon.

How much can you spend on this Christmas season without seeing the red creep into your debt? And how much of yourself are you willing to give away to save the economy that constantly scares you?

It’s a lot to think about. It’s a crisis for certain, and it weighs heavily on our minds as we face the upcoming election as well.

*********************************

Part 76

To open, here's a new quote that I love:

"Rosa Parks sat so that Martin Luther King could walk. Martin Luther King walked so that Obama could run. Obama's running so that we all can fly."

-Jay-Z

That's right. That quote is attributed to Jay-Z. I don't know how he feels about the rest of this entry, but I can tell you this, I don't just think this should be about African-Americans. I think it has a lot to do with the world, but obviously, African-Americans in general.

I just hope that Obama shows the world we can still fly with this election. I hope that the night ends the right way.

On to the show:

UPDATED:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122586056759900673.html?mod=special_page_campaign2008_mostpop

So I am ecstatic for all of like 10 hours after Obama won. Proud to call myself an American. Proud that my country was smart enough to think about the choice and think about the future and elect the person who deserved to win. Who was honest. Charming. Smarter. I can finally say my president is smarter than me.

And then California goes and does something like this. Disrespectful. Stupid. Moronic. The biggest mistake they could have made. Let's show the world how smart we are one minute and how stupid we are the next. I am so very sad for anyone who lives in California, and I can only say that I really hope that it goes before the Supreme Court and gets overturned. Just disgusting that they would pass this stupid proposition. If you have a gay family member, and you voted to ban gay marriage, you are despicable. I am ashamed for you.

Back to the original post:

I promised my spiritual advisor, Patrick, that I wouldn't talk about the election. But the broad strokes have to be mentioned. Some that don't even really apply to us, living here in Kansas and Missouri, but they will in the future. They will if the right to make a choice becomes something that the entire United States decides to use.

Prop 8, Prop 2, and Prop 102 in California, Florida, and Arizona, respectively.

The Anti-Gay propositions that have been attached to this presidential election.

One big one that has gained a lot of steam in recent memory is Prop 8, in California, mainly because in recent months gay marriage was upheld as lawful, and now there is a proposition to essentially take that vote back for "respectful marriages," or whatever it is they're talking about.

I'm married. I'm heterosexual. Big deal. Honestly. If I was gay, I would want to love and cherish whichever person I chose to, and I would want the rights to do so just like any asswipe in Hollyweird has the right to marry any woman/man they want to marry on a whim. Prop 8 is a state constitutional amendment that is titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.

Eliminates the rights.

Those rights were granted by the state only recently and now people want to take those rights away. And why?

To protect the sanctity of marriage, according to all the people who are voting for these propositions. Because the sanctity of marriage is broken if two people who love each other completely don't deserve to be married. I don't care that the Bible says two homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to cavort or be with each other or be married. The Bible also says stuff like an eye for an eye (which has caused all kinds of trouble for our economy and our world with a President and Government that follows and adheres to the rules of the Bible almost completely). I don't always like what the Bible says because of people who HATE other people for their lifestyle choices, such as the way they dress, the way they talk, the things they believe in, and no, I'm not saying that homosexuality is a choice.

But who you love is a choice.

I learned at a young age, in a very Conservative state, that accepting people was the right thing to do. I'm not the nicest person in the world, but I sure as hell will not turn away from a friend if they came out of the closet and I sure as hell wouldn't give up on them as human beings, nor would I say to them, you know what, I'm sorry that you love another man or woman, but I don't think you deserve the choice to love them, or the freedom to spend your life with that person.

Who am I, God?

Shouldn't God, if you believe in that entity, be the only person allowed to make that decision? Who's to say that God isn't pro-gay marriage? Who's to say that God doesn't love a man? I mean, the Bible teaches to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, so you know, if you follow the Bible to a T, maybe you're gay. Maybe everyone is gay. Maybe that's not such a bad thing.

This really pisses me off. I was raised a Catholic. I went to Catholic pre-school and graduated from a Catholic high school. That's where my faith went. It went down the tube with all the idiots who spew hate at other people for making a choice that doesn't fit alongside their own beliefs.

I mean, if your daughter was raped by a scumbag who threatened to kill her if she didn't have sex with him, would you want your daughter to go through the pain of childbirth? Would you want your daughter to then spend the rest of her life looking at that baby and resenting them, hating them, because they remind her of that awful person who took choice away from her?

Aren't you taking choice away from your daughter by not giving her the choice to make up her own damned mind?

Aren't you doing what God teaches you not to do?

It frustrates me to no end. I've worked with gay people. I have friends who are gay. I don't care what they do behind closed doors and I don't care who they love.

Just so long as that person loves them back. All I want for the people that I care about is for them to be happy. All I care about is that they are allowed to live their lives and be happy, no matter what.

And I want them to be free.

To have the freedom to choose who they love and who they marry. To have the freedom to make a decision in the face of an intense diversity.

Seriously though, if you believe so wholeheartedly in the Bible, that marriage and sex are only for pro-creation, than I'm worse than most. My wife and I use birth control. So yeah, every day I do something terrible and I spit in the face of people who tell me that MY choices aren't good enough, that my choices aren't worthwhile, that what I believe in isn't right.

But I do that because my choices deserve to be my own. Not someone else's. My choices about life, honor, respect, love, everything, belongs to myself.

If you're so good, if you're so loving and so holy, why do you think it's okay to tell me what to believe? I've never come out and tell anyone what to believe, I just share my beliefs.

Love them or hate them, it's your choice to make.

And that's always what these blogs have been about, to this day. The right to choose. The right to make the choice that means the world to you. The right to choose what you do with your life.

The right to choose who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The right to choose anything, and not be fearful that that choice will lead to the end of your life.

Because this is about you. This is about your choice.

This isn't about me.

This isn't even really about you.

This is about who comes next.

Who follows us.

This is about keeping freedom alive for the people that follow us on this world.

This is about making a world that our children and their children and anyone else's children can believe in.

You want to say it's hope? Fine. Say it's about hope. But it's about not believing that you are better than anyone else because you're so holy.

Just because you believe in God doesn't allow you the right to hate someone for their beliefs. It doesn't give you the right to throw eggs at women who have abortions or turn your nose up to gay people or hate someone who is Jewish or Muslim.

If you choose to believe what the Bible teaches you, so be it. But don't force those beliefs on me. Just live your life, and let people be allowed to live their own. Wouldn't Jesus want it that way?

*************************

Part 77

The times they are a-changing.

Seriously, big changes are afoot. It's strange right now.

I voted for a presidential candidate who won (and honestly, I'm still a little in shock that it happened this way and I'm still super-excited). But there are so many things going on right now, personally and in the world, that I feel like change might be another topic to blog about today. Tomorrow. Whenever.

It doesn't matter.

Change is here. So let's embrace it.

Embrace change.

It's one of those things that face us everyday.

At work.

At home.

In the economy.

In everything we do.

I'm sure Dustin would mention to all of us that being capable of change, facing change in the workplace in almost a daily form, is one of those things that will make you a very good candidate for growth opportunities. So of course, let's talk about that.

I've spoken about the Company that I work for in the past. Never in definites. Never in terms that will get me fired or get you to know who I work for. It's all on purpose. It might have something to do with needing a full-time job to pay the bills so that my writing can sustain me in my creative endeavors. It might be that I would piss a lot more people off if they knew what I was writing.

Anyway.

As I was saying, change is one of those basic tenets that we are required to face once we begin a career. Once we start work.

Change comes in different shapes and sizes. It can be life changes like undertaking a new health kick that helps you lose weight in the face of stress from the same job that you most times despise, but again, pays the bills. It can be life changes like moving to a new city. Starting in a different part of the Company.

Having a different opportunity face you everyday.

It could be listening to Queen's album A Kind of Magic while you write this blog and thinking about something other than the film Highlander. But that's impossible. Every time I listen to this album, Highlander is all I think about.

Again, another digression.

Change faces us everyday. In everything we do.

We roll with the punches. We move along. Or we get left behind. We move along or we're left in the dust to die.

My wife and I get into arguments just like every couple does. But she takes care of me. She's the positive one in our relationship. I'm the ultra-negative one. Like you didn't already know that.

But change comes in forms that attack things like relationships. Friendships. Loves. The hardships that face you as you get older are ones that don't go away.

And I'm the type of person who hates to think about getting older. Hates thinking that everyday I get older and I can't stop it.

But that's all part of change. And again, that's probably why I'm listening to that Queen album and thinking about Highlander.

Another birthday is on its way, and the quarter-life crisis started early for me this year. If you've been following the blog with any regularity, you've seen that to be the case. But as usual, talking about yourself gets a little too boring.

So where else is change needed or being felt?

Why Kansas City of course.

My Frink Gooch and I are in complete agreement with Kansas City sports. They are despicable. Disgusting. The teams that we have to root for are nothing but a joke. A couple of jokes.

A friend asked me to come over to their after Thanksgiving party and watch the Chiefs game on Sunday November 30th. Being a terrible friend I just laughed at them. I humbly tried to say no, but I couldn't help it.

I'm not a fairweather fan of the Chiefs or the Royals, but I'm not a fan in any sense of the word. They are both awful, and I feel bad for the fans in Kansas City that need the sports to watch.

I was one of those people who was excited to hear about the possibility of a basketball team coming to KC, and of course, completely upset to hear the chances slip away. I hated to see the Blades go, the Attack, the Comets, jesus, even the Kansas City Kings.

I wasn't old enough to remember going to a Kansas City Kings game as they stopped playing here in 85, but there are pictures to prove I was at one game, at least.

Not having a team, not having a reason to go to Kemper Arena, is a little depressing. Truly.

Not having a reason to root for KC sports, is a little maddening. The Wizards, for some reason, never felt like a real KC team to me like the rest. I suppose they are still our only real shot at a sports team, but who knows really?

The change that KC really needs is almost a complete overhaul of the two teams. Obviously, get rid of Peterson.

He's one of the worst things to ever happen to KC. EVER.

Probably the worst thing. He's done nothing good for the team. Get rid of Herm. Why we ever hired a guy with a LOSING record for the Jets to be our head coach and lead KC to victory makes zero sense at all. But I'm not the head guy there.

Hell, hire Marty again. Give him a new chance. Get Art Shell back (unless he already is).

Give us a damn team to root for. And the Royals? Jesus, I don't know what to do with them. Drop ticket prices. Drop PARKING prices. Drop food and drink prices. Get a team out there that is young and wants to play.

Get someone out there to kick some ass. Even then, if they lose, we'll all be loaded on 4 dollar beers and we'll be happy as hell because we got dinner and a show.

Also changing, the face of the world we live in. I'm completely excited for the president-elect, Barack Obama.

I've never been excited to see a new face put to politics. One who I stand for. I believe in. One who is charming in a good way. A good speaker.

Someone I believe in. Someone I don't necessarily trust as I don't know him personally, but I still see him speak and believe in his humility and I still feel like this is a man I can stand behind.

And I think he's smarter than me.

Which is the best thing.

There are a lot of people out there who are scared of him. Scared of the way the world will change. Obviously, the US will not become a socialist nation.

I've spoken about socialism in this blog before as well, and it doesn't work. There are too many greedy bastards in the world who have their own interests above all others, and a lot of those people run the country.

So there is no way that socialism will become the face of our nation. If some of those things carry over, I'd welcome them. I'd be wary of the way they would turn out, but as has been mentioned by smarter people than I, some tenets of socialism were used already for the recent bailout.

Let's take some of this change with a grain of salt.

There are people out there scared of the changes that we face. I'm generally scared of change. I'm scared of what comes next and not knowing what the future holds.

That is a part of life. Not knowing the future. Not being able to change the outcome of everything. Not being in charge of everything.

But change can be a great thing.

It can lead you on a path so much better than the one you were previously on. It can lead you to things above and beyond what you could ever even imagine. It can change your entire world in just one small word.

We just have to be smart enough to allow it to do exactly that.

Take the step.

Take the leap.

You can't be a part of change if you don't try, if you don't make a jump, if you don't just try at something and fail miserably a number of times and then you get to make that one massive impact that people will talk about for years and years.

Mine is coming.

You have all been witness to a part of it. But something very big is on the way.

VERY big.

There are things in place that will change, hopefully, my entire life. I just have to take a leap on this one, and I just stepped off the ledge. Get ready.

**************************************

Part 78

So let’s talk about depression. Let’s talk about things that bother each and every one of us and things that should probably be mentioned as things that affect us. And they might affect us in different ways.

But a lot of us face depression in different forms. I myself have faced it on numerous occasions, and it’s become a companion.

Something I take with me anywhere I go.

But this isn’t necessarily all about me. We all know that these types of self-help blogs only work if they show the problem with an anecdotal concept that the author may have faced, and then provide an answer or suggestion on how to fix it.

Screw that. I’ll do this my way.

So what kind of depression can face us in our daily lives? Currently, I’ve grown a little extra-weary, and have mentioned this before, about getting older. Facing the quarter-life crisis. Thinking that I’m turning 25 soon and I have minimal to show for it.

That’s something I face yearly.

My birthday and getting older is always something that will bother me. It bothers a lot of people. We don’t like to think about getting older, growing more gray, getting another step closer to the grave. But should it scare me so much that I shut myself off, shut myself down from new experiences?

That defeats the purpose of the crisis.

Crises precipitate change. I mentioned change in the last blog. And if you know where that quote comes from, either the original quote itself or which musical group (the all-time greatest hip hop album) used that quote, you can be my best friend.

I digress.

As I said, and you’ll hear this a lot, crises do precipitate change. There are any number of crises facing the world today. Economic, weather-related, health, job market, housing market, you name it, it’s in crisis mode right now.

Which forces all of us to get into crisis mode.

Which ruins our own standard of living.

I mentioned recently about how the stress of the economy is wearing me down. How it’s beating me into the ground everyday to think about how my money means nothing because it’s going nowhere.

Well, it leads to depression.

And how do we fight it?

Some people suggest the power of positive thinking. People like Tony Robbins and Richard Simmons, I’m sure. People that may have had a bout of depression in the past, may have had to live in the shadows of depression.

But what does the power of positive thinking do? Is it any better than just bottling up the rage and anger and pushing it down, further and further, until there is so much rage built up that you eventually just want to explode?

It can be.

The power of positive thinking doesn’t always work for me. I’m not a positive person, by nature. That doesn’t mean it can’t work for you. It can.

Anything can work for you, if you choose to let it.

So positive thinking: take a step back and look at your life. Write a list of pros and cons. Things that are good and things that are bad. People who assist in these situations say writing these things down sometimes takes the power away from them. You can see how truly small it is.

Listing works for some people too. Write all the things that are bothering you today. If it’s something that can’t be fixed in a day, it may help to skip it. If it’s something like getting older, it might be wise to just step back, look closely at it, and realize that is something you have no control over. The only control over it that you have is how you perceive yourself. You may be getting older physically, but if you don’t want to believe yourself to be any older, then don’t.

Simple as that.

So list it out. Pick out something you can change.

Like you don’t like the clothes that you wear. Or your weight.

I had a recent bout with being overweight and I’m working on that. That is something I can physically control in the choices that I make in the foods that I eat, the things that I drink, and the just general choices in my daily life.

I choose to be a little more active, which has helped. I’m eating better, more fruits, veggies, cooking dinner at home, eating much less fast food, imbibing no alcohol (which is tough as I love imbibing) and drinking no soda.

Soda is a big one.

It used to be I get a taste for Dr. Pepper so I drink 2 liters. Or more. In the span of an hour.

I’ve been off soda for a month now, and plan to never go back. With the choices I’ve made there, I’ve lost 20 pounds. In a month, which isn’t the greatest, it could be better, but it will be. So that’s something I can physically control and am.

So now take another look at that list and see if anything else on there is something you can change. You may not be able to change your own outlook on life, but you can certainly try.

I’m a dreamer. I’m an existentialist. I hate sitting and being tied to a desk and having my day doled out to me in assignments, messages, and memos. I like to think of things outside of normalcy. I like to look at things and change the way I look at them.

I don’t believe in absolutes.

So me giving these suggestions, understand that none of them are meant as absolutes.

I was reading an article about surgery that was approved by the Food and Drug administration to help treat depression. It’s called the Vagus Nerve Stimulator implant.

It sounds like a pacemaker. A generator is put into your chest. Your vagus nerve is connected to it and you’re shocked into the brain.

It’s supposed to affect your nerve.

I can’t understand how this could be a good thing? It’s just a lower form of electro-shock therapy, and when has that ever seemed like a good idea? Essentially, you’re electrocuting your brain to start thinking better things, and if that doesn’t work, well, maybe you’ll just nuke the thing and then all your thoughts will be mush anyway.

So whatever, right?

I think positive thinking seems a little more realistic as opposed to shocking your brain into submission.

Other things have worked for me. I’ve never been diagnosed as depressed, but it’s been in my family. My entire family has dealt with it in some way, shape or form before. I’ve had friends kill themselves, I’ve attempted it myself, I’ve been in and around it since I was 10 years old.

We’re getting close to 15 years now.

So strange to think about that.

But things that have worked for me have not really been the power of positive thinking, drugs, alcohol, or anything like that. It’s so much easier.

Take a walk. At night. When it’s quiet out and you can be alone.

Not so much alone with your thoughts, as sometimes being alone with your thoughts can be a very bad thing, but taking a walk always worked for me. It centered me. It put me in a different state of mind. I was outside, in nature, walking alone, and just capable of taking a breath and opening myself up to the things around me. It made me realize I was small in comparison to the world around me, but that didn’t scare me.

It never made me feel insignificant. It just made me feel like a part of everything.

So taking a walk always worked to calm me. Gave me time to center myself. As does meditating.

I’ve gone on record, often, discussing my thoughts on religion, organized or otherwise.

I’m not suggesting zen Buddhism. I’m not suggesting Namaste yoga or focusing your chi or anything like that.

I’m just talking about meditating.

Sitting alone in a room. Focusing on not focusing on anything. Being alone with your thoughts and just centering yourself. Focusing on the things that matter most to you. Pushing the things away that don’t.

Focus only on your breathing. You are entering a cave. There you will meet your power animal.

It’s all about the focus of thoughts. It’s all about you.

Depression is a big, scary, beast of a thing. I’m not telling you that anything I suggest will work for you. I’m only hear to make suggestions. Offer assistance. Tell you things that have helped me in the past and may work wonders for you.

I still struggle with it. I still deal with stuff like depression everyday. It’s a very scary thing. Depression itself precipitates change in the fact that when I face this depression, it forces me to re-evaluate things. Right now, I’m scared of the future because I don’t know what it holds. The big changes I mentioned last time are not health or age-related. They are related to my future. My dreams becoming reality.

I’ve gotten a taste of the thing that I want to do with my life, and it’s within grasp. It’s so close I can taste it. Big things are in store, and it’s scary. It’s scary to think that if it doesn’t work out this time, that it’s back to square one.

But that doesn’t have to scare me anymore.

I’ve gotten further toward my dream than a million other people come in their entire lifetimes. And I’m only 25.

So I have that.

It’s still a long, hard struggle, and the road will be littered with failure. But the change that could come from this will be something so great, something so completely ridiculous and strange, that my life will be different. And that will be scary as well.

But that’s the point. Change is scary. Change is different. But it’s all about rolling with it. Accepting the change. Accepting the world for what it is and changing those things that you can change.

So this is it. This is the start. We’re on the cusp now, so buckle your seatbelts.

*************************************

Part 79

Lay-offs. Mortgage crisis. Gay marriage. War. Massive companies going out of business and leaving thousands of workers without a place to go to get away from their families. What the hell are we supposed to do?

Let’s look at the weight of the world and let’s use something I’ve mentioned before that it seems someone may have picked up on. That we need to be the change that the world deserves. We need to be the change that we believe in.

Seems like there was another blog on this here site mentioning the same thing.

This morning I did something very strange, I listened to the radio. I listened to the radio for the first time in a very long time as I drove to work. I never listen to the radio, but something was screaming in my brain to listen to the radio this morning. For some reason. I was compelled.

So I turned the dial and there it was. Afentra, who I hate, was talking to a member of the Phelps family. Who I despise. Anyone who has lived in Kansas or Missouri, watches the news, or pays attention to anything knows who this family is. They’re the absolute worst.

No, I’m not saying they have no right to say what they believe. I’m all about freedom of speech. One of the things I back above and beyond anything else in this world. So I would never say they have no right to say what they believe.

But I don’t agree with that dipshit family in any way, shape, or form.

Something you may already know is how I feel about “gay” marriage. I think it’s stupid to call it gay marriage just because two gay people are getting married. It’s marriage. It’s two people coming together out of love and spending their lives together because they choose to love that person and want to spend the rest of their life with that other person.

Now, anyone who wants to Bible-thump at me, feel free. I’m not going to listen. I’m a staunch non-believer, for all intents and purposes, I’m an atheist. That’s my choice.

So living in Lawrence for 4 years was a big struggle because every time I saw one of those idiots from the Phelps family with their stupid signs saying God hates Fags or God Hates America, I wanted to explode. I wanted to smash my fist against each and every one of their faces and just take my anger out on them. For believing that horseshit.

I can’t remember the exact number of times I came across them on campus. I know one was during a Free Music Friday near the Union when a damn near riot almost broke out. I know that they were in front of the Lied Center as my friends and I made our way to see George Carlin give an amazing show. I know they are generally there around graduations.

So I’ve been around them. I’ve seen them. And listening to them spit their bile and talk their bullshit makes me want to just go violent and fly into a rage. My wife said that’s what they want.

But you know, again who wants to Bible-thump at me, feel free, but here’s where I wanted to take this:

If God hates America, why do the Phelps still live here? Why does their crusade against gay people involve going to rallies being held for rights for all people? Why does it include going to funerals or social events that pretty much have nothing to do with equal rights for all people?

And how do we contain them?

Anyone who is going to the rally on Saturday against Prop 8, be prepared. They will probably be there. They will probably be there, spewing their hate speech just like the Nazis did against Jews in World War 2, but they’ll be protected by the first amendment and there is nothing we can do about it.

But is that true? Is there nothing we can do?

We can ignore them. Give their words no power. If they get violent, we get more violent and I’ll be right there on the frontlines to go after them and stop Fred Phelps before he can eradicate a group of people that should be allowed to live their lives however they damn well choose. Just like Hitler before him. So yes, I am boiling down his followers to Nazis. Freedom of speech says I can, so I just did.

Because the Bible also talks about loving your neighbor. Being good to everyone. Opening your homes and your arms for people of all colors, creeds, sexual orientation. But I guess you idiots who think otherwise don’t pay attention to the New Testament and only see God in the vengeful creator way.

And if that’s the case, good luck. Because you’ll be burning in hell just like everybody else.

Next topic, as I’m sure I’ll talk at length about that for a long period of time (good job Connecticut on allowing gay marriage, I’m proud of you. Too bad I live in a state that’s not progressive enough to realize that all people deserve the same rights as us atheists and heathens).

Car makers of the US: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t4oY2AFkthw/SRt2pkmsyDI/AAAAAAAAD9s/zq8AjN18pFw/s1600-h/american-auto-industry.jpg

Why is it that us bleeding heart liberals are killing America? Is it because we choose not to drive American made cars if we can at all help it? Buy American electronics (haha)?

I mean, how many of you readers bought an American made TV in the last few years?

Exactly.

You see, with GM going down the drain yet again, we’re left with a big gaping question: what the hell does the government do about that?

With the bailouts going around, who’s to say the government isn’t going to bail them out and help them sustain while they drain down the tubes?

They probably will.

The government is going to bail out anybody and everybody who they think can assist in stimulating our terrible economy.

Anybody except for you and me.

You see, I do work for a company that does a ton of business in the US. Last I heard, my company wasn’t facing bankruptcy and lay-offs like Cerner, DHL, GM, Sprint Nextel (every year! Why do people keep going and getting jobs there). Hell, even Garmin is having trouble.

But who’s getting bailed out? Auto manufacturers. Banks.

But not the people who truly stimulate the economy.

People with a wall of credit card debt facing them down every day and people with school bills and who knows how many other bills they are faced with month after month after month.

Mortgage crisis is on its way as more people lose their houses and their jobs every single day. But we aren’t being saved.

We aren’t being picked up and assisted in our time of need even though our country continues to fight a losing war against terror and a losing war against the fallout of the economy following one of the worst presidents in history.

It’s terrible.

I constantly wish that life was more like movies. That I could escape into a different world and be faced with the choices that the narrator in Fight Club had to face (the movie, not necessarily the book, even though that would also be exciting).

Think about the end of that movie. Think about the experiment being presented to the world in destroying all the financial institutions and giving us a chance to start over. What would happen if each and every credit card user was given a do-over?

Do you think they would save their money or do you think they would immediately go out and spend spend spend just like they used to?

I don’t mean to be pessimistic, but it’s clear as day.

They would amass the same debt, if not more, and they would then be assisting in providing the economy it’s own refresh button. Because they’d be pumping that money back into the economy, buying things they didn’t need or buying new cars.

Like the ones built by GM.

It’s all relative.

Everything is.

Especially if you’re a Christian who thinks that God is protecting you by making gay marriage not a right that people deserve.

I mean, do you really need your house, your job, your car, your life, when you have God to protect you. God acts as roof, labor, and everything you need, so why don’t you give up your home for people that desperately need it?

People that are homeless. Jobless.

People who are suffering. But see, you’re probably sitting on your throne and saying, well, I worked hard to get where I am, and God will protect them too.

It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?

So what choice do we have left? How do we make the change that we want? Can we? Can we actually make change when faced with these harsh choices, with these horrible things that face us?

I mean, the economy is so bad, that NBC just cancelled My Own Worst Enemy and Lipstick Jungle. Is there no justice?

But seriously folks, what change do you want?

Do you want the world to wake up and realize that the reason these institutions are failing is because no one believes in them? The reason that the world doesn’t work may have something to do with church and state not being as separate as they should be?

Do you make wishes on stars or pray to a spirit in the sky that protects you to make things better? And do they ever?

It’s all about choice.

Just like it always has been and just like it always will be. God isn’t going to get you a better job when you get laid off from Sprint.

You are. God isn’t going to pay off the debt that you’ve accrued in your lifetime. You are.

God isn’t going to save General Motors. The government is.

But we only have ourselves to rely on. It’s strange how much the world continues to look and feel like a strange variation on a theme, like you walked through a door and entered a different dimension, one very similar to the old one, but not so much. It’s strange to think that one day I was living in belief of a higher power and the next I wasn’t.

But I feel free and clear living my own life. Living my own plan.

I’m not scared of going to hell for speaking my own mind or living my own life because I’ve made a choice. A choice that works for me. I work at the company I work for by choice. I own the things that I own by choice. I don’t feel like blaming other people for the way the world is, but if it was my choice, there would be some changes made.

That’s for sure.

So here’s what we have to do: make a choice. Do you need a new car? Do you need a new job? Do you need a home bigger and more expensive than the one you already own? Do you need to live outside of your means? Do you deserve the right to damn someone else just because they love someone?

Do you deserve a right that someone else doesn’t?

Shouldn’t we all get a choice here?

******************************************

Part 80

Losing your job and losing your friends. What is the world coming to?

This has been a very tough year for the people who know me. In the past, I’ve felt like a blight to those people around me, like a virus that sucks all the good out of their lives and leaves them a worthless husk. Like the grim reaper, only my influence isn’t felt in the death of themselves, just in the death of something they care about.

5 years ago was the last time I really felt like that. When my grandma died, an old friend from school died in a car crash, another friend killed himself, a relationship ended, and my whole world was left shaken to the core.

Now this time, my world has been shaken again.

6 people I know have lost their jobs at some point this year.

6 people. Family, friends, my spiritual advisor, friends of family and family of friends. Each lost their jobs in the face of this immensely staggering deficit that faces the country and that throws their world and all of our worlds for a loop.

How is that possible? How is it that certain people lose their jobs while others, who do zero to no work or give zero to no effort, continue to work and continue to see green and see position changes and possible new opportunities? How does that work out?

Probably because those people who do move on to bigger and better things haven’t made it a habit of ever knowing me or being a part of my life.

I know that it’s ridiculous to think, and it probably is. But I cause a stir in a lot of things. Read some of my older blogs. Ones about gay marriage and rights. Ones about freedom of choice. I stir the pot. That’s what I do. And the people who know me are the ones who usually get burnt by the backdraft.

So where does that leave me?

When you have a friend or a number of friends who lose their jobs, what do you do? Do you leave them, penniless and alone, and let them struggle to live their lives with any modicum of respect or anything resembling their old life? Or do you step in and assist them?

Being that I feel guilty, in some crazy way, I step in. I offer assistance. A warm home. A home-cooked meal. Money if needed. I do what I can and provide an ear and a strong shoulder to cry on if they need it.

But that’s not what this blog is about. This blog is about spreading yourself thin for the people that you care about. It’s about forgetting about yourself to the point of breaking. It’s about giving too much of yourself away for others so that they can be happy.

It’s about how much worse you can make things for everyone that way.

Picture it this way: if you have had a lifetime of depression, the people around you have a lifetime of depression, and you’re feeling blue, you’re feeling down, you need someone to talk to, what do you do when the person you want to talk to is feeling the same way only a little more amplified at that point?

Do you bottle up your rage?

Do you hide it all away?

Do you forget about their feelings and just ride yours down into oblivion?

If you’re trying to be a good friend, you probably hide them away. Hide them for another time when you can get back to them and feel them a little more strongly.

But where does that get you?

It gets you stuck. Alone. In a dark room in the middle of the night. With no one to turn to and nothing to do but scream or cry or let loose all the rage and break a bone in your hand.

It leaves you wanting some form of personal interaction that you’re missing at that point. And being a loner doesn’t work so well at that point as it just leaves you cold.

But the people who need you still need you. MSN had a link about this yesterday or the day before. What do you do for those people who have lost their jobs? And their answer was don’t be an ATM and just keep giving them money. Be more personal and give them a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and just be there for them.

That doesn’t always work though.

So you’re spreading it thinner and thinner for the people who need you.

You’re going to a place that you hate so that you can pay bills. You’re smiling your way through the day as you curse it on the inside. You’re screaming for something different. But you’re suffering through for a purpose.

Because your curse is to carry the grief that all these other people have. Because you choose to do so.

One of my biggest pet peeves, right now, is how often I spend listening to other people. Opening up my home and my time to people who need me and then getting nothing in return. Offering a safe voice for someone to listen to. A sounding board if someone else has problems.

My old best friend and I used to talk about personal things. Things like life. Drama. Depression. Sadness. Being scared of getting older. Now my sounding board for all of that is whoever reads this blog and thinks that I’m a psychopath for airing my dirty laundry on a website.

But in the beauty of the internet, the anonymous is king. I’ve never given you my real name, and I probably never will. Nor have I made most associations known to you. But I’m not a liar.

This is me, airing grievances.

This time of year does this to me. Every time. My 25^th birthday is right around the corner. A downward spiral is following me as it approaches because in the 24 years of my life, I’ve rarely had a good birthday. A good Christmas. A good season of real cheer. Christmas has been about disappointments for as long as I can remember, and I’m trying this year not to believe that that will happen. But I can’t.

I’m a pessimist.

So I stand before you as a man who is offering you advice. Offering you the choice to listen and to change your world. To not follow my path but to follow one that could be a little clearer and a little easier to handle.

Just because I’ve dealt with depression does not make me an authority. Just because I have a hard time in the Christmas season does not make me a motivational speaker.

Growing up Catholic and then denouncing it will do that to you. You’re still left with the good old Catholic guilt, but none of the beliefs, faith, hope, or ability to seek a higher power.

But this is me, seeking out a higher power.

A higher truth.

I want to find out that the people who lost their jobs and had to restart a major part of their lives didn’t have to do it because of some stupid whim on some stupid company cutting costs. I want to believe that the world isn’t a dark and scary place that beats us down, destroys our good will, and then shapes it into something resembling a dark bile.

I want to believe that my friends and family would go out on the same limb for me that I always do, but I can’t. I don’t think that way and I don’t see it. I just see my side. My side where everything has been spread so thin that there’s nothing left for me to give, not much left for me to offer.

And that’s the point.

When people need you, you have to hold something back for yourself. You can’t give everything of yourself up for them. You can’t shape their world for them as yours crumbles around you. You can’t lift them off the ground and pick up their pieces when yours are still spread in a million different directions.

You can’t help them if you’re beyond the help that you can offer.

It’s a strange world we live in and we’re making it stranger every day. Don’t follow my path.

Don’t believe what I say.

But do remember that friendships, familial bonds, and everything that shape who you are depends on yourself first and the other party second. But that other party is crucial.

If the people who you are helping, who you offer help to, are never going to give help back, are never going to be available when you need it most, then the one-sidedness of that just continues to turn you into a doormat.

And doormats are only good for cleaning shit off our shoes.

***************************************************

Part 81

Rock Band vs. Guitar Hero World Tour:

Recently, I was made aware by a few people that my blogs were getting a little on the angry side again. A little more angsty and a little more difficult to read.

So in the spirit of the upcoming holidays, I thought, why not do a blog about giving thanks? That might be next week.

Probably Tuesday or Wednesday.

What about doing a blog about Christmas? Eh. I’ll do that later.

So instead, I will do a variation on a theme and discuss certain things, one of them being the all-important question on everyone’s mind:

Rock Band or Guitar Hero World Tour?

Now I’m speaking from experience as I’ve played both Rock Band 1 and 2 and Guitar Hero 2-World Tour. I’ve played them on Wii, PS3, PS2, and XBOX 360. So I’ve seen them in different forms.

But I will be discussing the odds and ends on which one you should pick for your loved one, whether it be son, brother, dad, husband, boyfriend, nephew, niece, sister, mom, girlfriend, wife, or grandparents.

This is the way I see it on these games and that’s it. It’s still going to be your choice, but from the horse’s mouth, this is the way I see it. Also, there is more to discuss once this is done, so we’ll be following it with a bit of news.

Songs:

This is one thing that should be on everyone’s minds.

This is the one part of both games that should come into contention for all of you as you’re deciding which one to pick.

Now Rock Band 2 and Guitar Hero World Tour both have 16 songs that correspond with each. Once you get past that, each game has a total of 84-86 songs that are playable (having to unlock some as you go).

The big difference is the downloadable content. Not only can you play Rock Band 1 songs with Rock Band 2 equipment (and vice versa), but you can unlock all 58 Rock Band songs with an easy download, not to mention hundreds of downloadable songs that you could download for the first game.

And here is that list:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_downloadable_songs_for_the_Rock_Band_series

Over 300 extra songs.

Add to that the 20 downloadable songs that are being made available for Rock Band 2 in the upcoming days (if not already) as well as whatever insane amount of downloads that come out for that one as well (something like 500+ downloadable songs and full albums even) and you’re left with both a hefty price for the new content, but hours upon hours of playing pleasure.

And the songs run the gamut.

Queens of the Stone Age and Nine Inch Nails as well as The Pretenders, Buzzcocks, Black Crowes, Grateful Dead, Boston, and all over the place. They’ve even got Stephen and the Colberts. One thing you won’t find is Tool, which you then can find on Guitar Hero World Tour.

That’s about the biggest difference unless you’re really looking forward to playing Jimi Hendrix and bands similar to that. Downloadable content includes Metallica, Boston, Foreigner, Rick Springfield, Blind Melon, Ted Nugent, REM, and a few others. Paltry now, but soon to grow.

One thing people have been championing about Guitar Hero World Tour is the fact that you can make your own music.

There’s a problem with that. You can’t add vocals.

So strike one.

You have to rely on the instruments you can purchase for this game.

Strike two.

And big strike three: you make no money off the song or the overall use of that song by other players, but you can be certain that Activision is currently trying to find away to make some scratch off of you.

http://www.gamedaily.com/articles/news/guitar-hero-world-tour-sees-25000-usergenerated-songs/?biz=1

A subscription opportunity, meaning that Bobby Kotick and the jerks over at Activision see your songs as a way for them to make money, and give you none of it. Seems downright illegal to me, but I guess if people are dumb enough to allow them to do it, that’s on you then. Me, if I want to make music, I’m going to do it the old-fashioned way.

With a drum machine and a computer.

Winner: Rock Band

Instruments

This is the one people came to see. This is the one most people are interested in. Rock Band 2 had the ability to create a drumset, guitar, microphone combo set that included everything you’d need to start a band and that included doing what they had done before and just doing it better.

Better peripherals on the guitar (read: more guitar-like and a little heavier), a drumset that is a little sturdier and wireless, and a new microphone that catches everything.

Guitar Hero World Tour rushed out shoddy pieces of equipment in order to make a quick buck and beat the holiday rush and then threw it all on you, the fans, to fix and pay for later on.

Best showing of this: the drumset for GHWT is horrible.

Poorly built (like slapping a couple pieces of PVC together in order to make a pipe-bomb) and then poorly packaged, the system here is just to be quick and pointless. The drumset for hundreds if not thousands of people broke within minutes to hours of gameplay. Not because of smashing your hands and sticks against the heads, but from just shoddy craftsmanship.

http://kotaku.com/5068898/guitar-hero-world-tour-facing-drum-issues

Now that’s all well and good, but read some of the comments at the bottom. It costs you money to ship, they give you a hard time, and then when you finally get the new set, you’re better off fixing it yourself as opposed to sending it in because you save money that way and get to play your game.

Now, I’ve had Rock Band one drums for awhile now, and they work just fine still. I’ve had no issues. My friends and I get together to play this quite often. One of them likes to hit the drums quite hard. But I know, from experience, that if I did have an issue with the drums, Harmonix replaces them for free, pays you for the shipping charges, and gives you the new set, not the old.

Again, a friend of mine followed this curse.

The guitars for World Tour, I will admit, are better. But the rest of the set is ridiculous. The drums may have 5 parts to them, with the two cymbals and the three heads, but it’s a poorly crafted piece of junk that does not work past about a week if not sooner. Not only that, but in Rock Band 1 and 2 the “starpower” upgrade during the game is much easier to do (which I will get to in Gameplay). GHWT has a pretty stupid method to do that.

Winner: Rock Band

Gameplay

You may think I’m biased after this one, but reading all the news articles that show a definite bias toward Guitar Hero left me a little cold and I felt it was my duty to say something.

Rock Band is built for picking up and playing for whatever period of time you want to play. If you want to train, pick it up on a lazy Sunday like my wife does and practice. Grab the guitar, the drums, the microphone, and try your hand at any part of them. If you want to dominate and go on a tour of the globe, grab some friends and start to rock or go on a solo gig and just own all those songs on whichever instrument you desire.

Guitar Hero seems built for the ultra-lazy player, the one who doesn’t want to really start a band but would rather just play by him or herself. The gameplay is standard Guitar Hero, punch some buttons, string some chords, and you rock the song.

But if you’re singing, good luck.

Depending on the resolution of the TV or the quality of the system you’ve purchased it on, you better have the liner notes handy or you will not be able to read the lyrics, whether in static mode or scrolling. That was one thing that could have been good about that. But alas. No.

The other thing that my wife pointed out while attempting to rock as a group in GHWT was the lack of direction in the instruction book. Pick up the book for Rock Band 1 or 2 and they delve into the songs, they delve into the gameplay, they tell you what certain things do and how to do them. Guitar Hero World Tour relies on the player to either get online to figure it out or just play through it.

If I hadn’t been told how to get starpower on drums in GHWT, I never would have figured it out. But you have to hit both cymbals at the same time, missing at least 2 notes while you’re attempting this, to rock out. In Rock Band 1 and 2, you are given a portion of the song with which to just cut loose and hit any drumhead you want, and that blasts you into starpower (so long as you hit the last note needed correctly).

Much simpler, much easier, and just so much more awesome.

Another difference on say, the Wii version of GHWT, while singing, you have to hit the A button to power up. So I hit the A button every few seconds to just do it, whatever. In Rock Band, if you hit the notes correctly and kick ass on the song, boom, you get powered up and you just sing to your heart’s content. Easy enough.

The one thing my wife liked about Guitar Hero was the ability to just strum on beginner mode. Which is nice for true beginners. But the difference between beginner and easy is such a jump that even someone who has played both would not be able to make the jump without struggling.

So the game is for those people who’ve played Guitar Hero before. Not very user-friendly.

Winner: Rock Band

Overall worth and enjoyability: again, Rock Band takes this category too. It was one-sided, I’ll admit, but having been dealt frustration while playing Guitar Hero World Tour and just enjoying myself while playing Rock Band regardless of how well I do, I feel that it makes sense. There is only so much frustration I like to deal with when playing video games, video games that are supposed to be a fun-filled time, something you do as a hobby.

Not something that pisses you off.

I have more fun in general on Rock Band. My friends, wife and I have created about 5 different bands between the two games. All of them ridiculous. All of them crazy. And just an insane amount of fun. Picking a name first, getting points and earning money, and then getting to go back and decide what would a character like Momar Van Der Camp or Cherries Barnaby wear while rocking? What would Dr. Jasper Belmont do, or what would a band of Mad Max rejects look like on stage together?

And they always look awesome.

Sometimes it’s a bunch of fun to just pick up the game, scroll through the clothes, and pick out crazy outfits. Pick out new looks. And just change everything about the character.

That’s where the fun is. That and all the Battle of the Bands, the Tug of War, and all the extra things you can do in Rock Band 1 and 2 makes that the game to buy.

So those are my thoughts on this battle. Rock Band is the series to follow. They love their fans and they believe in their game. They don’t have to rely on supermodels and sports stars to sell their game. They don’t have to have Tony Hawk roll in on his skateboard while faking his way through a drum solo in a commercial.

Have you seen Rock Band’s commercials? They play the song and show regular people playing them with their instruments. Regular people like you and me. People who can actually afford this game as opposed to the constant stream of having to buy and re-buy drumsets for Guitar Hero World Tour.

Next time, we give thanks. And maybe talk about D-Rex!

*****************************************************

Part 82

Things to be thankful for this time of year:

You know, I’m not that big a fan of the holiday season. I worked retail for a long period of time and I absolutely despise the way people act in the holiday spirit when they go shopping, especially the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday, Green Friday, whatever you want to call it.

Most businesses say it’s the greatest shopping day of the year. I’m sure the people in Washington are looking to that day as the day the economy bounces back as everyone goes out shopping at 4 am for deals on shit they don’t need just because it’s on sale.

I mean, look at Circuit City right now. People are buying crap there that has obviously been marked up 20% and then put on sale for 10% off. It’s insane.

But people see deals so they start buying.

So here is my list of things I am thankful for, in no specific order.

NOT WORKING RETAIL

I realized this recently, more power to you if you have a full-time job as well as a second job in retail or food service this holiday season or any holiday season. Seriously, more power to you.

You’re stronger than I. I worked retail or in customer service in some aspect (and still do) for about 8 years straight. I hated it. I worked at all the major chains. All the major electronics stores, retail stores, big savings stores. And I hated every minute of it. All told, no joke, I’ve had about 30+ jobs in my lifetime. And I’m still not even 25.

But that’s not the point.

I’m thankful that I’m not working retail this year because I would probably hurt, maim, or massacre someone this year. I was recently at the Target on 119^th and Blue Valley Parkway this past weekend just doing some quick looking around, getting ideas for my nephew and for other family members. Just looking.

Not really harming anyone.

And Johnson County parents have officially become the last group of people that I want to see in any capacity for the rest of the holiday season. I know they’re not all bad, but on 4 different occurrences in the same Target store, some asshole mom or dad pushed their way either right in front of me or right through me.

A woman hit me with her cart while looking through the DVD section and didn’t even say excuse me. Didn’t say anything. Just looked at me and looked right back at the shelves.

It’s insane to think that I lasted 8 years without hurting someone. I went off on her. I called her some nasty words. I threw my hands in the air in disgust and stormed off out of the section, thanking me for letting me know that I was lower than her on the shopping totem pole and letting me know, by hitting me with her cart and not having the decency to say I’m sorry, that I wasn’t worth her time.

It’s amazing. I’m all but certain she went on with her life, shopping and picking out other presents, and treating the people at the registers like crap or the people stocking shelves like they were nothing more than slaves there to do her bidding.

So I’m thankful I don’t work retail, otherwise, you might have seen me in the news for something terrible and big.

OBAMA ELECTED PRESIDENT

What a relief. What a soaring victory. What an awesome day.

It’s strange to be on the winning side of an argument about politics once in my life since every election before this that I had been able to vote in my side had lost. So obviously, I’m voting democrat. Big surprise I’m sure.

But it was a great day because the person I believed in, the person who I felt was smart, very well-spoken, a decent, hard-working man and one who actually deserved to be president and deserved to be in office (not just because he felt he deserved it because he had been a POW) was elected to be our next president.

The fact of race doesn’t come into the equation. I was just proud that we elected a smart person to lead us again, as opposed to some idiot who we thought would be a good drinking buddy.

On that same occasion, I was brought down and am completely ungrateful for what happened in California. But it’s just one of those things. We took a step forward and two steps back by way of progression. I am thankful that that means there is more work to do at making our country a better place, but it’s still ridiculous to think that we would take rights away from people that deserve them just as much as the idiots who took those rights away from them.

FRANK MILLER: DIRECTOR

I’m not so much thankful for this. The Spirit looks like shit. I’m thankful in a different way.

I’m thankful that this movie will probably bomb. And if it doesn’t bomb, than he may leave comics forever. So I’m thankful one way or the other. The guy who wrote Robocop 2 and 3 and currently writes one of the worst comic books of all-time (All-Star Batman and Robin) deserves none of your money. He deserves to be unceremoniously retired for destroying comics and making them everything parents hate and giving parents the perfect argument against them.

Fascist. Drivel. Not worth their child’s time or money.

But think about this: now he’s making movies, and some people are actually excited for them. Which boggles my mind. Yes, Sin City was a direct adaptation of his work, that’s fine, Sin City transcended the suckiness of the comic because his artwork wasn’t on screen. Had it been on-screen, people would have thought that a child had drawn the pictures and no one would have seen it (especially me). But if you fill the screen with actors and actresses that people generally like or are interested in seeing, you will create interest in a film.

The Spirit, not so much. Sam Jackson and the women are the big draws of this film. Sam Jackson was in Snakes on a Plane. Scarlett Johansson sure can’t sell a movie (any of her recent Woody Allen flops). Neither can Eva Mendes. Nor can they act their way out of a paper bag.

Throw in an unknown as the title character and a plot that sounds like Sin City part 2 (only set in a comic universe where people are supposed to smile and come out during the daylight and not at night only) and you’ve got what probably will be a spectacular flop. Fingers crossed. One way or the other, I either won’t have to see his comics at the store any longer, or I won’t see his name attached to a film ever again. So one way or the other, I win.

DARREN ARONOFSKY AND DAVID FINCHER

I am thankful that people are paying attention to one of Darren’s films. I’ve been saying for years that he’s one of the best directors working in the business. Him and David Fincher. Now both have movies releasing this year with big draws and big names in them. Both have people paying attention.

And the press is following the stories.

It makes me happy. It makes my love of The Fountain seem slightly vindicated. If you’ve never seen that movie, put it on your Netflix queue or rent it or just buy it. Best Buy sometimes sells it for like 5 bucks on DVD. It’s worth it.

It’s a love story from the director of Requiem for a Dream by way of science fiction. It’s beautiful. It’s gorgeous. It’s heartbreaking.

I can’t wait to see The Wrestler and I can’t wait to see Benjamin Button. Two of my most anticipated movies of the year and both are on their way out.

COMIC BOOK MOVIES

Now this is another of those give and take relationships. For every Dark Knight, there’s another Punisher. For every Iron Man, there’s a Spirit.

There are 75 comic movies in the works as we speak, and probably more to follow every day. So I’m thankful that Hollyweird is feeling the need to make comic book movies, but I’m not thankful that they’re doing it to specifically make money. Not for the fans. Not for the love of the comics. They just see it as a cash cow and a quick buck and all of us are proving them right.

Just like viewers did with a Twilight movie. You put someone’s favorite comic or literary character on screen and people will see it. It makes sense. It’s like remakes. You add a little spice to an old idea of a film that people loved, and people might go see it (case in point: The Day The Earth Stood Still).

Comic book movies and comics in general are close to my heart, but with the current spate of films being made based on anything and everything comic, I feel the need to be worried, because the bubble will burst, it always does. And at that point, they’ll give the Superman franchise to the guy who wrote the Wanted comic book.

SUCCESS

As I mentioned previously, I’m slowly starting to dip my feet into something big. And my not wanting to jinx it is what has kept my mouth shut so far. I hate to keep baiting you into thinking I’m going to give you hints, but it will be big. You will notice it. You will hear about it. But you won’t know it’s me.

It’s just strange to feel successful in a fashion like this, something I’ve been trying my hand at for years. And every day is a new adventure and something wonderful. So I’m thankful for the new friends and relationships I am making because of this leap I’ve taken as well as the continued working relationship I’ve created with these people. Add that to my friends and family, and it’s starting to look like I’m kicking depression’s ass.

Beyond that, I’m losing weight. It’s a struggle as there are so many things I want to eat that I shouldn’t, but I’ve dropped some nice numbers of weight in the last month and I want to keep it trending down.

So fingers crossed on that as well.

REMAKES

No wait, I’m not thankful for those. I hate remakes.

I’m obviously at a loss after those. I could go on and on about what I’m thankful for like family and friends and my wife and our awesome cat. But I won’t. It’s just one of those things where enough’s enough. Have a great holiday and I’ll see you back here sometime later this week for more new stuff. And maybe a little more news about my mystery.